Fest Anticipation!

I am so excited about the upcoming Fest. That's the best part of being here, Germans party for any reason. It's spring, let's drink. It's summer, let's drink. And so on. I'm posting a picture from the Springfest for entertainment purposes. This is my famed Disco pose on top of one of the tables that a coworker caught.
By the way, it's a thousand degrees inside the tents. Hence, everyone is drenched in sweat.

Nearly Done

Three more hours and I get to go home. One more shift and I get to go back to days. One more week and my baby is officially in school, no longer a baby. I've already started receiving PTA propaganda.

I'm ambivalent about Sammy starting school. I'm so excited, now everyone will know what a genius he is. Teachers and faculty will marvel at the wonder named Sam. (Who knows, maybe one day his picture will hang in his high school library! Heehee!) But he is my baby, I've been telling him for years to stop growing. He no listen so good. I miss my little baby that used to fall asleep on my chest and gurgle softly in his sleep. Now he call kids a$$hole in German. (Reminds me of, "God damn it, God damn it, God damn it!)

Anyway, I just want to get out of here tonight... Three more hours.

Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored

Man, I wish I had something interesting going on. Some cool thing I was doing at work or some love interest to occupy myself with. Instead, I'm searching the web looking for something to do.

I start working the day shift later next week which means I probably won't post anything on my blog until I go on mids again in October.

My sister just had her 31st birthday. That is so unbelievable, when did we get this old? That means I'll be 33 in a couple months, luckily I'm still gorgeous! So I can't fit in any pants except sweatpants and refuse to buy larger pants, who cares! When getting dressed here are the three outfit options for me: Sweatpants and sweatshirt, pajamas (very popular), or the ever-glamorous BDUs. Nothing says, "Come get me like!" camoflauge!

Why don't I have a love interest again?

Old Friends

I talked to an old friend last night... I miss him and all the others. They were all so crazy and now we each have very different lives in different corners of the globe. Those guys were the best to work with. I was always laughing, the great big belly laughs that make your day, stupid jokes that you still laugh about a week later.

I miss being able to be ridiculous and funny at work without worrying if I'm undermining my own ability to lead. If this SSG knows how silly I am will he/she be less likely to do what I ask next week? Should I be giving them daily Sam updates? Whatever.

It's strange though, back then I didn't think those were going to be amongst my fondest memories. It seemed very banal at the time, I hated going to work. I wanted a job where I wasn't always competing against native speakers that had a steep advantage. I thought I was miserable, I wasn't.

I thought I was ugly compared to the other girls... bad complexion, inability to tan, chubby, bad hair. Nowadays, I look at myself and see bad skin and wrinkles. I wish I hadn't kept trying for the inachievable tan, I wouldn't have the wrinkles.

I saw a picture of Mogy and was reminded I thought Texas sucked but turns out I met some great people (check, a great friend) and learned a lot about what's important to me. I learned to eat cheese and drink wine. :) I also learned I don't much care for pilots. (Except Mr. Mickity, of course.)

Anyway, I wonder what I'll think of the present another 10 years in the future...

Dating Advice from a Pro

Okay single girls, listen up! I've got great advice for a first date.

Find a co-worker that works an opposing shift. In this case, we both work mids on opposing days. That way one is working while the other is sleeping. You both adjust schedules for a late lunch.

Next, choose a time when all the restaurants are closed. Here in Europe restaurants close from 1430-1730, we were searching at 1500. Perfect.

The cherry on the sundae is yet to come... Make sure you bring your 4-yr-old son. Yes, nothing breaks up the awkwardness of a first date like random Spider-Man story. Oh yes.

Now you must understand you can't jump in to a technique like this if you're a rookie. I have been doing this for 17 years, it takes much practice. It should also be preceeded by a period of about 2 years of getting drunk on free booze while a close friend chases down all the single guys and offers to give them your number.

Couple Days Off

Here's a quick rundown of my last couple days off...

I made Sam cry when I read him a bedtime story last night, I'm still a shoe-in for Mother of the Year. I read a fable about the Goose that Laid Golden Eggs. The goose is killed by the farmer and apparently that is very distressing to a 4-yr-old. Maybe tonight we can read Bambi.

I put the training wheels on Sam's bike, finally! I really need to get him out more, he's not so good at the bike riding. I guess it takes more than two 20-min rides a year to get good at it. We were racing, I was on foot while he rode. Not a good idea either... We rounded the last corner and he almost took out a black lab. Dogs are very docile here so the dog didn't even try to move out of the way.

Made strawberry shortcake last night with Sammy. Yum... Strawberries and Cool Whip... I feel like Homer Simpson.

Oh, and I got my car fixed after about three months!! That's about all I can think of.

Irritable

I need to work on my patience and judging... It would just be so much easier if everyone were more like me! You know, right. Everyone at work ticks me off, the bad part is I don't keep my mouth shut. I talk crap about someone and then try to be more understanding and less judgmental which really just makes me a hypocrit. I talk crap about Person A to Person B... then Person B gets to see me talking and trying to be nice to Person A the next day. I need to work on letting things fester, fester, fester.

Jury Duty

I just read that two of the jurors on the Michael Jackson case regret the acquittal and think he was guilty of molestation. I'm sick of jurors pulling this crap, HELLO you were on the jury! Don't you people get it? You have to carefully deliberate because your decision in permanent! Maybe it's just the impending book deals and television appearances but I'm down for a lynching myself... How can they be so irresponsible and weak? Publicly? How about you grow a pair when it's important and means something not just when you can make a few dollars.

Don't Need Fake Concern

So I work with a nosy boy who wants to know what's going on with my job. Am I moving offices? Where? What happened when I talked to my supervisor? All questions asked with feigned concern for my well-being. Please. It is so easy to see that you want me to fail, you want me to get screwed. That way you can feel better than me. I don't need someone ingratiating himself and insulting my intelligence to get personal information.

When said I told my boss I was considering getting out I got more sympathetic head nods. He told me, "You know this will hurt your career, don't you." "Um, no. What are you talking about?" Blah blah blah. Sorry dumby, I've only got 7 yrs left and I'm not some asshole licking balls at every corner in an effort to make rank. Thanks for all the support though.

Irritated!

I'm watching This Week and Rick Santorium is the guest and he is pissing me off. It makes me want to choke every Republican out there. How do these people get elected??!!

Sooo Lazy

Don't ask what has come over me but I have begun reading Moby's blog on a regular basis. Not sure why, I ran across it linked to a link linked to a news site. Anyway, I started reading it and now I think I'm hooked on it. He's got personal pictures on there, thousands I think. It's interesting reading about all his travels and he's even got some politics mixed in there. It's the whole working mids thing and not having anything to do but watch sucky AFN and surf the net. I've managed to spend hundreds of dollars school clothes shopping for a kid that's not even five yet. Quite ridiculous. On the plus side, I did finally sign up for TSP. I wish they would start matching but I heard it's in the works. We'll see.

I digress, tonight's subject is my laziness. I have tons of time here doing nothing and should be at my most productive... Instead, my brain is rotting on the Internet (see paragraph above). I should be learning another language, reading my butt off. Learning learning learning. Nope.

Everyday I bring gym clothes with me only to carry them home with a new excuse... every single morning. Sometimes the gym isn't open, other times I promise myself I'll change when I get home so I can run on a trail outside instead of around a mind-numbing track. Of course, I get home and take one good look at my bed and you know what happens. If those excuses are overused I just think it's too cold out, humans can't exercise when it's 58 degrees outside! I spend the entire 13-hr shift with my butt glued to a chair eating chips and cookies after I send someone out for burgers or chinese. Disgusting. Then I have the nerve to be ticked at skinny people and wonder why they're so fortunate. I guess they're not stuffing their face with microwaved cheese sticks and cups o noodles all night and then sleeping all day.

I'm disappointed in myself because I CANNOT get my house clean. It drives me insane! My mother would never have tolerated a house like I keep. I wasn't raised like this and it bothers me that Sam is immune to the clutter and mess around him. Now it's not that I am too busy, let's face it... I have time to watch tv and sit in a chair with my feet propped up. I should be cleaning, doing laundry, teaching Sam how to ride a bike... any number of things. Unfortunately, once the tv is on I'm busy staring at it and telling Sam to let me hear it. I should rid myself of the evil box in the living room but I know I won't. I can't handle the silence. Why is that? Why is the silence so disturbing? Really.

I've also managed to forget to buy milk, again. Sam hasn't had milk in two days, poor little buckaroo.

I think my entries are too long, I should work on that.

Tour de France

I just got the pictures back from our trip, I posted one of Sammy and me on Pepe Le Pew. I'm a retard with a camera. I took two pictures of the top of Zephyr's head when I was trying to get a shot of Lance. All said and told, I didn't get any pictures of Lance and the pictures of the other racers aren't that good.

I saw Krista in Heidelberg today. We were Airmen together and she went to Law School and got out. Our lives are now RIDICULOUSLY different, she's got more money than simple folk like me can imagine. Our visits always leave me to thinking... after the astonishment of her success wears off. Who's life would I prefer? I would live to have all that she has, including a husband that I love and that still loves me. On the other hand, I don't have many of the worries and concerns she has. I also am not afflicted by that terrible disease called perfectionism.

The most amusing thing to me was she totally called me out on something... We were talking about what I want to do when I retire. I said I didn't really know, when I was a contractor I didn't feel very fulfilled. I didn't feel like I was contributing to society, just making money for a business. She replies, "And you feel like you're doing that now carrying out Bush's policies?" Doh, that one hurt!

Anyway, here's a tard picture of the Tour de France... See if you can pick out Zephyr's head!

Pepe Le Pew

Let's start with Paris stinks. Not just, "Hmmm, that's smells bad." More like, "OMIGOD, I can taste that! Sweet death take me now!"

I know my homegirl in TX will be disappointed that I didn't eat any cheese or drink any wine but I was on a budget. The last night there we were going to buy some beer (for Zephyr) and wine (for me) and sit in the park looking at the magestic Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, the markets were closed on Sunday so were ate dinner at a restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. Zephyr and I each got a liter of Heinneken because it was cheaper than wine. There we were... While everyone is looking refined sipping wine Zephyr and I are drinking beers so big and heavy we must use both hands. We were the picture of sophistication. We looked more like we should have been in a frat house. That should make you proud. The only cheese I had was the brie sandwich on the plane back to Germany.

Let me add I had no idea how much I liked living in Germany until we went to Paris. Thank God I don't live in France.

Where is Derek?

I caught up with Fitz and Christian but can't find Derek (some may know him as SPT, think about it). I hope he's doing all right.

Getting ready for the trip to Paris but I need to make a list of all the crap I have left to do. Surprise, surprise... I haven't finished packing. The travel agency gave me a tourist guide only one hitch--it's in GERMAN. Hello, you work for SATO. Think you could give me a guide in English? The best part is there's a section in the back translating simple/common phrases. From French to German, awesome. It's all good, this way I'll be sure to get all the French attitude.

Took Sam to the Zahnarzt (dentist). What a waste of time, I should have known better. He wiggled Sam's tooth and told me, "Yeah, not much change from last week." Well thanks, Flash. Wish I could have figured that out for myself, oh wait, I did. I asked how long before it should start tighten up. "I don't know, I wasn't there at the time of impact. I didn't see his fall." Whatever, maybe I should get out and become a dentist.

To top off my day my coworker, who likes fat chicks, keeps expressing interest in me.

Take a Deep Breath

So I'm feeling a little better now. My boss pulled me aside today to say he will continue to pursue another job opening. Maybe there isn't a huge conspiracy to coerce my separation.

So my little buckaroo was trying to show off for his friends and fell out of the window of a play cabin. He just about knocked out his front tooth and may wind up getting it pulled. The dentist put him on a diet of soft food which limits his meal choices. He's been eating pasta or mac & cheese almost every lunch and dinner since Thursday afternoon.

This whole blog thing is a little complicated. I can't tell my coworkers to check it out because I'll undoubtedly wind up griping about them and don't want the gripee to see all the insulting things I have to say. Also don't need word getting back to my chain of command that I think they are ass clowns! The only other option is stop complaining about coworkers... Um, improbable at best.

Oh well, I'll figure it out.

13 Years Down the Toilet?

So, I've put up with 13 years of crap and it looks like it may be all for naught. Can someone PLEASE explain to me why if I get a normal Mon-Fri schedule it's a special favor or exception but not for every other stinkin' Lt in J6? Oh, so what's-his-name has 3 yrs time in service and is single... let's keep him working Mon-Fri, 8:00-5:00. Let's take the single mom who's worked shift work for almost a year and move her in an office where she now gets to go TDY one week every month. Yes, I see how that makes sense. You see, "Lt Adsit, the reality is you're an officer in the US Air Force. Maybe you need to consider what your priorities are." The Air Force, apparently, is not compatible with raising a contributing member of society.

Meanwhile, his father is living it up in San Jose. No one giving him crap about the miscellaneous children he's abandoned on this earth. He's not explaining to people that he wasn't trying to trap someone in to marriage when he got pregnant. He's not a promiscuous dirt bag that got knocked up after a one-night-stand. No boss telling him, "My hat's off to you, I don't know how you do it but the Air Force can't make exceptions for people in your situation."

AGHH!!! I just can't wrap my mind around this!