The choices...

For some reason I feel the need to write about the primaries. Yago keeps asking what I see in Clinton, looking for an explanation of her appeal. I can't really give an answer but I've been mulling it around for about a week or so.

I think it's because she's what I wish I could have been. I don't like to whine about the gender gap and all but it does exist. I know it and she knows it.

I didn't give it much thought until I got out of the military and saw people less qualified than me getting paid more. Men (one man in particular, Dwight Cole) used to sleep on the job but was favored over me by management. I was his shift supervisor but he made the same pay. I was appalled.

I think back to when I was an A1C. During shift change,everyone was at the table doing change over and my supervisor (Nate) and another NCO (Denny) were talking about something they saw on TV. My supervisor said it was evidence all women were whores. No one said anything, including myself, because who wants to be that person? The one whining about equal treatment. It's a label you'll never get rid of.

When you're a woman you can't be too pretty or too ugly. Your hair has to be a certain way. Men just wear it short but women have to do something else. You have to look polished but not severe. You can't wear too much makeup but you have to wear some. You can't be silly but you have to have a sense of humor. You have to directive but not bitchy. Friendly but not flirtatious... These are all difficult things to navigate. It can be done but it's not easy. She knows.

Also, I remember when she published the book It Takes a Village. I was trying to raise Sam and depended heavily on my family. It did take a village. I remember 15 years ago when she was pushing for health care reform, this is not a new platform for her just because she's running for president.

I admire her ambition from a young age. She worked on the Watergate hearings. I never would have had the confidence to put myself out there in my 20s. Hell, not now in my mid 30s. She had a very successful career at Rose Law Firm (I think that was the name of it). She had bigger ambitions though that she gave up to live in Arkansas with Bill so that he could run for Attorney General and Governor.

She's worked and raised a daughter and sacrificed for her husband's career. I'm sure she's had to miss some of Chelsea's moments and regretted the time away. Men miss things too but I don't think it sticks to their conscience the way it does with women. I think we're wired that way.

Her mother lives with her. Again, I can relate. I see it as another issue she has direct experience with.

While I love Obama also, I feel like Clinton knows more about my life. I wish they could both win because I find myself rooting for them both. I think they could both do extraordinary things.