Call Me Executive Assistant

My morning started out pretty well. I stepped on the scale and I'm finally below 140 again, I think it was around Nov-Dec that I passed that magic little mark.

A couple of slugs (not the fun beer chugging kind) from my office came in and did their best to apologize. Still don't like them but it was fun watching the spineless one squirm while I shot him with my ocular death rays.

I am STARVING right now because the hall smells like my momma's yummy potato salad. Try as I might, I can never duplicate it. (Have I ever tried? That's not really important.) It smells GOOD! rumble rumble

I kept having bad dreams about separating last night. I dreamt they officially announced a huge bonus for voluntary separations ($250k) but Yago, in his zeal, signed up for it before me. Then, I was afraid of both of us separating with only HALF-A-FREAKIN-MILLION dollars. It would have been about $350k after taxes though.

What Gives?

I'm feeling a little down in the dumps today and am not exactly sure why. My self-esteem seems to be taking a beating lately and I hate work. I'd like to go home and mope in private for a little while and then get Sam to cheer me up.

I have a festering ball of anger in my chest. Maybe it'll pass...

I'm substituting for the secretary again, this time for 2 1/2 weeks. Will I still do this after I make Capt? The other Capt hasn't ever had to fill in for a secretary but I bet I will continue... (I don't have a penis, after all.)

I can't get the Exec to send out an email tasking the divisions for Holiday Party reps. I'm supposed to have the first meeting tomorrow but he won't even send the stupid tasker out. I told him I was drafting it for his release, I went in and told him after I sent it to him, I sent him and email asking (begging) him to send it out and he STILL hasn't done it.

Everyone in my office took off for the day and went to see the forward operating site for Exercise COMBINED ENDEAVOR and not only didn't tell me but didn't invite me. (They're all jerks anyway but come on, this tops the office luncheons they don't tell me about.)

Plus, I'm feeling kind of ugly lately. I have the world's worst passport photos, no really. I'm not kidding. I put on a few pounds over the winter and have managed to lose about half of it but I'd be embarrassed if I ran in to an ex. I'm really putting too much thought in to that whole scenario, I just don't want it to happen.

I want out of this Division so badly, it's killing me. I want to go plead my case to the General but I can't really move when I've only been in this Branch five months. There's just no way I can excel over here. I have to remember it's better than the NOSC.

Plus, my dad wrote me. The Sabres lost last night, just let this day be over.

New Headquarters Badge debuts

"Airmen at the service headquarters often work 18-hour days, said Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. T. Michael Moseley. And while the Air Force can’t give the airmen extra money or time off, it can honor them with the badge, he said."

Well, zippity doo da!! Thanks Gen Moseley, maybe we could cut some more people and all work 19-20 hr days. Someone slap some stars on me and call me General.

Haircuts! Get your free haircuts!

I cut Sammy's hair last night. I cut his hair shorter than it has been since probably his third birthday. He thinks it's cool. (Not as cool as the mowhawk he wanted but he's happy.)

I just went to take a big swig of my water and noticed a BUNCH of crap in my cup. Gross. I wonder how much of it I ingested.

Bear with me...

Health care. It ticks me off. I HATE TriCare, mostly because I remember when everything was FREE. Because that's what I signed up with and it was taken away because TriCare was going to be SO much better and save the government SO much money.

Well, they're trying to overhaul it now because DoD is spending too much on health care. (Maybe they'd spend less if soldiers didn't keep getting wounded when they're sent off to war.) By overhaul, I mean charge us more for less benefits.

They're spending too much on pharmaceuticals. Huh? TriCare doesn't even cover new drugs, only generics that have been around something like 15 yrs. Don't EVEN get me started on THOSE lobbyists because it'll just ruin my day.

I think we should ALL have the exact same coverage the Senators get. People hated that Clinton wanted universal health care. Whatever, I don't think anyone should go bankrupt because they were in an accident or contracted a disease. What about all the schlepps working that aren't offered health insurance? It shouldn't be a perk, it should be a right.

Jennifer's Death

So here's my little story of the day...

Yesterday, I called Yago when I got home from work (as I always do) only to find him thoroughly annoyed. He planted basil the other day and went out to check on it yesterday afternoon. A slug had feasted on his beloved basil and he was... shall we say angry. (You must first understand his love affair with basil and rosemary, let's just say it borders weird.) After a five minute rant he told me he had to get off the phone and salt the slugs. (The evil basil robbers.)

I called him last night as I was going to bed (as I always do) and heard a man giddy with excitement. Hmmm, what's this about? "I named one of the slugs Jennifer!" Turns out, after we got off the phone he called his father who let him in on a little trick. "You see, if you get a bowl full of beer and put it in a little pit so it's level with the ground the slugs will come out to drink it. They get drunk, fall in the beer and drown! It's the coolest thing!"
"...so you named a slug you were trying to kill Jennifer?"
"I named her Jennifer because she hurried over to the beer! She really likes it, it's so funny! So I named her after you, honey." (He's obviously pleased with himself.)
"You watched her die? And you named her after me?"
"Uhhh... No, it's real funny." (A little deflated now.)
"You named a slug after your betrothed and watched her die?"
"Um, you're taking it wrong. I love you."
Hm.

Pumpkin Head

I sent Sam to school with some ORANGE hair today. I hope he doesn't get in trouble. I took him to school and expected to see kids with painted faces and all sorts of things. Nope. Not a single person was displaying any spirit. Oopsy.

I finally ordered a dress last night. Nothing fancy but nice enough to have a picture taken in. Sizing charts are always tricky so I ordered big thinking I can always have it taken in. You know, by the same people that sew my the pockets down on my uniform. Maybe not such a brilliant idea after all...

Field Days and Field Trips

Tomorrow is Field Day for Sam's school. He's competing in the Tug of War competition. (not the Hug of War as he initially told me) He's on Team Ireland so their colors are orange, white and green. Guess who's going to school with orange hair tomorrow... I hope they send a note home and let me know what time he's competing so I can cheer for him.

Next Friday they're taking a field trip to the Rosenstein Natural History Museum. We have a four-day weekend on Memorial Day so I'll get to chaperone and go with him. I'm looking forward to it but it means I won't spend an extra day at Yago's house, that's a bummer.

I got an email today saying that the Clerk of Courts needs a $6 money order to send us Yagopuchae's paperwork. You know, the paperwork we requested about 3 wks ago. The Legal Office sent another request with the money order today but that means it's another 3 wks before they look at it. Then we still have to wait for the stupid piece of paper to arrive in Germany. Maybe it's a good thing the AF retained me, otherwise I might be tossed out of Germany on my ear. ...Or have to get a job at the Shoppette.

Happy Mother's Day

Yes, I had a happy Mother's Day. Yagopuchae made me a gift that has kept on giving. Oat bran muffins.
Me: "Honey, how much oat bran was in those muffins?"
Yago: "A cup and a half."
Me: "Hmm, one serving = 1/4 cup. Holy crap!! I ate like five of those little suckers!"

Lil' Buckaroo

All Sam was missing this morning was a cowboy hat. He looked countrified but still adorable. He has a green checker western shirt that he wore with blue jeans and a denim jacket. He didn't even want his hair sticking up as usual because, "Cowboy hair is flat."

I'd just like to throw this out for my own amusement... Has ANYONE (besides Yagopuchae) ever heard of someone using "raisin" in place of the word nipple? i.e., "My raisins are poking out?"

Congratulations!

I've been inundated with congratulations on my retention. It's retarded. A Colonel that's nowhere near my chain of command just congratulated me. The secretary gave me a handwritten note from the General congratulating me again. I think word is out among the Lt Cols and below that I didn't want to be retained because I've been asked a few times.

Meanwhile, I ran in to Mrs. Verbeck at Burger King this afternoon and she congratulated me on my engagement. Silly General, telling his wife...

Also, I saw Sam's teacher at the post office last night and asked if his behavior has improved. Indeed, it has. So I offer congratulations to my (our) little Sammy.

Disenchantment

Since my conversation with Mickity last night I've been thinking...

Many years ago I was watching a program about the deficiencies of American schools. It focused mostly on the disparity of achievement among Asians and Americans. What it boiled down to was expectations. In the Asian culture it was the child's "job" to be a student. They didn't spend an hour after dinner doing dishes, they spent the time studying. Their job was to study, not to help out with household chores. The father's job was to earn a living, the mother took care of the home and the children studied. School was their priority. I thought that was interesting and find myself telling Sam that his job is to do well in school.

I look around now and am worried and perplexed about our future as a nation. Kids finish high school and can't add unlike fractions. Nobody can spell worth a damn anymore because it's not important. There's spell check for papers and most writing now is informal, IM and email.

For the vast majority of the population, education is the only way to increase your net worth over a lifetime. The higher your education the more money you make, it's that simple. However, schools are more and more unequal. It's always been that way but it's getting worse. There is a distinct difference among the classes. (and the classes)

In the meantime, our government is moving to cut aid and student loans making it even more difficult for a kid from an average income household to go to college. Legislators are also well on their way to approve an extension of a tax break for investors. That's great for all those people making money off investments but what about the Americans that live paycheck to paycheck? So the parents of a 6 yr old in the suburbs (whose mother is schlepping her to French lessons, gymnastics and swimming class) just got an extension on their tax break. Meanwhile, the family of the 6 yr old living in the city whose is going to a rotten school district isn't any better off. He's not going to learn trig in his public high school and he's not going to be able to afford college.

This is all especially groovy when you take into account crumbling pension plans and global outsourcing.

Oh Bloggy, wo bist du?

I can't see a damn thing. I'm getting the black screen of death, what is going on?

BONKERS!!

I'm going bonkers!! This guy has been trying to drill a safe open for hours. However, there are intermittent breaks from the drilling when he pounds on it. I'm normally pretty good at tuning out that kind of stuff but Jeezy Creezy, it's been 3 or 4 hrs.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I'm going to spend the summer here in Stuttgart instead of at Ramstein. (Or Ramstead, as my mom calls it.) I had been trying to sign Sam up for swimming lessons and everything, thinking I'd be on the total slacker schedule.

I need to get out of here before I start screaming at the German.

Speculation

The news is out, finally. I'm being retained by the AF. That's right, they're keeping me in even though I wrote a letter and said I wanted out. Ah, how typical.

I misinterpreted a conversation with the Exec earlier today. I thought I was going to be forced out without the severance package. I was told the AF was going to treat the people who wrote letters as voluntary separations, making me ineligible for the money. I was bummed about not getting the GI Bill but was adjusting. Then the General called me in to his office and announced I'm being retained. "Congratulations, Jennifer. You're doing a great job."
Fake smile, "Um, thank you sir." Brain, process message. You must have misunderstood.

Changes

Yagopuchae is getting a new job, sounds a lot better than what he's doing now. The big bonus (in my opinion) is he won't be working for Arty. And hopefully, I'll be starting my new job soon. The one were I get to watch Oprah every day. The announcement should come next Wednesday. I'm warning you now, it's probably going to be a daily mention here on the ol' blog and if you call me... I'm bound to bring it up. I'm a total girl like that. If it's on my mind, I'm yapping about it.

Sam's sleepover went a lot better than I expected. They were good but they managed to bicker about everything, gives me a new appreciation for my mom and sister. Two kids are harder than one. I've heard that after three it's all the same.

I've got a four star event tomorrow and life should be SOOO much better after that's over.

I want to get out of here. Just take a couple weeks off and chill with the family but it'll have to wait...

Customer Service?

Here's what I've noticed lately... I am more surprised when I receive good service than I am when I receive bad service. Twice today I received good service and both times I walked out of the office in a bewildered, what-just-happened kind of daze. It's sad that I expect to be ignored my first few moments in an office and then get an, "I can't do that, what you're asking is impossible or it's not my job." attitude. I didn't have to beg or anything, it couldn't last all day though.

Sammy's friend is going to spend the night Saturday, I'm a little afraid. I'll report back Monday on how it went. We're going to go see Curious George this weekend so that should kill a couple hours.

Yagopuchae and I are progressing on the wedding and honeymoon. I got my passport pictures today for the Visa application. I'm going to make him promise he'll still marry me before I show them to him.

A Discovery

Last night I had to bring Sam in to work with me. I had to attend an online collaborative meeting so I picked Sam up from soccer practice and returned to the office. I warned him to be very quiet, no talking. I gave him an apple, a pen and a pad before donning my headsets and bringing up the website. He did amazingly well.

I just noticed the legal pad this morning. Across the top in big letters... WE TOOT YOU TOOT with stick drawings of us underneath. Nice. Thanks Yagopuchae.

Lots to do...

It's Thursday and I have tons to do. Yagopuchae will be here tomorrow night so I'd like to fold the laundry that's been sitting in the corner before he sees I still haven't done it. I should shave my legs before tomorrow night too. I have to get orders done for people coming to support the departure ceremony, update the weekly calendar, get my official passport (sounds like they want to send me tdy), get a letter from Leonberg stating I'm allowed to live in Germany... the list goes on. As you can see, I'm working on all this like a firecracker (you know, on blogger).

This morning I did manage to start a load of laundry, make Sam scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, and pack our lunches. If nothing else I feel like a good mom this morning.

Interesting Conversations

Here's an excerpt from a conversation this morning:

"Whoa, Sam look at all those cool motorcycles!" (me)
"Wow. They look cool. (pause) Someday I want to work for them." (Sam)
"What would you do if you worked for them?"
"You know, go with them to motorcycle class..."
"Oh yeah, I bet that'd be fun."

Here's another from Sunday:

"You didn't even notice the thing I did for you in your bathroom." (Yagopuchae)
"Yeah, right." Eye roll. (me)
"No, really."
"What'd you do?"
"I used milk to shine the leaves on the plant in your bathroom."
???? "What are you talking about? You did what with what?"
"Really, go check out how shiny they are!"

I have to give him credit, I don't know if I've ever seen plant leaves that shiny.

Fest or No Fest

Sam spent Saturday night at a friend's house so Yagopuchae and I had 24 hrs alone together. Unheard of. We went to the fest but got there too late and couldn't get in the tent. We had busted out butts walking to the train station in the rain and then searching for our tent at the fairgrounds. I was mad (and soggy). We got some food with a couple beers and I realized I was happier sitting and relaxing with him than I would have been crammed in to a huge drunken tent PACKED full of people. It really turned out better.

I'm losing motivation by the day, it's not good. I know the board results will be out in a couple weeks and I find myself not caring about tasks.

Sam starting calling Yagopuchae "dad." It's cute and gives me a warm little feeling inside. Like I finally did something right...

How do you spell fun?

Short Fuses

I don't know what's going on lately but everyone seems to be a little on edge. I had my outburst at the housing office last week but I've noticed EVERYONE seems a little short on patience lately. People get grumpy with me, I get grumpy with them. I think it's odd.

Complications

I got a surprise four-day weekend for Easter, that was nice. I got to take Friday and Monday off. Yagopuchae took the train here late Thursday night so we got an extra day together.

We all went saw Ice Age 2 on Friday, it was a really cute movie. I think the rest of the weekend we just hung out, Sunday we made a roast for dinner.

Apparently, getting married overseas is more complicated than Yago and I thought. Even in Denmark, where they're supposed to be lax, it's more work than we anticipated.

Hopefully, three weeks from tomorrow I'll get the board results. It'll be nice to actually get started on moving and getting settled in.

Susie Chapstick, or not

My lips are chapped. I mean CHAPPED. I'm not sure how it happened since I'm never too far from a tube of Chapstick. I have the peeling, annoying, bloody, stinging chapped lips. Very annoying.

There are about a thousand (maybe only 10) other things I'd rather be doing right now. Going to the legal office, housing office, cleaning up my apartment, doing laundry and putting my spring bedding on, running, grocery shopping, eating lunch with Sam, shopping for Sam's Easter present, planning a nice meal, shopping downtown... Any of those things and not in that order.

My board starts today and is scheduled to run for 3 wks. Hopefully everything goes as I have it planned and I'll be out of here soon. Maybe I'll miss working, maybe not.

What to do?

I've been pondering what I really want to do with myself when I have the opportunity. I'd like to own my own business one day but what would it be? I'd love to study different languages and how they're learned. I'd like to work with disadvantaged children, it'd make me feel like I was making a difference in the world. Hmm. Seems like most people have this figured out when they graduate college at 22. I could get my master's in something marketable and try to make a ton of money but I don't think I'd get much satisfaction. I wanted to go to med school but it'll demand more of my time than I'm willing give. Maybe I'll become and astronaut or a cowgirl.

Spelling

Sam wants to learn how to spell Schmitty. Why you ask? Good question. Seems that was a nickname he was given. By whom? Another fine question that I, myself, asked last Saturday morning over breakfast. Apparently, Yagopuchae decided a while back to nickname Sam Schmitty. In return, Schmitty gets to call Yago...hold on, this is good...The King. That's right, they are now known as Schmitty and The King.

When I tried to pin Yago down on why and how this came about he couldn't answer. The best he could do was say, "Everybody loves a nickname and Schmitty is a good one. Have you ever met someone named Schmitty that you didn't like? That's a cool, come-on-over-and-watch-the-game name."
"Okay. And The King?"
Crickets chirping.

That Was Fun

Just once I would like to have a cool boss. You know, someone that gave me projects and then gave me the authority to complete them. That'd be awesome. Instead, I get ass clowns that make ME look like an incapable ass clown.

I had the Colonel that I've been playing secretary for show up at a meeting today. I am the J6 Directorate rep and have attended ALL the meetings, which is more than I can say about my counterparts. The good Colonel shows up (late), takes my copy of the handouts and asks questions that were answered three weeks ago. I tried to tell him where we're at and he waved me away and proceeded to ask questions like, "I talked to the G6 and know the VISE team is locked in. Does anyone here know who initially reserved them?" Sir, that was ME. Your secretary for the last two days. The Lt who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. The one you assigned the task to.

Thanks, Jerky. I don't have enough problems getting anyone to listen to me.

Ready to move on

Those night sweats I was so worried about... Well they haven't returned. That's good news but I don't know if I should go ahead and have the labs done since they were already ordered. That's not really very interesting...

I don't have much that's interesting to blog about these days. I'm engaged and planning the honeymoon, waiting for my flaming exit from the AF so I can become better acquainted with my little boy and maybe have another... All very exciting to me but it doesn't provide much entertainment for a reader.

I can't wait to get pregnant again. This time there will be two families excited about a new arrival. I know Yagopuchae will be funny with his zillion questions. I may have to make up cravings just to keep him entertained. (really, to keep myself entertained)

Just Like Heaven arrived in the mail today. Yagopuchae put it in my Netflix queue but now denies it. See, I gave him my username and password in case there was something that he wanted to see. I was trying to be thoughtful. I went from having three movies in my queue to 52! That's right, 52 friekin' movies. Thanks Yago, we're set until mid 2007 with the movies. But back to the topic of the paragraph... He loves Reese Witherspoon but is too embarrassed to admit he put a romantic comedy (or drama, I dunno) in the queue. Don't worry, we won't think any less of you.

A Thousand Words (or 50)

I posted the picture of my ring last night, as promised. You may be wondering why I placed my new diamond ring on a Jimmy Dean sausage link for a photo...

If you look at the picture you'll notice a cut on my middle finger. That's from chopping onions at Yagopuchae's house a week and a half ago. I cut myself but continued on chopping, being careful not to get blood on the food. But when Yago saw what I'd done he ran upstairs and got some peroxide and a bandaid for me. He bandaged me up, it was pretty cute really. Of course, it could just be that he didn't want to chop onions or have to cook bloody onions...

The Big News

So Yagopuchae finally lost what bit of mind he had and got down on one knee and proposed. He presented me with a beautiful 1/2 carat diamond set in platinum.

I'm very happy and want to run around and show everyone but don't want to be annoying. Especially since I work mostly with men that would, more than likely, feel bad for the poor sap I suckered in to an engagement.

I'll try to post a picture tonight... (big smile)

Are you kidding?

I was browsing cnn.com and saw two articles the made me shake my head and say wth (what the heck)?

First a man died running from cops when he got stuck in some mud. He thought he was wanted but turns out he just got pulled over for expired registration and driver's license. He ran away and got stuck waist deep in a mudhole when it was 30 degrees out. They tried to pull him out for an hour but weren't able to save him.

Another guy was a doctor working AIDS relief in Botswana when he was pulled out of a canoe by an alligator. He was on some tour with his new wife when it happened. This guy had worked in Iran in the 70s, been the Chief of Medicine at a couple of VA hospitals and then cared for his wife until she died in 2001 of some neuromuscular disease. He'd finally remarried and moved to Africa to be eaten by an alligator? How do you tell kids that grandpa was eaten by an alligator in Botswana?

I think about dying sometimes, ever since a near collision with a tanker. I hope Sam doesn't have to tell people I was gobbled up by an alligator in Africa. It does kind of make me think of Happy Gilmore though. ;^)

What's IS it?

So I was freaking out a little bit, I think I'm okay now. It's just a wait and see kind of thing...

I've been getting night sweats when I go off the pill, it's been going on for a couple years. I tried to tell a doctor about it a year and a half ago but he ignored me. I finally found a doctor that listened to me and I'm supposed to be tested next week. She told me to quit taking the pill for a month so she could do the blood tests and then I have to wait a couple more weeks for the results.

I was afraid now that someone is listening nothing will be wrong. I thought maybe I wouldn't get night sweats now that I'm supposed to get a blood test to find out what is causing it. Saturday and Sunday nights I woke up a little warm but it wasn't like the night sweats that I would wake up with in TX where I was soaked. ...Until last night. So it is still happening but only when I'm not on the pill.

But really, other than premature menopause what could be causing this? It's obviously a hormone problem if it's okay while I'm taking BCP. I was hoping for some answers and searched WebMD but everything says menopause or cancer treatment. I'm pretty sure I haven't been treated for cancer... You're not supposed to go through "the change" until 50!!

PLUS I read a few blogs almost every day and what's up with all the fertility problems?? Greek Tragedy, Zube Girl, Painting Chef...

Cinnabon Day

Today is a Cinnabon fundraiser so I preordered a four pack. Sam and I got up early and came in to my office to eat our Cinnabons. We sat at the conference table with our little cartons of milk and had breakfast together. It was cute. Then I walked him to school and gave him a hug in front of all his friends, I don't care. He can be embarrassed later.

I walked back to the office with a friend of mine who has a 15 yr old son. The stories! I really don't want Sam to become a teenager. Really. If I ever find out he's trying to have X-E-X I'll have to lock him in the basement.

eck

I ate WAY too much Taco Bell, I think it's related to my thyroid problem. (Not really)

I'm filling in for the secretary again today because she's sick so you know what that means... I'm flippin' bored.

Looks like they may release the board results in May instead of June, that'd be good. Less time sitting around wondering if they got my letter... Speaking of that, I need to get started on it. "Members of the board, you can all stick it where the sun don't shine."

Why did I eat so much?? Now my belly hurts and I'm sleepy.

Pratice Makes Worse

So why is it the more I type the worse I get? I should be a seasoned pro but I swear I'm getting worse and worse. I leave words out, overlook typos... I just get crappier and crappier.

While I'm on the topic, my spelling is deteriorating too. I used to spell pretty darn gud, not no more...

Is it really only NOON?

I am tired today and not in the mood for worky. I drank half a pot of coffee this morning and then two mugs of ESPRESSO!! I'm still sleepy.

On the plus side, my urine smells like coffee!! Why does that entertain me so?

Sam Doesn't Need Therapy!

Speech therapy, that is. I just had a meeting at his school with the speech pathologist, principal and teacher. They've been working on evaluating his stuttering for a couple months now. Although his disfluency level is kind of high it's not impacting his education so he doesn't qualify for therapy. Woohoo! (The threshold is 3 disfluencies/min and they recorded 9/min with Sammy) I didn't really want him to be the "special" kid that had to go to speech therapy anyway.

I'm taking some stuff up to Yagopuchae's house this weekend. Not much, some of Sam's toys, books, a poster, Spider-man blanket, pajamas, change of clothes. Like I said, not much. ;^) I'll just keep squeezing in more of my stuff and eventually he won't even notice when I don't leave. I've already got the carseat permanently placed in his car and now he buys the soap, shampoo and conditioner I like.

Here's what I wish I was doing right now: Sitting on a couch in Kaiserslautern with my feet propped up, wearing comfy clothes with fluffy socks, under a blanky drinking some wine.

Here's what I'm doing right now: Sitting in a secretary's chair, wearing my uncomfy uniform with boots laced a bit too tightly, reading about humanitarian mine assistance in Africa and drinking water.

Sniff Sniff

I bought a new scent yesterday during lunch. I forgot what I was supposed to be shopping for and started wandering around. I've been looking for something new for a while but whenever I start sniffing around I can't find anything I really like. The perfume counters always smell of everything mixed together and when you pick up a bottle to sniff it's always overpowering. After a while olfactory senses are dulled and I'm afraid of choosing the strongest instead of the best. Too citrusy, too floral, too sweet, too prostituty. Sam tries to help but he likes everything and tends to pick the funky bottles based on aesthetics.

Yesterday I grabbed ONE bottle, took a little wiff and decided it wasn't awful. I accidentally got too much this morning. The first squirt was only half a squirt because it was a new bottle so I went with another squirt and it was too much. So now I'm in my office and it's all I can smell. I feel like a smelly hooker, or at least one of the annoying girls with WAY too much perfume that you can smell 30 feet away.

CONGRATS MICKITY!!!!

First and foremost, congratulations to Mickity for getting in to Villanova Law School!! She's going to do great and LOVE it. She'll find more intellectual people to sharpen her debatin' skillz. Pilots just think they're smart cuz a bunch of other pilots told them so. (gotta throw in some pilot hate)

Sam's doopy problem has improved since the pink diapers. He's back in underwear. He's afraid of going to Mr. Jason's house in a diaper again. Not very manly.

You know how some months fly by and some drag by? This month is DRAGGING. It's killing me. I'm waiting for lots of things in June... my board results, my promotion, and maybe a little celebration?

Friday I get to fill in for the secretary so I'll probably blog lots that day. That job is BORING, no one ever calls or goes in there. I just sit and stare at the computer.

Yesterday was an awful day. I yelled at Sam and didn't give him a hug goodbye and then got my butt handed to me by a Lt Col via email (who cc'd lots of people). It wasn't my fault but I still felt like the dummy. I was still thinking about it in the shower this morning but I'm finally over it. (I think.) Sounds minor but it was pretty sucky.

Look forward to more on Friday...

We'll see...

Today, Sam went to school wearing a PullUp. The only ones the commissary had that were big enough were for girls. He's got Cinderella on the boys. I didn't know what else to do. It'll only be for a couple days and we'll see if he improves...

For those keeping track... Yes, my son is wearing a pink diaper.

...In the Dumps

Yagopuchae is down in the dumps today. He's not his normal, goofball self today. It's okay, everyone goes through phases. He thinks he wants Sam and me there. Wait until we're there a couple months, he'll be sure to change his tune.

"Why did I think it was a good idea to put this woman in charge of preparing my meals. EVERY-freakin'-DAY?? Why didn't I heed Mistress' warning? The shriveled black roast was cute the first time... I don't think I'm getting rid of her either. Maybe I could PCS and not tell her, I'll just tell her I'm going tdy. I won't even get movers, I'll just start over. What I wouldn't give for a Double Whopper and falling asleep on the couch watching American Idol."

We'll be there tomorrow, Pooky.

At a Loss...

I am STILL having issues with Sam's potty training. He doesn't wipe or clean himself and I've tried what I think is everything without success. It is a DAILY battle. Every night when we brush our teeth and change in to jammies I make him show me his doopy crack. It is always dirty and I have to make him wipe and clean himself. I've tried being understanding, patient, furious, shaming... you name it. I thought (hoped) it would eventually work itself out but it hasn't. Last night I went to tuck him in and he had poo smeared on his sheet. Disgusting. I lost it.

Trying to do searches and check websites for advice directs me to sites that are intended for help with a new 2-3 yr old. I've been going through this almost 3 yrs!

Anyone (mistress??) have words of wisdom?

Heehee

I just tooted a noisy toot at work. Accidentally, of course. Still funny even though no one was in the office.

Flashbacks of Last Weekend

I was thinking about the ski trip to Austria last Saturday and found myself smiling. I was thinking about how Yagopuchae, Sam and I were eating poppyseed crackers and brie for breakfast. Sounds kind of hoity-toity until you picture us smearing the cheese on with our fingers...

Attention to Detail

Here's an example of my awesome attention to detail. Yesterday I wore my undies inside out, accidentally. The funny thing was I had gone to the bathroom at least four or five times before I noticed. (I drink lots of coffee and water during the day.)

Yagopuchae and I are making plans together for our future and I'm excited. No one's ever cared what I wanted or thought before. It's funny because we want the same things and have the same thoughts before we even discuss anything. It's perfect and I know I'm nauseating to everyone else but, oh well. I'm hoping to get out soon even though I said I wanted to retire. It'd be nice to have the money but life is too difficult trying to balance everything and not doing any of it very well. I think I'll be better at being a mom than a captain anyway. Plus, I don't much like being a Lootinint and I don't think Capt will be much better. It'll be nice not to look at train schedules every weekend.

The old diet isn't going so well, it's got me kind of bummed. I broke down and ate Taco Bell yesterday and today I was starving and ate my lunch at 0900. I even ate Cheerios at home before I came in but I was still hungry.

Even the Best-layed Plans...

This weekend didn't go at all as I thought it would. I had the big Sock Hop scheduled Friday night which was kind of a disaster. It was complete mayhem, a thousand screaming little kids with parents crammed in to a tiny school. I envisioned a cute scene from Happy Days and it was NOTHING like that. I knew Yagopuchae was uncomfortable in a room that crowded and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

We went to bed late and then got up at 0330 to go skiing. The weather was awful, Sam wasn't feeling it and it took ELEVEN hours to get home. We got home around 0500 Sunday morning instead of Saturday evening. In a word, it sucked.

Sunday was nice though. Sam's friend Brianna came over and we kind of just lounged around the house all day. I made dinner and Yagopuchae complemented it, as he always does. I swear, I could heat him a dog turd and he'd tell me it was the best dog turd he's ever eaten. "It's good, honey." :^)

Paying for College

I'm thinking I may redirect the money I send to Sam's college fund every month. I think he may be able to pay for it with the money he's putting in his piggy bank during Lent. Yesterday I gave him 2 euro and a dollar. I've already said the f word this morning, although no one got to hear it. People park like idiots, especially when there's snow covering the lines.

Eating Crow??

I've been dreading someone moving to my office because I thought she was a meany. Today is her second day, she's been nothing but sweet and now I feel bad. Maybe I shouldn't have bad mouthed her so bad.

On the other hand, I'm not the only one that has a history with her. I've heard from four other people that she's been a witch to them too. She has yelled at me and been unpleasant in the past but maybe I just caught her at a bad time.

I'll keep you posted...

Squared Away

In a feeble attempt to look more squared away I put my hair up differently today. I put my bangs in a barrette so they wouldn't hang in my face. Unfortunately, I have an odd-shaped noggin with hair that NEVER cooperates. I look like an idiot and this only accentuates my nose, one of my favorite features. My FAVORITE is the double chin that I noticed a few months ago. Today is the start of a new month and I'm going to try to improve my lifestyle. I used to do really well but somehow I ditched all my good habits.

Oh, and I decided to give up cussing for lent. That'll be interesting. I cussed twice before 0900 this morning so it's not going to great. I think I'll give Sammy's piggy bank 50 cents everytime I cuss.

Things I Learned Celebrating Black History Month

Today I went by Sam's school to drop off the black-eyed peas. I got them there early and decided to stick around until Sam's class got there so I could see my cutie. I learned a few things...

1. I should volunteer to organize an event or two. Then I would have the right to be annoyed when I go to these things and no one seems to know what they're doing or what's going on. I can't really complain if I don't step up to the plate though.

2. I need to pack Sammy's lunch. I stopped by his table when he sat down and saw he had some sort of flauta or egg roll looking thing (it was rolled up and fried) as the entree, peaches, milk, green beans, and chocolate pudding. I stopped by again when he was getting ready to take his tray up to the clipper. Peaches and beans were perfectly in tact and only half the milk was gone. I can't complain about that either until I start making his lunch for him again.

3. Principals should be mean and feared. Not ladies that can be easily ignored. It was complete chaos in the lunch room because even with a microphone she couldn't get anyone to hear/listen to her. I probably would have lost it and started screaming. Not really the desired approach either but at least the initial surprise would have quieted the cafeteria down.

4. Sam isn't as victimized at school as he likes me to believe. When he entered the cafeteria he was using his coat sleeves to smack the doopy of the girl in front of him. As we were parting DeJuan gave me a big hug when I reached to hug an oblivious Sam. I guess DeJuan didn't want to leave me hangin'. I stood outside waving good-bye to Sam who wasn't paying me the least bit of attention. DeJuan waved good-bye to me twice. Again, I guess he didn't want to leave a sister hangin'.

Soul Food

Tonight I'm making a dish celebrating Black History Month for Sam to take to school tomorrow. I chose black-eyed peas and I'm going to use Yagopuchae's Dad's recipe. He made them for New Year's and I loved 'em, I even ate all their leftovers. You know, part of making a good impression is stuffing yourself like a pig and eating everything you can find. I've got a certain charm about me.

Sam's spider costume didn't go as well as I had hoped. I guess the kids liked it but were messing with his legs and stepping on them. They pulled a couple of them off. He was so cute and excited in the morning but he looked defeated when I picked him up in the afternoon when asked how it went. It's hard because I see so many great qualities in him and get really upset thinking someone at school hurt his feelings. I forget that's what school is, sometimes it's not easy. Even when you're only five...

Little Miss Muffet...

Today is costume day at Patch Elementary, the kids have to dress like their favorite storybook or nursery rhyme character. What do you want to be, Sam? Spider-man. No. The Hulk. No, they are superheroes, not storybook characters. Hmmm. How about the spider from Little Miss Muffet that chased her away? Okay.

I'm not the most creative person and I had to think of how to make him spider. I really have to post a picture. I bought him a black outfit and pinned long black socks stuffed with fabric to his sides. He looks funny but adorable too.

Fun trips to the commissary

Last night I went to the commissary because I was in desperate need of milk. I bought a cart full of crap, including polenta that I have no idea how to make and have never eaten. Guess what I forgot... Guess where I get to go tonight (again).

I'm mad about what's going on in SD but at least it'll finally be out there and we all knew it was coming. I love how pro-lifers are super fanatical but are willing to make exceptions for when the life of the mother is at stake or when rape/incest is involved. If we're all living by what they see as God's plan or blessing why the exceptions? Wouldn't it still be "God's plan" or a "divine blessing" if you're impregnated by a rapist? Or if you're going to die because of the pregnancy? It doesn't make sense. When they stick that little exception in there it sounds more like punishing the wicked fornicators than living by God's this or that.

I really feel like leaving for the day, I didn't even take a lunch break to buy a cell phone like I wanted. I ate nothing but junk today though, stupid Cinnabon fundraiser. Stupid Girlscouts wanting to go to Switzerland. Maybe tomorrow will be better...

Yo Yo

My RRF was rejected by AFPC because of what the General wrote on there. I was afraid that would happen. Now I'm back to my slightly better than 50/50 shot and I'm stratified as 1 of 1. I'm not going to stress about it though.

Picabo Adsit

Yagopuchae, Sam and I all had a really nice weekend in Austria. I learned to snowplow and went up the chair lift a couple times. A real chair lift, not just a tow rope. I wish we could have stayed a little longer, I was really starting to enjoy myself and felt like I could do something out there. It makes me want to head to the mountians every weekend. I get a kick out of watching Sam too, although I didn't really get to see too much of him this time since we were in separate lessons.

Yagopuchae even spent last night at my house and got up at 4:30 am to spend another night with us. That meant an afternoon of shirtless man wrestling, Sam loves it. He's so good to us.

Can't wait until Friday when we get to be together again.

My Bliss

I'm so happy today, Yagopuchae will be here in a few hours and we'll be off on our little adventure. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm not done packing yet, he'd be annoyed. The thing is, I'm busy at night. I rarely am done, ready for bed and on the phone at 9:00 as I like to be. Really, I watch a little tv while I eat dinner but I'm not lounging on the couch procrastinating. I'm changing out of my uniform, cooking, eating, cleaning, nagging Sam to get ready for bed, reading to him and then getting myself ready for bed. Anyway, enough whining. I'll make a quicky trip home for lunch and finish the packing and it'll all be good.

I sent in the money for the Sock Hop at Sam's school in a couple weeks. I marked the "family" category and included an extra $2 for pictures. I think I'm more excited about marking the form than about the Sock Hop. I don't have 50's clothes for me OR Sam but it's just a fundraiser. I'm sure I'll see some poodle skirts and saddle shoes but I'll get by with jeans and my brown shoes. :^)

Clean Water

Sam and I met with an old acquaintance for dinner last night. It was interesting. I haven't met a single person that I worked with (as an enlisted person) that finds being an officer as fun or as rewarding. The ONLY good thing we all agree on is the pay is better. Other than that, it's pretty disappointing. It's too bad. I got the distinct impression last night that Steve isn't very happy and I felt like he was lonely. Not that he was hitting on me or anything but I just sensed he was lonely. I guess everyone is sometimes, but maybe it was the nostalgia of talking about old friends and jobs.

On a much more exciting note (or hand... or whatever), Yagopuchae told me he picked out a water filter last night and I'm VERY EXCITED!! I can't believe he really might do it.

I've got a ton to do today and, as usual, lacking motivation. I'd better get started...

So Close

I actually left the office today and went to the gym. Now, I didn't work out or anything but I did indeed arrive at the gym.

I've had my gym bag packed and waiting in my car since last Thurs but if you recall I was very busy with the Ambassador last week. Yesterday, it was cold and I didn't want to go outside, so walking to the gym was out of the question. Today, I had the motivation to go do it, to go and move my butt for about half an hour. I got to gym, and started changing clothes when I realized I didn't bring a sports bra to change in to because I wore one to work last Thursday. I packed a regular bra to wear after I was done. Now for you all who know me, you know a sports bra shouldn't have been a "deal breaker" (that's for you Mickity) for my workout. But I was just low enough on motivation that it was a good excuse. I put my uniform back on and got me some chicken man for lunch.

I stopped by the sports store and got Sam an insulated lunch bag with a flaming skull on it. Nothing says, "Happy Valentine's Day," like a flaming skull!

Special Delivery

Last night I picked up part two of Sam's Christmas presents that were shipped from FL. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my wine glasses in the Legos container. They've been at my parents house since I left TX because I haven't had room for them in a suitcase.

So last night I got to have some white wine in a glass that Mickity hand painted for me. They are the grooviest glasses ever and I was only sad that she wasn't there to share a bottle with me.

Sam has slept in his own bed all night for the last two nights. He usually creeps down in wee hours and crawls in bed with me while I'm sleeping. I'm glad he's sleeping in his room all night but I like to roll over and give him a snuggle before I get out of bed. So while happy about this accomplishment I wake a little sad every morning when he's not there.

Monday Monday

Someone messed with my ULAN machine and I don't know who. All I know is that my email settings are gone, all my favorites are gone and none of my websites remember my passowd anymore. Everyone has denied touching it but when I looked at it this morning half of the stuff was unplugged and I had to reconnect. It's not a HUGE deal but it is irritating.

The weekend went WAY too fast. Friday night Yagopuchae took the train down to Leonberg and we went out to dinner. We had a nice time together and ate some yummy Greek food at a place we went to on one of our early dates. He got me a candle holder with a painting by Gustav Klimt on it, I really like it. Then, Saturday night we all went bowling and the boys beat the girl. We all had a lot of fun and I know Sammy liked being on the boys team.

This weekend we're going skiing at a resort in Austria. I set up the trip but really have no idea what we're going to get. I'm not worried about it though because I look at it as a little adventure. I spend my whole week waiting for the weekend these days, I can't really decide if it's good or bad. It depends on my mood.

Not much else going on right now, kinda sad Michelle Kwan won't get another shot at the gold medal she deserves but that's not really my problem.

Tonight is Valentine's

As silly as it sounds, I'm excited because tonight Yago and I are celebrating Valentine's Day. We are going out alone and leaving Sam at the CDC (Parents Night Out). We rarely go out without Sammy (read back to Aug to reference our first date) but the opportunity is there so why not try it? I think Yago got me a little something too and everyone likes a present. :^)

I think everything will go all right with the Ambassador today. I did a comm check and got a techy guy in there in case something goes wrong. I just finished a mug of hot oatmeal and am feeling pretty relaxed. We'll see how long that lasts...

Insane

Help me! I'm going insane today!! My procrastination has caught up with me and none of my equipment is working properly, only adding to my stress. The Ambassador comes tomorrow and I can't print these stupid briefings, the video phone isn't working and I can't even figure out when the Gen is supposed to make the call so I can coordinate it.

PLUS, I'm supposed to send out a tasking to a component today but I don't have the time. My day is almost half over and I haven't accomplished anything yet. Then why are you blogging, you ask? Because my stuff is spooling in a print queue and I'm waiting waiting WAITING!!!

Help!

Been a While

I have tons going on but a limited amount of time to write. Sam and I gave Yago his gift when he returned, we didn't wait. It's an electronic Soduko game, I always spell it wrong so don't hold it against me. I think he'll like it.

Work is going along but I'm not enjoying it. I feel like I have a decent chance of being able to stay in now and I don't know if that's good or bad news. I know it'll be good in 7 yrs when I retire but I'd rather be home taking care of stuff. I want more kids but hate dropping them off at daycare. It was especially hard when Sam was around two, I'd go to work crying at least once a week. It was heart-wrenching when he cried and clung to my leg, I hated pushing him away. On the other hand, I'd be giving up a lot of security and freedom if I get out now.

I need to find some willpower for a diet but it's difficult. It's really starting to bother me but apparently it's not bothering me enough. We'll see. Maybe if I set a firm goal. Maybe 20 lbs by the end of June... I'd say starting now but I just scarfed down an entire pizza.

What to do?

I feel obliged to post something new for Yagopuchae to look at. Apparently, he's tired of my previous post.

He comes home Saturday, Sam and I can't wait. I bought him something that I hope he'll enjoy, I'm pretty sure he will. I got myself one too because at the last minute I thought I might like it. Dilema: I was going to give it to him whenever we celebrate Valentine's Day but it's not a very romantic gift. It really isn't much of a Valentine's present so I could give it to him as a Welcome Home, I Missed the Crap Out of You gift. Problem there is, then I don't have any idea of what I would give him a week later. Probably nothing. Now that I think about it, maybe I should find out if he even plans on celebrating with anything more than an evening together. I really don't need anything else.

Hmm, what do you think?

Nothing

I posted a long entry earlier this morning that I've deleted. I don't know what was wrong with me but I feel better now. I guess it was the shower that helped. I really wanted to talk to one of my friends (sister included) earlier but they were all sleeping. Nothing anyone would have said would have helped anyway. I already know what they would say and what I would say but I'll call later, regardless.

I need some relaxation today but I have a lot to do, as is always the case on weekends.

I met someone last week who's going to put me back in the social distro list that the crazy Marine got me kicked out of. It was very funny when I told the story of how it happened. Maybe I should just get out there and make friends with people in my time zone, I'm not working shift work anymore after all. I do need some friends here but think it's unlikely I'll find someone that pops in with wine and chills with me for hours of giggling on the couch. :^)

Why am I so Easily Annoyed?

I got to work a few minutes ago and a major just came in talking about skiing, which we all know I enjoy but don't have much time for. He started arguing with me about how I need to get out and learn. I know, I know... but I really don't have time. "You're only an hour and a half away from skiing. Just leave on a Friday after work... blah blah blah."
"Yeah, I'll just leave on Friday when I get off work around 6:00 and pick up my son. That's easy." Enter sarcasm.
"Just pack on Thursday night, pick him up, shove a hamburger in his mouth and take off."
"Yeah, but I'm also really bad at it."
"Just take lessons, you and your son can take lessons."
It continued on and on, by the end I was so annoyed that he wasn't getting it.

First, I've NEVER been anywhere that'll give lessons to children and adults together. The lesson times ALWAYS conflict and I can't just leave Sam alone on a slope while I'm off with a group for a few hours. HE would have no part of it, trust me on this. I've hung out with him before, I kind of know him.

Now to the taking off after work on a Friday. Sorry, but the last thing I want to do on a Friday night after working all week is drive around lost in snowy, unfamiliar mountains at about 9:00 or 10:00 at night. I'm just lazy like that. There's no way I would be checked in to a hotel before midnight with the way the roads are marked here and my awesome sense of direction. Mentioning this is always met with a big, "OH, you HAVE to buy a navigation system. I got a Tomtom, I love it. I never get lost anymore." So, I guess if I drop a few hundred dollars on a nav system I could go skiing every weekend.

Keep in mind Sam would sleep in the car for several hours and wouldn't want to sleep when we got there. I'd also get to spend a few hundred euro on a hotel, food, rentals, lift passes. I haven't even begun to think about when my floors would be mopped, groceries would be bought or when my laundry would be done.

I guess I'm just being a negative Nancy here. He's right, it's easy to just get away and go skiing all the time while I'm here.

Whaddyaknow

I did it! I went to the gym. I heard someone yell, "Adsit!" after I got downstairs to the weight room. I turned around and saw Oleksa. My heart skipped a beat from fear of what he might yell across the gym. (They're not serving cake anymore...) Turns out he didn't harrass me nearly as bad as I thought he would, thank goodness.

Wednesday

Is it really only Wednesday? Can't it just be the weekend already? I need to go to the gym today but I'm scared... It's been so long since I've been in a gym. Plus, I didn't bring soap or deodorant for a shower afterward. Okay, I really have to go. I'll be disappointed with myself if I don't go today. Today is the day. (I need a little pep talk.)

Rant

This isn't good, it's only Tuesday and my jaw is sore. It means I'm tired, stressed out and chewing too much gum. I've got a bunch of deadlines coming up and getting little cooperation from other people. I don't like being stressed out about work... everything is an emergency but with no real consequence. I have to be humble 24/7 because of my rank even if I'm right and the O-5 is wrong. I'm still expected to be apologetic. People answer the phone with, "MAJ so-and-so. How may I help you, sir?" That ALWAYS annoys me, why put the sir in there? You aren't making brownie points with the guy calling you and if it's a female (yes, there are a few of us out there) it's annoying. It's a reminder that we're not expected to out-rank you, you want me home cooking someone's dinner. Grrr.

My Boundless Professionalism

I'm having many problems looking like I have my act together in uniform. My boots are too big and make me walk funny. It's freezing outside and I would consider double timing it in the morning but I'm afraid of tripping and falling. I always do stuff like that in front of a bunch of people.

I cut my bangs the other day to the length I like but they hang in my face while I'm in uniform. I'm supposed to be a marshaller for an MLR on Thursday and trying to figure out what I'm going to do so I don't look retarded in front of a BUNCH of Generals and Admirals.

My uniform is wrinkled and my boots REFUSE to shine regardless of how much Kiwi I slap on them. I've never, ever had shiny boots, I can't figure out the whole spit, polish and shine thing. I've used every trick known to man since 1991 without success and have been lectured at varying degrees about it since I was 19.

Here's something else... I cut my fingernails the other day. I had acrylic nails for the LONGEST time until after Sam was born and I didn't have an extra hour and a half (or money) to sit in a nail salon ever few (10) days anymore. Since then long nails have grossed me out. I hate my nails to get even a little long but it also grosses me out to cut them. I always spend a few days disgusted by them but unable to screw up the courage to cut them. The longer they get the more I dread it. It's weird.

One more unrelated thing... Sam has all the months of the year memorized except one. His birth month! Isn't that supposed to be the FIRST one you memorize?? We went over it again and again this morning and he did September, November every single time.

Money for Nothing

Money for Nothing is Sam's new favorite song. We heard it while eating dinner one night and when he found out I have it on a cd... Well, I've heard it every single day since at least twice.

The memories I have attached to it are weird though. I love to listen to Sam sing along in the car. "That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it, you play your guitar on the MTV..." Unfortunately, the song is on a cd that my ex made right before we broke up and has a picture of us on it. I don't particularly care to see a picture of us together but Sam likes the song so much that I hold on to it.

It also reminds me of when I was 12. There was a guy that was 17 that used to hang out in our neighborhood. (neighborhood = trailer park) I remember one night he was in his truck playing that song with me and my friends standing around talking to him. I was picking on him about his sweatshirt because it had holes in it. I don't remember the circumstances but he wanted me to go out with him and I was shocked (terrified) because I was all 12 and he was all 17. He was the cool, bad ass, druggie guy that dropped out of high school too. (Not my Jr Prom date, that was a different high school drop out.) Anyway, I found out a few years after I left home that he committed suicide. It's always weird when you think about someone who committed suicide because you never really see it coming. At least I don't, I'm always surprised. A lot of people that I knew in high school committed suicide, four that I can think of right now.

Well, enough happy thoughts for now. I have more housework to do.

Hellooo Weekend

It's another Saturday that I'm not working, how cool is that? I woke up early and super-motivated. I was vacuuming at 0800, made pancakes and then got sucked in to the tv. Castaway was on and even though I've seen it a bunch of times I really like it.

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about but since I got up so early I feel like taking a nap right now instead of doing laundry or going to the store. I MUST go to the store today though.

I've realized I drink WAY too much coffee these days because I get headaches every few hours, not just late morning anymore when I don't have caffeine. Coffee for me is kind of what I think smoking is for others. It's very social... being part of the coffee club and taking coffee breaks. Unfortunately, in my new office the biggest coffee drinkers are old gray-haired men. They're not all old but the 3 most frequent visitors to the coffee pot are grandpas. One of them has a wandering eye (not in the cheatin' kind of way) and one calls me ma'am. It's awkward for me to have an old guy call me ma'am, especially when I'm a LT! It might be different if I were a colonel. Oh well, I guess it's the one person I get a shred of respect from over there. I guess I should just appreciate it.

I'm just waiting for Weekend Update to start on SNL so I can leave and get something done today...

Is it okay if what??

I was happily awakened at 5:15 this morning by Yagopuchae. I always like to get a call from him but here's what really made my day:

Yagopuchae: "...Umm, honey... would it be okay if your dad and I had nicknames for each other??"
Waldo: "What?"

It seems Yagopuchae and my dad have been emailing and gave each other a nickname. And he wonders why I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to contact my dad without me being there.

Cleaning Up

I was cleaning up my room and found an envelope stuffed full of old bills and papers. I went through it and found some cute pictures of Sam but also some memories of an ex. There were a couple cards, a letter, and a picture of the three of us. It seems so long ago and I feel so detatched from it all. I didn't even think twice about tearing everything up and throwing it away. No sadness, I just looked at the picture and wondered if we ever REALLY had fun together. I'm still trying to understand why I was so upset last December. What was I going through that I thought he was the answer?? We were sooo not right for each other. Thank goodness that didn't work out or I never would have gotten involved with Yagopuchae, who I lu-uv! :^)

Other People's Kids

I am going to have to accept the fact that I have an exceptional child and forgive all the other annoying children in the world. I can only hope Sam remains strong and doesn't spiral downward to their level. Although sounding judgmental I don't blame parents. I really think a parent can only take small credit for a kid's behavior, they happen to be little individuals from the time they are born. I happen to have been extremely lucky for some unknown reason. Maybe God just knew I couldn't handle a challenging kid.

Skunk Pee

Thank you to my pungent coffee-scented urine for reminding me to drink more water. Thanks for stinking up the stall at work so I rush out (after a quick hand wash) hoping no one will associate me with it. I don't have enough problems forgetting deodorant.

Smrty

I have been brilliant lately! Tuesday I came to work without my BDU top, I'm still not sure how I managed that. I had to go back home and finish dressing myself, duh. Then, yesterday I forgot to put on deodorant. I thought I felt a little sticky but I kept putting my nose in my shirt and it smelled okay to me. But when I changed in to my pajamas last night and got my nose closer it was clear I'd forgotten it.

Today I'm all right but I didn't iron my uniform...

Contest

Coworker A just asked Coworker B, "So, are you going to break my record from last night? I didn't get out of here until after 8:00." Earlier Coworker B made a big point of telling the boss at 8:00 am of all the stuff he'd worked on since he came in before anyone else. (Apparently, he thinks 7:06 is the crack of dawn.) He says, "I came in to work on something and the phone's been ringing off the hook since I got here." Unfortunately, I came in at 7:30 (I was the second one in) and hadn't heard the phone ring at all. These guys are so interested in patting themselves on the back it's disgusting.

They're all my heroes, I can't wait til I become an ass.

Meeting with Father

I made an appt today to talk to my priest because I'm too lazy to go on the weekends. I told him that I'd, "had an intimate relationship before marriage." (big surprise to him since he remembers Sam) He said a few things including I, "need to love myself." I'm know I gave him a puzzled look because I wasn't sure if he was talking about masturbation! I realize that's not what he was talking about but it was my first reaction upon hearing I needed to love myself.

Also, during the course of our discussion he used the word "bastards" (not in relation to Sam, of course) and said Hell in a cussing kind of way. He has a Boston accent too which makes the whole thing even more interesting.

Bright Idea

Tell me who thinks this is a good idea. Let's put Jen in charge of putting together a briefing that the one star is going to give to a US Ambassador. These people have met me and seen my briefings... why on earth did I get this assignment?? I think someone's out to humiliate the general.

Lazy Saturday

Today is gray and positively dreary outside. I had great plans for today but now see none of it is going to happen. I need to talk to Father Passamonti but don't have the energy. I'm still sleepy without reason, all I can think is it must still be jetlag. Jetlag.

I see the church from my window and it looks beautiful to me even if it really isn't. It mostly has a stone facade but also has tudor styling that doesn't seem to match. Part of the roof has been redone and you can clearly tell the new tiles from the old... But the lights are on inside showing through the stained glass windows and it makes me want to go inside.

Sam has been sick today but that too seems to have passed. I need to wash the towels I used to clean up after him but dread the trek downstairs to the washer.

I miss my boyfriend and want to call him again but shouldn't. I talked to him this morning and don't have anything new to report plus I want to talk to him before I go to sleep.

I really need to finish sorting laundry and do some wash...

Back to Normal

I just got back today and everything seems to be back to normal. Sam's in the tub playing and I actually got a number from netflix and the problem should be fixed.

Christmas and New Year's went very well. I had a great time with my family and then met Yago's family. I don't think anything could have gone better. My plants even seem to be clinging to life. Herr Converso said kein problem about the Kehrwoche and everything. Only one thing wrong, stupid SOS.

I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I love it, can't wait to get in bed and continue reading it. I have tons of straightening up to do first though.

I start my new office tomorrow so I should have more to write then. Better get cracking so I can go to bed!

Netflix Can Kiss My BUTT!

Netflix is the DEVIL. I hate them. I bought a one year subscription for my parents and for some reason something got f-bombed up and they credited the subsciption to my already existing account instead of sending it to my parents. I've emailed them three times and they haven't fixed it, they keep telling me to transfer it. Problem is there aren't any links to transfer it and I've scoured the frickin' website. There's no place I've found where I can fix their mistake. Add to that they don't have a phone number and I'm ready to beat someone. I HATE NETFLIX!!! I can't even cancel the whole thing, the gift subscription plus MY normal subscription because you have to return the DVDs within 7 days and I'm on leave right now.

Angry angry angry.

Bathing

My sister and brother-in-law were talking about baths. They told me a couple days ago that they always shower together (I didn't ask for these kinds of details). During the discussion about baths they were talking about how often they get a chance to bathe together. I interjected with surprise that they can take baths together. Laurie went back to the shower discussion and Brian said, "Well at least you don't get sores on your feet in the shower. Showers don't squeak either." It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my feet, thanks Yagopuchae.

Christmas Vacation

We've been hanging out with my parents, sister, bro-in-law, niece and nephew in FL. It's been fun but I can't seem to get over my jet lag, I'm always tired. It'll pass just in time to go back to Germany. I'm eating like a maniac, I had 3 Krispy Kremes for breakfast. I think that's what the holidays are about though. January is for promising to do better and get more exercise. I have full intentions of hitting the gym regularly once I start my new job. We'll see if my boss is agreeable, I should be able to work something out though.

Tonight's Christmas Eve and we still haven't wrapped the presents. Need to get started or else we'll be up all night. Maybe after some coffee, I'm pooped.

I took Sam to the ER last night because he has another ear infection. They said the scar tissue is so bad on one of his eardrums from the tubes that it should be monitored to prevent hearing loss. That's quite a run-on sentence and doesn't make much sense but I know what I mean. He's doing better now though.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

Children's Christmas Party

The Children's Christmas Party was Sunday afternoon so I cut my weekend short with Yagopuchae so Sam and I could go. I missed it last year and was advised to always volunteer for those things so that I would be given the day off from work. As soon as they started sending stuff out about the party I volunteered to be one of Santa's helpers. I thought I was going to have to wear a costume so I didn't put much thought in to my wardrobe. Turns out the only costume was a Santa hat, luckily I was wearing my Christmas Butterfly pin. Duh.

I showed up an hour early and ran in to an old aquaintance (Emily, she's the only girl I know that's been up close and personal with an uncircumcised penis) that I had gone to basic training and DLI with. We never hung out at DLI or when we ran in to each other several times in the desert. Now we're both here but she's not active duty anymore and we both have kids. We spent like an hour talking, it was funny because she's kind of ditzy and I totally can't relate. Everyone was supposed to bring a dish to pass, I completely spaced it and she forgot to put the chicken in her Chicken Surprise dish. Too funny. I haven't gone to mass in forever and didn't even enroll Sam in CCD this year and she was like, "Don't worry about it, if it weren't for Dave you wouldn't ever see me at mass." Sam's favorite part was getting his face painted with a spider on one cheek and a snake on the other.

School Days

Here's my random story of the day.

I take Sam to the bus stop every morning when I work mids and every day off when I work days. We walk and discuss what he's going to do at school that day, what his favorite part of the weekend was...whatever. Many mornings (like this morning) he'll spray a web and we'll run holding hands pretending we're swinging on his web. I cherish this time with him and wait at the stop until the bus gets there. We look at stars and play games with the cars passing by. Once he boards the bus I wait, watching where his sits and who he's talking to. As the bus pulls away I wave to him and he NEVER sees me. I still wave every morning in hopes he'll see me and wave back.

Congratulations

I've only got a minute b/c I'm on my way to Yago's house for the weekend. I just wanted to tell Abbyabbitha congratulations.

Must Share

I just read a help desk ticket and I have to share this with everyone.

The Col requests a new mouse. She keeps cleaning her mouse balls but it still acts erratic.

HAHAHA!! That's too funny and there isn't anyone to share it with here.

Diego Torres

I bought a Diego Torres cd when I was in Argentina almost two years ago and it's one of my favorites. As you can probably guess, it's all in Spanish. Diego is from Argentina and I think got his start as a soap star. Anyway, Sam really likes the cd too. He's never seen what Diego looks like but he's been telling me lately that he thinks Diego looks like Bayardo's dad. Too funny.

Pansies

I'm entirely too pleased with myself. Apparently, there are a bunch of slots open at SERE (survival school) for all the services. All the guys are talking about how they don't want to go but they could sign up the guys they don't like. None of them have ever been or ever want to go. I honestly thought the whole thing was fun. Mind you, these guys are Army Rangers and Marines that are at least majors and afraid of SERE school. Too funny, they're a bunch of pansies. SrA Adsit went and had fun.

More Explaining

Last night while shopping on post for some Christmas decorations Sam told me he wanted to celebrate Hannakah. He loves the whole menorah thing so we bought a menorah-like thing. He was whining about, "Why don't we ever get to celebrate Hannukah or Kwaanza?" This is a good conversation to have in the middle of the PX. "Well Sam, people who celebrate Hannukah don't believe in Jesus." And Kwaanza, what the heck? I don't even know what Kwaanza celebrates, just know it originates in Africa. "We're Catholic honey, we celebrate Christmas."

Fast forward half and hour and we're in the commissary produce aisle. "Mommy, what does Cath-o-lic mean?" Jeezy Creezy. (don't call me jeezy creezy) "It's our religion." Please stop.

I suppose I should be interested in Saddam's trial but I'm really not. Of course, he's going to be found guilty. I don't really care, the whole thing seems a little ridiculous to me. Even with the murders and security problems. Is anything being accomplished by murdering defense lawyers, no. Whatever.

Bellyache

Why can't I stop eating?? I am stuffed right now. I don't know what happened to me but I've been shoveling the food in lately like I thought it was all going to disappear. It's disgusting. Nuts, everywhere mixed nuts. I can't stop eating them and peanut M&Ms, forget it. Can't pass them at the shoppette or commissary without buying them.

I am hereby giving up all the crappy food that I've been eating. I realize nuts are good for you but not when you eat an entire container in a day. Ugh.

Happy at Work?

I have high hopes for tonight. I even got here two minutes early, unusual for me. Everyone seems to be in a good mood down here and someone brought in two bags of peanut M&Ms. Danger! Danger! My goodness, I love those things and I always rationalize that they're not that bad for me because they have nuts in them. I'm going to do some Pashto, read some of my Money magazine and my Larry the Cable Guy book. I slept forever today and feel good. We'll see what I report in about eight hours.

My analyst (one that I like) is even talking about switching nights with the sleeping wonder of an analyst so that we can work together. He likes me. (Not likes me, likes me. Just likes me. I shouldn't flatter myself too much considering who the other Watch Officers are.)

Sam was mooching my corned beef hash, eggs and toast tonight. He usually won't touch the hash so I didn't mind sharing until he was all, "Can I have more?" Dude, this is my breakfast. Shouldn't someone be in charge of feeding you? Oh, wait a minute.

I got up today to find lots of emails, that always makes me happy.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far...

Tonight I was trying to put Sam to bed and he fell down the stairs. Not completely down the stairs but he tumbled down a few of them. Last week at Yagopuchae's I completely wiped out on the stairs and think I broke my toe cuz I'm smarty. Anyway, Sam started crying and I went to comfort him and asked where it hurt. He said his hand and his back. While I was sympathizing with him he said, "I hurt my hand and my back like you hurt your toe and your back at Mr. Yago's." Yep, the apple didn't fall far from the apple tree. Poor little fella.

More Giggling at 0300

So, I'm real tired and have been trying to nonchalantly do some yoga stretches to stay awake. No one is noticing anything... Until I fall down doing triangle pose, that is. Quick recovery is key.

Play Date

We temporarily moved our office downstairs and I'm going more insane than usual. There's no tv, no movies, nothing. I have reading material but I've been awake for nearly 21 hrs and now fear reading because it brings sleep.

Sam's friend Kean and Kean's older brother, Sean, came over today. Three young boys... nix the half dozen Sam's I'd blogged about earlier. What a noisy handful. Kean was good but Sean was more than I could handle. The boys came downstairs fighting over a police car because Sean had it first but Kean wanted to play with it. Sean actually started crying, he's in 3rd grade. Sam stood witness to the fighting brothers by just looking at them. blink blink. I almost felt bad for Sam, he had no idea what to do.

The best part was when Sean decided to announce, against his mother's best attempts to stop him, that there's no such thing as Santa Claus. "Santa is you, you buy all the presents!" He knew what he was doing because his mother was yelling for him to stop, that it wasn't very nice and he just kept going on and on. It's not even like he said it once and got it off his chest. He kept saying it over and over.

This has all just reinforced in my mind what a good boy I have. I hope he's in my bed when I get home so I can give him a hug in the cuddle zone. I don't know how I got so lucky.

Giggly

I'm entirely too giggly, even for a girl. I laugh at everything, people giving curious looks... whatever, it doesn't matter. I find things amusing in situations where I shouldn't, I shouldn't be giggling and covering my mouth during the brief. I'm a dumbass but consider it part of my charm. It gives people the impression that I'm a dingy blonde but who cares. I'm busy entertaining myself.

I'm supposed to be paying close attention to the brief right now but since my part is over I'm busy blogging. Trying my hardest to type quietly, like trying to have sex quietly. Not too good at it.

My Baby

I took Sam to the bus stop this morning with his Spider-Man gingerbreadman tucked safely in his backpack. He's the sweetest boy even when I'm not the sweetest mom. When I lose my temper he's still sweet to me.

His friend is coming over after school today and I asked if he was looking forward to playing with him. He said yes but he was looking more forward to what he was going to learn at school today. Wow. I wish I had six little Sams of various ages, maybe even a Samantha in there. When I tell him I love him more than anyone else he asks, "What about Grandma and Grandpa?" I tell him I love him more than Grandma and Grandpa and he gets really upset. I've learned to say that I love them all the same. What kid doesn't want to hear that he's loved most? My sister and I used to plead with my mom to tell us we were her favorite. "It's okay if you tell me you love me more than Laurilou and that I'm your favorite. I promise I won't tell her." Mom never fell for it, she always loved us the same. Smart lady.