What to do?

I feel obliged to post something new for Yagopuchae to look at. Apparently, he's tired of my previous post.

He comes home Saturday, Sam and I can't wait. I bought him something that I hope he'll enjoy, I'm pretty sure he will. I got myself one too because at the last minute I thought I might like it. Dilema: I was going to give it to him whenever we celebrate Valentine's Day but it's not a very romantic gift. It really isn't much of a Valentine's present so I could give it to him as a Welcome Home, I Missed the Crap Out of You gift. Problem there is, then I don't have any idea of what I would give him a week later. Probably nothing. Now that I think about it, maybe I should find out if he even plans on celebrating with anything more than an evening together. I really don't need anything else.

Hmm, what do you think?

Nothing

I posted a long entry earlier this morning that I've deleted. I don't know what was wrong with me but I feel better now. I guess it was the shower that helped. I really wanted to talk to one of my friends (sister included) earlier but they were all sleeping. Nothing anyone would have said would have helped anyway. I already know what they would say and what I would say but I'll call later, regardless.

I need some relaxation today but I have a lot to do, as is always the case on weekends.

I met someone last week who's going to put me back in the social distro list that the crazy Marine got me kicked out of. It was very funny when I told the story of how it happened. Maybe I should just get out there and make friends with people in my time zone, I'm not working shift work anymore after all. I do need some friends here but think it's unlikely I'll find someone that pops in with wine and chills with me for hours of giggling on the couch. :^)

Why am I so Easily Annoyed?

I got to work a few minutes ago and a major just came in talking about skiing, which we all know I enjoy but don't have much time for. He started arguing with me about how I need to get out and learn. I know, I know... but I really don't have time. "You're only an hour and a half away from skiing. Just leave on a Friday after work... blah blah blah."
"Yeah, I'll just leave on Friday when I get off work around 6:00 and pick up my son. That's easy." Enter sarcasm.
"Just pack on Thursday night, pick him up, shove a hamburger in his mouth and take off."
"Yeah, but I'm also really bad at it."
"Just take lessons, you and your son can take lessons."
It continued on and on, by the end I was so annoyed that he wasn't getting it.

First, I've NEVER been anywhere that'll give lessons to children and adults together. The lesson times ALWAYS conflict and I can't just leave Sam alone on a slope while I'm off with a group for a few hours. HE would have no part of it, trust me on this. I've hung out with him before, I kind of know him.

Now to the taking off after work on a Friday. Sorry, but the last thing I want to do on a Friday night after working all week is drive around lost in snowy, unfamiliar mountains at about 9:00 or 10:00 at night. I'm just lazy like that. There's no way I would be checked in to a hotel before midnight with the way the roads are marked here and my awesome sense of direction. Mentioning this is always met with a big, "OH, you HAVE to buy a navigation system. I got a Tomtom, I love it. I never get lost anymore." So, I guess if I drop a few hundred dollars on a nav system I could go skiing every weekend.

Keep in mind Sam would sleep in the car for several hours and wouldn't want to sleep when we got there. I'd also get to spend a few hundred euro on a hotel, food, rentals, lift passes. I haven't even begun to think about when my floors would be mopped, groceries would be bought or when my laundry would be done.

I guess I'm just being a negative Nancy here. He's right, it's easy to just get away and go skiing all the time while I'm here.

Whaddyaknow

I did it! I went to the gym. I heard someone yell, "Adsit!" after I got downstairs to the weight room. I turned around and saw Oleksa. My heart skipped a beat from fear of what he might yell across the gym. (They're not serving cake anymore...) Turns out he didn't harrass me nearly as bad as I thought he would, thank goodness.

Wednesday

Is it really only Wednesday? Can't it just be the weekend already? I need to go to the gym today but I'm scared... It's been so long since I've been in a gym. Plus, I didn't bring soap or deodorant for a shower afterward. Okay, I really have to go. I'll be disappointed with myself if I don't go today. Today is the day. (I need a little pep talk.)

Rant

This isn't good, it's only Tuesday and my jaw is sore. It means I'm tired, stressed out and chewing too much gum. I've got a bunch of deadlines coming up and getting little cooperation from other people. I don't like being stressed out about work... everything is an emergency but with no real consequence. I have to be humble 24/7 because of my rank even if I'm right and the O-5 is wrong. I'm still expected to be apologetic. People answer the phone with, "MAJ so-and-so. How may I help you, sir?" That ALWAYS annoys me, why put the sir in there? You aren't making brownie points with the guy calling you and if it's a female (yes, there are a few of us out there) it's annoying. It's a reminder that we're not expected to out-rank you, you want me home cooking someone's dinner. Grrr.

My Boundless Professionalism

I'm having many problems looking like I have my act together in uniform. My boots are too big and make me walk funny. It's freezing outside and I would consider double timing it in the morning but I'm afraid of tripping and falling. I always do stuff like that in front of a bunch of people.

I cut my bangs the other day to the length I like but they hang in my face while I'm in uniform. I'm supposed to be a marshaller for an MLR on Thursday and trying to figure out what I'm going to do so I don't look retarded in front of a BUNCH of Generals and Admirals.

My uniform is wrinkled and my boots REFUSE to shine regardless of how much Kiwi I slap on them. I've never, ever had shiny boots, I can't figure out the whole spit, polish and shine thing. I've used every trick known to man since 1991 without success and have been lectured at varying degrees about it since I was 19.

Here's something else... I cut my fingernails the other day. I had acrylic nails for the LONGEST time until after Sam was born and I didn't have an extra hour and a half (or money) to sit in a nail salon ever few (10) days anymore. Since then long nails have grossed me out. I hate my nails to get even a little long but it also grosses me out to cut them. I always spend a few days disgusted by them but unable to screw up the courage to cut them. The longer they get the more I dread it. It's weird.

One more unrelated thing... Sam has all the months of the year memorized except one. His birth month! Isn't that supposed to be the FIRST one you memorize?? We went over it again and again this morning and he did September, November every single time.

Money for Nothing

Money for Nothing is Sam's new favorite song. We heard it while eating dinner one night and when he found out I have it on a cd... Well, I've heard it every single day since at least twice.

The memories I have attached to it are weird though. I love to listen to Sam sing along in the car. "That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it, you play your guitar on the MTV..." Unfortunately, the song is on a cd that my ex made right before we broke up and has a picture of us on it. I don't particularly care to see a picture of us together but Sam likes the song so much that I hold on to it.

It also reminds me of when I was 12. There was a guy that was 17 that used to hang out in our neighborhood. (neighborhood = trailer park) I remember one night he was in his truck playing that song with me and my friends standing around talking to him. I was picking on him about his sweatshirt because it had holes in it. I don't remember the circumstances but he wanted me to go out with him and I was shocked (terrified) because I was all 12 and he was all 17. He was the cool, bad ass, druggie guy that dropped out of high school too. (Not my Jr Prom date, that was a different high school drop out.) Anyway, I found out a few years after I left home that he committed suicide. It's always weird when you think about someone who committed suicide because you never really see it coming. At least I don't, I'm always surprised. A lot of people that I knew in high school committed suicide, four that I can think of right now.

Well, enough happy thoughts for now. I have more housework to do.

Hellooo Weekend

It's another Saturday that I'm not working, how cool is that? I woke up early and super-motivated. I was vacuuming at 0800, made pancakes and then got sucked in to the tv. Castaway was on and even though I've seen it a bunch of times I really like it.

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about but since I got up so early I feel like taking a nap right now instead of doing laundry or going to the store. I MUST go to the store today though.

I've realized I drink WAY too much coffee these days because I get headaches every few hours, not just late morning anymore when I don't have caffeine. Coffee for me is kind of what I think smoking is for others. It's very social... being part of the coffee club and taking coffee breaks. Unfortunately, in my new office the biggest coffee drinkers are old gray-haired men. They're not all old but the 3 most frequent visitors to the coffee pot are grandpas. One of them has a wandering eye (not in the cheatin' kind of way) and one calls me ma'am. It's awkward for me to have an old guy call me ma'am, especially when I'm a LT! It might be different if I were a colonel. Oh well, I guess it's the one person I get a shred of respect from over there. I guess I should just appreciate it.

I'm just waiting for Weekend Update to start on SNL so I can leave and get something done today...

Is it okay if what??

I was happily awakened at 5:15 this morning by Yagopuchae. I always like to get a call from him but here's what really made my day:

Yagopuchae: "...Umm, honey... would it be okay if your dad and I had nicknames for each other??"
Waldo: "What?"

It seems Yagopuchae and my dad have been emailing and gave each other a nickname. And he wonders why I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to contact my dad without me being there.

Cleaning Up

I was cleaning up my room and found an envelope stuffed full of old bills and papers. I went through it and found some cute pictures of Sam but also some memories of an ex. There were a couple cards, a letter, and a picture of the three of us. It seems so long ago and I feel so detatched from it all. I didn't even think twice about tearing everything up and throwing it away. No sadness, I just looked at the picture and wondered if we ever REALLY had fun together. I'm still trying to understand why I was so upset last December. What was I going through that I thought he was the answer?? We were sooo not right for each other. Thank goodness that didn't work out or I never would have gotten involved with Yagopuchae, who I lu-uv! :^)

Other People's Kids

I am going to have to accept the fact that I have an exceptional child and forgive all the other annoying children in the world. I can only hope Sam remains strong and doesn't spiral downward to their level. Although sounding judgmental I don't blame parents. I really think a parent can only take small credit for a kid's behavior, they happen to be little individuals from the time they are born. I happen to have been extremely lucky for some unknown reason. Maybe God just knew I couldn't handle a challenging kid.

Skunk Pee

Thank you to my pungent coffee-scented urine for reminding me to drink more water. Thanks for stinking up the stall at work so I rush out (after a quick hand wash) hoping no one will associate me with it. I don't have enough problems forgetting deodorant.

Smrty

I have been brilliant lately! Tuesday I came to work without my BDU top, I'm still not sure how I managed that. I had to go back home and finish dressing myself, duh. Then, yesterday I forgot to put on deodorant. I thought I felt a little sticky but I kept putting my nose in my shirt and it smelled okay to me. But when I changed in to my pajamas last night and got my nose closer it was clear I'd forgotten it.

Today I'm all right but I didn't iron my uniform...

Contest

Coworker A just asked Coworker B, "So, are you going to break my record from last night? I didn't get out of here until after 8:00." Earlier Coworker B made a big point of telling the boss at 8:00 am of all the stuff he'd worked on since he came in before anyone else. (Apparently, he thinks 7:06 is the crack of dawn.) He says, "I came in to work on something and the phone's been ringing off the hook since I got here." Unfortunately, I came in at 7:30 (I was the second one in) and hadn't heard the phone ring at all. These guys are so interested in patting themselves on the back it's disgusting.

They're all my heroes, I can't wait til I become an ass.

Meeting with Father

I made an appt today to talk to my priest because I'm too lazy to go on the weekends. I told him that I'd, "had an intimate relationship before marriage." (big surprise to him since he remembers Sam) He said a few things including I, "need to love myself." I'm know I gave him a puzzled look because I wasn't sure if he was talking about masturbation! I realize that's not what he was talking about but it was my first reaction upon hearing I needed to love myself.

Also, during the course of our discussion he used the word "bastards" (not in relation to Sam, of course) and said Hell in a cussing kind of way. He has a Boston accent too which makes the whole thing even more interesting.

Bright Idea

Tell me who thinks this is a good idea. Let's put Jen in charge of putting together a briefing that the one star is going to give to a US Ambassador. These people have met me and seen my briefings... why on earth did I get this assignment?? I think someone's out to humiliate the general.

Lazy Saturday

Today is gray and positively dreary outside. I had great plans for today but now see none of it is going to happen. I need to talk to Father Passamonti but don't have the energy. I'm still sleepy without reason, all I can think is it must still be jetlag. Jetlag.

I see the church from my window and it looks beautiful to me even if it really isn't. It mostly has a stone facade but also has tudor styling that doesn't seem to match. Part of the roof has been redone and you can clearly tell the new tiles from the old... But the lights are on inside showing through the stained glass windows and it makes me want to go inside.

Sam has been sick today but that too seems to have passed. I need to wash the towels I used to clean up after him but dread the trek downstairs to the washer.

I miss my boyfriend and want to call him again but shouldn't. I talked to him this morning and don't have anything new to report plus I want to talk to him before I go to sleep.

I really need to finish sorting laundry and do some wash...

Back to Normal

I just got back today and everything seems to be back to normal. Sam's in the tub playing and I actually got a number from netflix and the problem should be fixed.

Christmas and New Year's went very well. I had a great time with my family and then met Yago's family. I don't think anything could have gone better. My plants even seem to be clinging to life. Herr Converso said kein problem about the Kehrwoche and everything. Only one thing wrong, stupid SOS.

I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I love it, can't wait to get in bed and continue reading it. I have tons of straightening up to do first though.

I start my new office tomorrow so I should have more to write then. Better get cracking so I can go to bed!