Cliche

I know it's cliche but it occurred to me that I didn't post anything that I'm thankful for...

I am thankful for my family. All of it.

I'm thankful for my friends. Both of them.

I'm thankful that I don't have to work anymore. (Except the next three weeks.) It's now someone else's job to make sure Sam doesn't have to sleep with the bugs.

A Home Gym

So, I haven't posted in a long time but I've been working and blogger is blocked at work.

In my office the guys all do pushups and situps about 3 times a day. I do about 25 of each and I've been trying to jog 3 times a week. I didn't realize how much I missed moving around until I started again. I feel great afterward, not always during. ANYWAY. When I change clothes at the gym I can totally see my abs and from a distance it looks good. The problem is, when I get home I can't see anything. It's something with the lights at the gym so I wish I could bring home the gym lights. It'd really be good for my self-esteem.

Dazed and Confused

I woke up this morning at 7:00, way late. I usually start hitting snooze at 6:00 and get out of bed at 6:30. When I opened my eyes and saw it was 7:00 I panicked. From my bed I yelled, "Laurie! Laurie! We're late, get up!" I kept shouting, "Laurie!" knowing it wasn't right. I was looking at Sam's bedroom, envisioning his face but I couldn't think of what name I should have been calling. Isn't that funny? It finally came to me, but the fact that I woke up shouting, "Laurie!" amused me.

The Great Pumpkin

We went to a pumpkin patch on Monday with some cub scouts. We had a really good time running around a corn maze and eating lunch together.

Whew.

I worked last week and all I can say is, "Whew." It was nice being back in a work environment with adults and whatnot but I don't know I couldn't do it on a permanent basis. It's way too hard to do anything at home.

Everday my house would get a little messier and I'd think I'd fix it that night but there was never time. I'd be so stressed out if I stayed in the AF, I wouldn't enjoy anything. I kind of feel like this way I can have my cake and eat it too. It'll only be a few weeks of work but I'll get to talk to people and meet different people and then know that when it's over I can go back to taking care of things at home.

I'd say it's a pretty good arrangement. Now if I could just get the husband home...

I'll spare you the picture... for now.

I went rollerskating with Sammy last night and forgot my camera. Why do I keep doing that? I charge it and then forget to bring it. ...But that's not the picture I'm talking about.

The skate was for kids of deployed parents. I went expecting to watch (and listen) to Sam whine all evening but someone generously offered to keep an eye on Ralphie so I could skate with Schmitty. I nervously donned my skates, something I hadn't done in many many years.

We got out there and after a couple laps of wall hanging he agreed to hold my hand. We zipped around the rink but eventually my luck ran out. I fell right on my kiester. I forgot how much that hurts... Anyway, I'm sure it'll bruise up nicely and that's the picture I will spare you all.

We had a really good time, it was the first time in a long time that I got to interact with Sam without Ralphie taking priority. I think it was important, I forgot how much fun we have sometimes. I even told him maybe we could go back just the two of us when Dad gets home. He was pleased, he thought Dad had to be deployed for us to do that.

What the Heck??

I just came home from Schmitty's football practice. I spent the hour laughing and talking to the other parents. As I was logging in to Blogger I realized my shirt is unbuttoned from the chest down. I've been walking around since God knows when with my shirt unbuttoned from Ralphie's last feeding!!! I'm completely *Agh* I can't even think of the right word! Well, I'm sure all the ladies enjoyed the peeps at my white fleshy belly.

Yagopuchae ordered me some fair trade coffee. I haven't been able to try it yet because I have to use up the rest of our unfair trade coffee first. I'd just like to validate my addiction to Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream by saying they use fair trade coffee.

I'd also like to blame Mickity and StuckinMD for falling off the wagon. The Ben & Jerry's wagon. Mickity got me back in to eating ice cream with her proclamation of Creme Brulee yumminess. I thought it was innocuous enough since I couldn't buy it in Germany. But then StuckinMD reminded me of my Coffee Heath Bar Crunch habit and I just bought one little pint... What could go wrong? Unfortunately, I started looking for reasons to go to the commissary and I couldn't pass up a pint of ice cream. Each time I promised myself I would only have a scoopful per serving. But every night one thing would lead to another and I'd be scraping the bottom of the container wishing I had more. Thanks.

It's been almost two weeks since I've had any but I think about it every time I stop by the commissary.

Runaway Fingers

I read my last post and wonder what the heck my fingers were doing when my brain was telling the what they were SUPPOSED to be typing. Holy crap, I sound like a retard. Whatever, I'm always in a hurry with the background "music" provided by Ralphie. I'm lucky anything makes it to the keyboard.

I thought of something cool that I could send Yago today but I didn't write it down and now for the life of me I can't remember what I was going to fill the box with. Hmmm.

Disruptions...

I haven't been able to blog or email much because I moved Ralphie's "crib" in to the computer room in hopes of a better night's sleep. Now when he naps and sleeps it's in the office. That's when I normally would used the computer, when it was quiet. Hence, no emails or blog entries.

Little Ralphie has a cold, poor guy. He tries to eat and blows snot in and out. Very gross since he's still nursing. I've been trying to get him to take a bottle more with mixed results. We was doing all right until he got sick.

Anyway, I had plenty of amusing antecdotes but can't remember any of them now. I'd better go watch Judge Judy, er, I mean do some housework.

The Green Green Grass of Home

I realized last week the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Again.

I've been kind of looking forward to a chance to work again, even if it's as a Reservist. I fantasized about interacting with people where the commonality wasn't our children. Our children wouldn't be the foundation of all our conversations. I could interact with people that would make jokes and perhaps even pull a prank.

Then I went to put Ralphie on the CDC waiting list.. Later that day I watched him start to doze in his carseat and he was so adorable. I didn't want to leave him with anyone else. I didn't want him to have a day separate from mine, if that makes sense. I didn't want to fret about what or how he was doing. Was he upset? Crying? Screaming?

It's good to have a reminder every now and again that I made the right decision to get out of the AF, even if I did give up A LOT of money over my lifetime.

Of course it's easy to say now because Ralphie's sleeping...

My Little Buddy

Little Schmitty is so smart and makes me proud. He had cub scouts last night and they were supposed to talk about their state flag. (They're military kids so they don't really have a home state.)

I told him I'd look up some stuff online and go over it with him after school. We chose the Oklahoma state flag because it was more interesting than the Nebraska one. I was rushing around while we talked about it and he asked me to write some of it down for him. I jotted down some quick notes and we went to the den meeting. Unfortunately, we left the notes and the little flag at home.

During the meeting we went around the table so the kids could talk about their flag. There were pictures in the book of the flags but only 2 other kids even knew what state they were supposed to talk about. When it was Sam's turn I could tell he was nervous but he remembered everything. The other parents were looking to see if he had all the information written down and were amazed that it was from his memory.

The shield is from the Osage warriors and is made from buffalo hide.

The six white crosses (stars) represent high ideals.

There are seven eagle feathers that hang from the shield.

The peacepipe and olive branch represent peace.

The blue background represents the flag the *Choctaw soldiers carried during the Civil War.

*He forgot the Indians were Choctaw.

Identity Crisis Part II

Guess who I met at the commissary today? That's right, Ms. Hall. Schmitty pointed her out in the parking lot but I couldn't see her, her back was to us. I studied her back side (not her derriere) and thought her hair was pretty yellow but maybe that was because she was wearing a yellow sweater. I decided to give her (me) the benefit of the doubt and think the sweater wasn't flattering to her hair color.

Inside, I got to see her close up and saw her face. My God! She must have been 50!! I was very disappointed. Stupid me, spending all those years trying to get a suntan. Yagopuchae would still be peeing himself laughing if he had been there.

Identity Crisis

Thursday night was Open House at Sam's school. When I entered his classroom his teacher, Mrs. Whalen, looked taken aback. I greeted her and she told me I looked just like a Kindergarten teacher named Ms. Hall. Hmph. Didn't think too much of it.

After talking to Ms. Whalen we went to the free spaghetti dinner put on by the PTO. We ate and left the cafeteria. A little kid followed us in to the hallway and yelled, "Ms. Hall! Ms. Hall!" I looked around and realized he thought I was Ms. Hall. I told him I wasn't her and he went back in the cafeteria.

I grinned and shrugged at Sam. He said, "Well, you do look a lot like her." I said, "She must be a very pretty lady..." Sam gave me a sideways look and didn't answer. I don't think that was very nice of him. Yagopuchae thought it was hilarious.

Whiny Kids

So much for a holiday today. I was looking forward to taking Sam bowling and hanging out but we battled instead. I always feel like I'm losing the war.

The thing is, I think Sam is genuinely a good kid but he has spells where I just don't know what to do with him. In the middle of it I would just like to throttle him (but don't). I try to stop the yelling match and make him calm down and I think we're making progress until he loses control again. He starts talking (yelling) back and it sets me off again. It's a downward spiral. He screamed and hollered so loud today I was humiliated because I knew people down the street could hear him. I couldn't get him to stop. God. He used to be so cute.

Aging Rock Stars

Anything more pathetic than an aging rock star? You bet. An aging fan. I watched part of the Diana concert earlier and when Duran Duran hit the stage I had to laugh. Middle-aged women dancing and singing along. Poor Duran Duran. I bet they think about all the hot women that attended their concerts 20 years ago every time they perform. I'd give up performing just so I wouldn't have to watch the old ladies swing their hips. They look like they're barking at the moon. Hooowwl. (I must admit I sang along with Ralphie on my lap and he look quite puzzled about my singing.)

Sammy went skating with a neighbor that he can't decide if he likes or not. Now I'm sitting here lonely with a lemon bundt cake I just made from scratch. I know how it'll turn out and it's not pretty.

Baby cries and momma signs off.

Buried in my own crap

The unpacking isn't going so well. I'm buried and can't dig my way out. It's making me super irritable too, I'm constantly snapping at Sam. (Like it's his fault.) Even when I get a suitcase unpacked I shipped myself a boatload of boxes so then I have those to unpack too. I can't keep up with it all. Plus? Two and a half months of mail? It's a lot. The counter is covered and I can feel Yago cringing at the thought of the kitchen counter covered in paper.

I got my hair trimmed yesterday and Petra cut the "style" out of it. Now it's just a really short bob instead of being angled. I'm disappointed but I'll let it grow a little and try again. As soon as I sat down she looked at me and said, "You lost a lot of hair, didn't you? I can see it." Um, yeah. That's great. I'm going to look like Mary the secretary. (Only Mickity knows who I'm talking about.)

Time to go dig some more. See what I can find in my mountains of crap.

Not a Love Machine

Ralphie is a toot machine. A great big smile-wearing toot machine. Watching him smile and toot makes me laugh.

I put him down for his morning nap while he was awake and he went to sleep in his bassinet. I'm so excited. I put him in the bassinet last night and he hollered for 40 minutes and then slept for 50 mins. I guess it's baby steps. At least baby steps in the right direction.

I'm really tired today and I look it. I have a zillion things to do but can't remember what they are now that I'm ready to go. I hate that. I'll run the errands I remember and then tomorrow I'll kick myself for not taking care of B and C while I was right there taking care of A. (If that makes sense.)

Compliment?

So what am I supposed to say when people comment on Ralphie's "perfectly shaped head"? I've been responding with, "Thank you." It seems weird and feels like it's dangerously close to an insult. I guess I can't complain after Yard Dart.

I'm Ba-ack!

I was just feeling all victorious that I got Ralphie to sleep in his bassinet but then the coffee pot turned itself off and now I hear him starting to fuss. Darn it. I need to win the battle of wills but I'm losing miserably. He senses my weakness.

Sooo, what a summer. What a trip back. I finally got home yesterday. I wasn't sure I'd ever get here, I was starting to think there was some vast conspiracy against my travel. The military couldn't get me home and then the commercial airlines couldn't get me home. I was getting desperate.

I have never been so happy to be in my own bed. Never. There is an indescribable pleasure derived from laying on your own mattress looking at a familiar ceiling. For the first time I stayed awake after flying home (well, pretty close) and then was able to sleep last night. Maybe the jet lag won't be bad after all. Sam went to bed last night without a problem. He woke around 2:00 am and told me he couldn't sleep. I told him to get in bed with me and he went back to sleep fine, so fine he didn't want to wake at 6:15.

I went to the bus stop this morning hoping to meet another mom but it was just me. It made me feel like I'm an overprotective loser but let's call a spade a spade.

I have to say, this could have been my best summer ever. I feel like I saw everyone I wanted to and had a good time. I visited family and friends that I haven't had a chance to visit in quite a while. I wish Yago could have been there (for parts of it) but I don't think he would have been able to hang.

Well, Ralphie's decided to not nap without his pacifier (me). I don't know how to convince him that sleeping on his own would make everyone happier. Apparently, not everyone would be happier.

My deepest gratitude to the friends I put out with very short notice, I love you guys.

Catch up

I haven't posted in a long time. I'm home visiting family and don't have a whole lot going on. The baby is getting better, not quite as cranky as usual. He's actually been good, so good it's irritating because (darn it!) I swear he was a grouchy little guy before I got here.

I've been trying to keep Sam busy but it can be challenging. He's resisting the morning routine of getting up and doing workbook pages. I'll have to beat him in to submission.

I've been trying to pump and it's not going so well. I'm disappointed on that front. I was hoping it'd be the secret to my freedom. Not really freedom, more like an occasional conjugal visit. Something to keep me going.

I'm running out of steam, mostly because I've been going to bed so late. I get up late and tired, don't get my shower early and then the next thing I know the day is almost gone.

I have taken Sam swimming and to the library. He checked out a book and then never touched it again. Grr. He wants to do things only if his cousins are too. It's funny and not a problem since we don't live here and I'm not working. I just pick them up and take them along.

That's about it for now. To Mickity: I'm reading your blog but haven't commented because I can't think of anything clever to say.