Against my better judgment

Although I have denied all requests for a picture of me with my pregnant belly I finally figured what the heck. I'm hoping for an early labor and it's not like Cancun where I can just change my clothes a bunch of times to make it look like I took pictures the entire vacation... not just the day I left. It's blurry but Sam snapped it when he got home from school.

Just Me and My Tea

I'm sitting here drinking my raspberry leaf tea cruising the Internet just waiting for my water to break. Please please please.

I went to the dr yesterday and she stripped my membranes, a lot less pleasant than I remember. In fact, it hurt like a bizzo. Then I went to lunch with Yago and just felt uncomfortable the whole time which got me to thinking... I don't like labor so much, I forgot how much it hurt. (forgot = blocked out) I keep thinking about Laurilou's epigerbel not working and how she popped every blood vessel in both her eyes when she had the Con-man. So I want to see little Ralphie but I'm afraid of his arrival.

Lunch with Yago was funny because he saw my expression a couple times and started getting nervous. He's now in preparation mode, asking my to have my bag and Schmitty's bag packed and ready. (complete with Chapstick, of course)

I've finally gotten stretch marks and I know a lot of people would say, "Get over yourself and join the club! You were incredibly lucky to not get them the first time." It's just really disappointing.

I'm trying not to dwell on labor or stretch marks though. They're both outside my control. I'll just sit here and drink my raspberry leaf tea between regular intervals of Tums.

An excerpt from a conversation with Yago...

This wasn't a conversation I had with Yagopuchae. He was talking to his childhood friend on the telephone, his very best friend since Kindergarten. I happened to be sitting next to him on the couch watching tv...

"Yep, pretty soon. Just a couple more weeks... No. We haven't prepared at all... we haven't gone to any classes or anything... But I figure I've seen pigs do it."

!!??! That was my reaction. Did he just compare the upcoming birth of our child to delivering piglets while he was in the FFA? For the record? Yes.

V-Day with Mickity's Husband

Here's a picture of how Sam and I spent Valentine's day with Mickity's husband. I couldn't decide if I should post the picture of Sam inside a helicopter inside a C-5 or all of us in the cockpit. I went with both.

Eye of the Tiger...

That was the title of Sam's cake for Cub Scouts. We celebrated the Boy Scout's 77th birthday with a party at the skating rink and a cake decorating contest. We didn't win anything but it was still fun watching Sam decide what cake he wanted to make and put it together.

This was also the first weekend Yagopuchae didn't have to study. He finished his degree and I'm not sure what we're going to do with ourselves. He gets up at 6:00 on the weekends and by 9:00 has a raging case of cabin fever. It seems before we were either commuting or he was studying, now he doesn't have any distraction. My only hope is that Ralphie hurries and enters the picture.

Ah, Sweet Memories

Today I drove by a DASR and thought of Sammy. DASR is a radar that sends information to aircraft about their direction, altitude and all that kind of stuff. At Laughlin we used to drive by the DASR and Sam asked me what it was (he was 3). I explained that it sent messages to the pilot. He said he wanted it to send a message to Grandma and Grandpa that he loved them. I thought it was the cutest thing. Everytime we drove by it he would tell it to send Grandma and Grandpa a message for him.

Good Ol' Bradley...

I feel like I'm about to explode, seriously. My belly feels so tight it's uncomfortable and I check it about 20 times a day for stretch marks because it feels like it's going to pop. Something has to give. And soon.

The doctor offered to strip my membranes last Tuesday but I thought it was too early. I still had 3 wks until my due date but if she asked me now I might just hop up on a table. Two days has made a difference in my attitude. On the other hand, I'm not even close to being ready. When I was 7 months along with Sam I was decorating his room and washing his clothes... getting everything just so. I'm not sure what we're doing this time around. It seems like it should be reversed.

I can't even remember anything from my child birth class. I took a 12-week Husband Coached Childbirth class with my sister Laurilou. Woo, I still smile thinking about all the fun we had making fun of the other couples. Poor Laurilou, massaging me at the end of class during the relaxation. Good God. The more I think about it the funnier it is! We were both completely pregnant, it was hilarious. We'd sneak Tums and Diet Coke and split a value meal from MacDonalds on the way home. I made her listen to me rap along with Dr. Dre while car dancing.

All I remember from the birth was the nurse coming in and trying to get me to do the hee-hee-hoo thing, I wanted to rip her face off. I remember looking at Laurilou hoping she'd backhand her for me! It was fun.

That'll Teach Me...

I took Sam to choir practice tonight and then decided we should eat dinner at Chili's. We got there and were told it was a 45 min wait. Yeah, right. I've worked in lots of restaurants over the years and hostessed at several of them, I never had any idea how long it was going to take. I saw the 45 mins predicted by the hostess as a challenge. "Okay." I sat and waited. Turns out it was about 45 mins. I can't believe I waited that long for a chicken sandwich. Maybe I shouldn't be so stubborn.

Incidentally, I thought early intervention would undo any damage my singing had done to Sam. I thought maybe the choir would be able to teach him pitch and tune. Turns out maybe the condition is hereditary and not learned... He's so darn cute trying to sing though.

Happy V-Day

I went to Sam's school yesterday for the banana split Valentine's Day party, I brought the whipped cream. Not real whipped cream but the canned aerosol stuff. I have to conserve my energy for the Cub Scout cake decorating contest next Saturday. But I did make a homemade raspberry-white chocolate cheesecake last night. Unfortunately, we didn't eat any of it because I started late and it was still warm at 10:30 last night. I'll get to try that bad boy tonight!

I spent Valentine's Day with my Mickity's husband, that was amusing to me. He wasn't even sure what day it was due to jetlag. Yagopuchae said he'd know if I had any secret fantasies about stealing him away from Mickity by the state of our house. If I freaked out and went on a cleaning binge that would mean Yago should be worried. Let's just say Yago slept comfortably. I guess he's forgotten I didn't exactly freak out cleaning for him even when we were dating...

Yago got Sam a Teen Titan book for Valentine's Day. Last night while I was making the cheesecake I told Sam he could watch what he wanted on tv. This is a priveledge never afforded him unless he's done a bunch of workbook pages and earned it, but I was feeling generous... He turned it to the kids channel and then announced he wanted to turn off the tv and read his book instead. I had to ask him to repeat himself. I couldn't believe it.

In other news, I can no longer cross my legs. It's annoying. I wish I could say it was because my belly is in the way but I think it's equally because my thighs are in the way.

P.S. If anyone's curious about what I got for Valentine's Day... A book entitled A Surprising History of How We Are Born, Birth with an inscription reading To Jenn, It could be worse.

It was only a matter of time...

My yoga instructor returned today after a week and a half of vacation. I was excited to go today, I cut my toenails and everything. (Incidentally, that may be the last time I can cut them before Ralphie is born. It was a struggle to put it mildly. Lots of grunting involved.)

About 3/4 in to the class I finally did it. I tooted a big noisy toot reaching for my toes. It was so embarrassing! That I didn't even know it was coming was the worst part. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to howl laughing but didn't think that was appropriate. Plus, lately when I laugh I expel more gas. I didn't know if I should whisper, "Excuse me," so people would know I'm not a complete pig. In the end I just bit my lip and held my laughter in. At least I have the I'm pregnant excuse...

A First...

WARNING--THIS COULD EASILY BE CONSIDERED TMI!

I had another dr appt today. As usual, I was weighed and had my BP taken by a tech and then escorted to the examining room. She informed me they need to do a Group B Strep test this visit because although it poses no threat to me, it could to the baby during delivery. She took out the tube with the swab and told me how to do it. "Insert it about 2 inches into your {yoohoo} and swab around and then into your {yahoo} and swab around. Put it back in this tube, put the tube in to the plastic bag here and then take it to the lab. Remember, work front to back." Umm, ok... Apparently, I should take it to the lab because it's got to get there within 60 mins. Then she got the fetal heart rate.

The dr came in and asked how I was feeling to which I responded, "Good." No contractions, no bleeding, water hasn't broken. "Let's get a measurement. 35mm, right on track." Really, it was about 3 mins with the dr, and she hasn't done anything but measure my belly since I started seeing her in Oct. I'm not sensitive but doesn't she even want to peek at my cervix?? I've been told it's really unusual... Really, it's just not where it's supposed to be which always makes for a fun exam. She doesn't even know that yet. I'm sure it's easy to find now given my condition, but still...

I got to the lab and the girl there made a comment about how strange it is to have patients bring their own specimens. I told her I collected the specimen too and she thought I was nuts. "Only in the military."

My Poor Little Fella

Not you Yagopuchae. Schmitty. We left this morning for the bus stop and it was raining a cold misty rain. We were well on our way when I asked Schmitty if he wanted to go back and get umbrellas (because I sure did). He said yes and we ran home and then dashed back out to the bus stop. I saw the bus way down the street around the corner and we broke in to a run. I grabbed his umbrella and we ran, I swear, close to a quarter mile to the bus. That poor little guy got on the bus and collapsed in to his seat. He didn't even wave.

The other mother at the bus stop told me I was going to have to start leaving earlier because she doesn't know how to deliver babies.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Exhibit A

The ongoing harrassment I was speaking of earlier... An exerpt from an email earlier today:

Me: Do my eyes deceive me or have you cleaned your ears twice in one week?

Yagopuchae: Could you possibly keep your “acornfinders” (eyes) on something besides the bathroom trashcan…

Joe's Up!

If you don't watch AFN you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's some Navy military trivia commercial that gets aired here. Anyway, I just made the crappiest cup of coffee and I'm choking it down trying to imagine it as a tasty gourmet treat.

Yago and I made a major investment in a Capresso coffee maker and I can't wait until it gets here. I've wanted one for years. Since I lived in Omaha, and I remember once they talked about it on the Sopranos. I remember thinking wow, even Carmella thinks they're awesome! She gave one as a wedding gift to someone. They don't ship overseas so we had to ship it to my parents so they can send it to us. They're nice like that.

It's trying to snow but the ground isn't cold enough for it to stick, pretty sad. I really think everyone should see An Inconvenient Truth. It really changed the way I view my lifestyle and its impact on our Earth. Really. I won't let Sam watch it though, he's already sensitive enough about natural resources and the Earth.

Tonight the Children's Choir starts rehearsing songs for the First Communion in April. I hope Sam gets excited about his First Communion when he sees it. He asked me last Sunday what it tastes like. I remember when I was dying to know what the little disk tasted like. Surely it was something delectable or else it wouldn't be restricted. Of course it's not good at all and is very disappointing in that regard but at least you get to go up there. (Choking on gross coffee right now.) When I told him he'd have to get a new suit I think he was on board...

Ready for the Nut House

Yago and Schmitty have been having a fine time picking on me because of a dream I had last weekend. It was strange but I'm sure it was hormone induced... Like the one I had where I was breastfeeding my mom's cat.

Anyway, I had a dream that I, a human, was hanging out with squirrels. Actually, one squirrel friend and her parents. We were college students and I was in her tree hanging out with her. Her squirrel dad was fixing dinner and the squirrel mom was pouring the three of us shots in the kitchen. Squirrel liquor is funny. It's really dark and I swear one bottle was Gravy Master. I woke up before I actually tasted any of the shots lining the bar.

I made the mistake of telling Yago that I was partying with squirrels and he won't let it go. Schmitty won't either. "You mean because mom likes her squirrel friends?" They cut out a picture of a squirrel and presented it to me the other morning. Really? Is this all necessary? It was just a dream.

Banking 101

Well, Schmitty and I just got back from the bank. He has $287.34 in his savings account, including the 100% 401k match. Can you believe that? I can't. Of course, it took nearly two hours to get the whole thing done but he's so excited.

While at the bank the lady, Miss Dawn, was telling Sam all about Hershey, Pennsylvania. She went there over the summer and said something to Sam about how maybe he could save for a vacation there. He replied, "I think we're going to Venice when my baby comes." She thought that was adorable and started asking Sam if it was a boy or girl and so on. She asked what his name was going to be. "We're naming him Terrence." I really didn't know what to say...

Ralphie?

Sam came home yesterday and informed me he wants the baby's name to be Terrence.

Now this is funny, even funnier if you know Sam and his circle of friends. His old girlfriend, Jessica, is a cute little black girl with a bunch of braids. His neighborhood friends, Caitlyn and Nick, are both black. When I went to Sam's Fall Harvest party at school his teacher assigned him a little black girl to help through the line. Last week Sam gave me a "peace, out". (Make a fist, thump your chest twice and give the peace sign. Then say "Peace. Out.") I asked where he learned it and he said, "Jordan." Apparently, he's in Jordan's club. His best friends at school have all been black: LeRhoan, Kean, DeJuan and Chris. I just think it's so amusing and now he wants his brother named Terrence.

9 to 5

I sent my boys off to work this morning, it was cute. Today is take your kid to work day and Sam went with Yagopuchae. I have a picture I may post later but Sam wrote a resume and wore a suit and tie. He was so excited that when Yago woke him this morning he was already dressed. Yes, dressed in bed. He is so funny. I want to post his resume but I don't think it'll format correctly. I'll try anyway, here goes:

SAMUEL EDWARD HUFF
PSC X Box XX
APO AE XXXXX
06313-553-XXX


SUMMARY:
Seeking employment playing computer games and throwing balls.

EDUCATION:
Patch Elementary School, Stuttgart, Germany (September 2005 to June 2006)
Kaiserslautern Elementary School, Kaiserslautern, Germany (August 2006 to Present)

ACHIEVEMENTS/AWARDS:
Most Creative Medal, Pinewood Derby, 2007
Soccer Trophy, 2006

ACTIVITIES:
Soccer, 2005 and 2006
Karate, 2005

CIVIC/COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES:
Tiger Cub, Pack 69, Den 4, September 2006 to Present
Vogelweh Children’s Catholic Choir, October 2006 to Present

EMPLOYMENT EXPERIENCE:
Kaiserslautern Elementary School, Poetry Folder Custodian, August 2006 to Present
Huff Enterprises, Table Setter, September 2006 to Present
Huff Enterprises, Bed Maker, August 2006 to Present

REFERENCES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST