Hellooo Weekend

It's another Saturday that I'm not working, how cool is that? I woke up early and super-motivated. I was vacuuming at 0800, made pancakes and then got sucked in to the tv. Castaway was on and even though I've seen it a bunch of times I really like it.

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about but since I got up so early I feel like taking a nap right now instead of doing laundry or going to the store. I MUST go to the store today though.

I've realized I drink WAY too much coffee these days because I get headaches every few hours, not just late morning anymore when I don't have caffeine. Coffee for me is kind of what I think smoking is for others. It's very social... being part of the coffee club and taking coffee breaks. Unfortunately, in my new office the biggest coffee drinkers are old gray-haired men. They're not all old but the 3 most frequent visitors to the coffee pot are grandpas. One of them has a wandering eye (not in the cheatin' kind of way) and one calls me ma'am. It's awkward for me to have an old guy call me ma'am, especially when I'm a LT! It might be different if I were a colonel. Oh well, I guess it's the one person I get a shred of respect from over there. I guess I should just appreciate it.

I'm just waiting for Weekend Update to start on SNL so I can leave and get something done today...

Is it okay if what??

I was happily awakened at 5:15 this morning by Yagopuchae. I always like to get a call from him but here's what really made my day:

Yagopuchae: "...Umm, honey... would it be okay if your dad and I had nicknames for each other??"
Waldo: "What?"

It seems Yagopuchae and my dad have been emailing and gave each other a nickname. And he wonders why I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to contact my dad without me being there.

Cleaning Up

I was cleaning up my room and found an envelope stuffed full of old bills and papers. I went through it and found some cute pictures of Sam but also some memories of an ex. There were a couple cards, a letter, and a picture of the three of us. It seems so long ago and I feel so detatched from it all. I didn't even think twice about tearing everything up and throwing it away. No sadness, I just looked at the picture and wondered if we ever REALLY had fun together. I'm still trying to understand why I was so upset last December. What was I going through that I thought he was the answer?? We were sooo not right for each other. Thank goodness that didn't work out or I never would have gotten involved with Yagopuchae, who I lu-uv! :^)

Other People's Kids

I am going to have to accept the fact that I have an exceptional child and forgive all the other annoying children in the world. I can only hope Sam remains strong and doesn't spiral downward to their level. Although sounding judgmental I don't blame parents. I really think a parent can only take small credit for a kid's behavior, they happen to be little individuals from the time they are born. I happen to have been extremely lucky for some unknown reason. Maybe God just knew I couldn't handle a challenging kid.

Skunk Pee

Thank you to my pungent coffee-scented urine for reminding me to drink more water. Thanks for stinking up the stall at work so I rush out (after a quick hand wash) hoping no one will associate me with it. I don't have enough problems forgetting deodorant.

Smrty

I have been brilliant lately! Tuesday I came to work without my BDU top, I'm still not sure how I managed that. I had to go back home and finish dressing myself, duh. Then, yesterday I forgot to put on deodorant. I thought I felt a little sticky but I kept putting my nose in my shirt and it smelled okay to me. But when I changed in to my pajamas last night and got my nose closer it was clear I'd forgotten it.

Today I'm all right but I didn't iron my uniform...

Contest

Coworker A just asked Coworker B, "So, are you going to break my record from last night? I didn't get out of here until after 8:00." Earlier Coworker B made a big point of telling the boss at 8:00 am of all the stuff he'd worked on since he came in before anyone else. (Apparently, he thinks 7:06 is the crack of dawn.) He says, "I came in to work on something and the phone's been ringing off the hook since I got here." Unfortunately, I came in at 7:30 (I was the second one in) and hadn't heard the phone ring at all. These guys are so interested in patting themselves on the back it's disgusting.

They're all my heroes, I can't wait til I become an ass.

Meeting with Father

I made an appt today to talk to my priest because I'm too lazy to go on the weekends. I told him that I'd, "had an intimate relationship before marriage." (big surprise to him since he remembers Sam) He said a few things including I, "need to love myself." I'm know I gave him a puzzled look because I wasn't sure if he was talking about masturbation! I realize that's not what he was talking about but it was my first reaction upon hearing I needed to love myself.

Also, during the course of our discussion he used the word "bastards" (not in relation to Sam, of course) and said Hell in a cussing kind of way. He has a Boston accent too which makes the whole thing even more interesting.

Bright Idea

Tell me who thinks this is a good idea. Let's put Jen in charge of putting together a briefing that the one star is going to give to a US Ambassador. These people have met me and seen my briefings... why on earth did I get this assignment?? I think someone's out to humiliate the general.

Lazy Saturday

Today is gray and positively dreary outside. I had great plans for today but now see none of it is going to happen. I need to talk to Father Passamonti but don't have the energy. I'm still sleepy without reason, all I can think is it must still be jetlag. Jetlag.

I see the church from my window and it looks beautiful to me even if it really isn't. It mostly has a stone facade but also has tudor styling that doesn't seem to match. Part of the roof has been redone and you can clearly tell the new tiles from the old... But the lights are on inside showing through the stained glass windows and it makes me want to go inside.

Sam has been sick today but that too seems to have passed. I need to wash the towels I used to clean up after him but dread the trek downstairs to the washer.

I miss my boyfriend and want to call him again but shouldn't. I talked to him this morning and don't have anything new to report plus I want to talk to him before I go to sleep.

I really need to finish sorting laundry and do some wash...

Back to Normal

I just got back today and everything seems to be back to normal. Sam's in the tub playing and I actually got a number from netflix and the problem should be fixed.

Christmas and New Year's went very well. I had a great time with my family and then met Yago's family. I don't think anything could have gone better. My plants even seem to be clinging to life. Herr Converso said kein problem about the Kehrwoche and everything. Only one thing wrong, stupid SOS.

I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I love it, can't wait to get in bed and continue reading it. I have tons of straightening up to do first though.

I start my new office tomorrow so I should have more to write then. Better get cracking so I can go to bed!

Netflix Can Kiss My BUTT!

Netflix is the DEVIL. I hate them. I bought a one year subscription for my parents and for some reason something got f-bombed up and they credited the subsciption to my already existing account instead of sending it to my parents. I've emailed them three times and they haven't fixed it, they keep telling me to transfer it. Problem is there aren't any links to transfer it and I've scoured the frickin' website. There's no place I've found where I can fix their mistake. Add to that they don't have a phone number and I'm ready to beat someone. I HATE NETFLIX!!! I can't even cancel the whole thing, the gift subscription plus MY normal subscription because you have to return the DVDs within 7 days and I'm on leave right now.

Angry angry angry.

Bathing

My sister and brother-in-law were talking about baths. They told me a couple days ago that they always shower together (I didn't ask for these kinds of details). During the discussion about baths they were talking about how often they get a chance to bathe together. I interjected with surprise that they can take baths together. Laurie went back to the shower discussion and Brian said, "Well at least you don't get sores on your feet in the shower. Showers don't squeak either." It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my feet, thanks Yagopuchae.

Christmas Vacation

We've been hanging out with my parents, sister, bro-in-law, niece and nephew in FL. It's been fun but I can't seem to get over my jet lag, I'm always tired. It'll pass just in time to go back to Germany. I'm eating like a maniac, I had 3 Krispy Kremes for breakfast. I think that's what the holidays are about though. January is for promising to do better and get more exercise. I have full intentions of hitting the gym regularly once I start my new job. We'll see if my boss is agreeable, I should be able to work something out though.

Tonight's Christmas Eve and we still haven't wrapped the presents. Need to get started or else we'll be up all night. Maybe after some coffee, I'm pooped.

I took Sam to the ER last night because he has another ear infection. They said the scar tissue is so bad on one of his eardrums from the tubes that it should be monitored to prevent hearing loss. That's quite a run-on sentence and doesn't make much sense but I know what I mean. He's doing better now though.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

Children's Christmas Party

The Children's Christmas Party was Sunday afternoon so I cut my weekend short with Yagopuchae so Sam and I could go. I missed it last year and was advised to always volunteer for those things so that I would be given the day off from work. As soon as they started sending stuff out about the party I volunteered to be one of Santa's helpers. I thought I was going to have to wear a costume so I didn't put much thought in to my wardrobe. Turns out the only costume was a Santa hat, luckily I was wearing my Christmas Butterfly pin. Duh.

I showed up an hour early and ran in to an old aquaintance (Emily, she's the only girl I know that's been up close and personal with an uncircumcised penis) that I had gone to basic training and DLI with. We never hung out at DLI or when we ran in to each other several times in the desert. Now we're both here but she's not active duty anymore and we both have kids. We spent like an hour talking, it was funny because she's kind of ditzy and I totally can't relate. Everyone was supposed to bring a dish to pass, I completely spaced it and she forgot to put the chicken in her Chicken Surprise dish. Too funny. I haven't gone to mass in forever and didn't even enroll Sam in CCD this year and she was like, "Don't worry about it, if it weren't for Dave you wouldn't ever see me at mass." Sam's favorite part was getting his face painted with a spider on one cheek and a snake on the other.

School Days

Here's my random story of the day.

I take Sam to the bus stop every morning when I work mids and every day off when I work days. We walk and discuss what he's going to do at school that day, what his favorite part of the weekend was...whatever. Many mornings (like this morning) he'll spray a web and we'll run holding hands pretending we're swinging on his web. I cherish this time with him and wait at the stop until the bus gets there. We look at stars and play games with the cars passing by. Once he boards the bus I wait, watching where his sits and who he's talking to. As the bus pulls away I wave to him and he NEVER sees me. I still wave every morning in hopes he'll see me and wave back.

Congratulations

I've only got a minute b/c I'm on my way to Yago's house for the weekend. I just wanted to tell Abbyabbitha congratulations.

Must Share

I just read a help desk ticket and I have to share this with everyone.

The Col requests a new mouse. She keeps cleaning her mouse balls but it still acts erratic.

HAHAHA!! That's too funny and there isn't anyone to share it with here.

Diego Torres

I bought a Diego Torres cd when I was in Argentina almost two years ago and it's one of my favorites. As you can probably guess, it's all in Spanish. Diego is from Argentina and I think got his start as a soap star. Anyway, Sam really likes the cd too. He's never seen what Diego looks like but he's been telling me lately that he thinks Diego looks like Bayardo's dad. Too funny.

Pansies

I'm entirely too pleased with myself. Apparently, there are a bunch of slots open at SERE (survival school) for all the services. All the guys are talking about how they don't want to go but they could sign up the guys they don't like. None of them have ever been or ever want to go. I honestly thought the whole thing was fun. Mind you, these guys are Army Rangers and Marines that are at least majors and afraid of SERE school. Too funny, they're a bunch of pansies. SrA Adsit went and had fun.

More Explaining

Last night while shopping on post for some Christmas decorations Sam told me he wanted to celebrate Hannakah. He loves the whole menorah thing so we bought a menorah-like thing. He was whining about, "Why don't we ever get to celebrate Hannukah or Kwaanza?" This is a good conversation to have in the middle of the PX. "Well Sam, people who celebrate Hannukah don't believe in Jesus." And Kwaanza, what the heck? I don't even know what Kwaanza celebrates, just know it originates in Africa. "We're Catholic honey, we celebrate Christmas."

Fast forward half and hour and we're in the commissary produce aisle. "Mommy, what does Cath-o-lic mean?" Jeezy Creezy. (don't call me jeezy creezy) "It's our religion." Please stop.

I suppose I should be interested in Saddam's trial but I'm really not. Of course, he's going to be found guilty. I don't really care, the whole thing seems a little ridiculous to me. Even with the murders and security problems. Is anything being accomplished by murdering defense lawyers, no. Whatever.

Bellyache

Why can't I stop eating?? I am stuffed right now. I don't know what happened to me but I've been shoveling the food in lately like I thought it was all going to disappear. It's disgusting. Nuts, everywhere mixed nuts. I can't stop eating them and peanut M&Ms, forget it. Can't pass them at the shoppette or commissary without buying them.

I am hereby giving up all the crappy food that I've been eating. I realize nuts are good for you but not when you eat an entire container in a day. Ugh.

Happy at Work?

I have high hopes for tonight. I even got here two minutes early, unusual for me. Everyone seems to be in a good mood down here and someone brought in two bags of peanut M&Ms. Danger! Danger! My goodness, I love those things and I always rationalize that they're not that bad for me because they have nuts in them. I'm going to do some Pashto, read some of my Money magazine and my Larry the Cable Guy book. I slept forever today and feel good. We'll see what I report in about eight hours.

My analyst (one that I like) is even talking about switching nights with the sleeping wonder of an analyst so that we can work together. He likes me. (Not likes me, likes me. Just likes me. I shouldn't flatter myself too much considering who the other Watch Officers are.)

Sam was mooching my corned beef hash, eggs and toast tonight. He usually won't touch the hash so I didn't mind sharing until he was all, "Can I have more?" Dude, this is my breakfast. Shouldn't someone be in charge of feeding you? Oh, wait a minute.

I got up today to find lots of emails, that always makes me happy.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far...

Tonight I was trying to put Sam to bed and he fell down the stairs. Not completely down the stairs but he tumbled down a few of them. Last week at Yagopuchae's I completely wiped out on the stairs and think I broke my toe cuz I'm smarty. Anyway, Sam started crying and I went to comfort him and asked where it hurt. He said his hand and his back. While I was sympathizing with him he said, "I hurt my hand and my back like you hurt your toe and your back at Mr. Yago's." Yep, the apple didn't fall far from the apple tree. Poor little fella.

More Giggling at 0300

So, I'm real tired and have been trying to nonchalantly do some yoga stretches to stay awake. No one is noticing anything... Until I fall down doing triangle pose, that is. Quick recovery is key.

Play Date

We temporarily moved our office downstairs and I'm going more insane than usual. There's no tv, no movies, nothing. I have reading material but I've been awake for nearly 21 hrs and now fear reading because it brings sleep.

Sam's friend Kean and Kean's older brother, Sean, came over today. Three young boys... nix the half dozen Sam's I'd blogged about earlier. What a noisy handful. Kean was good but Sean was more than I could handle. The boys came downstairs fighting over a police car because Sean had it first but Kean wanted to play with it. Sean actually started crying, he's in 3rd grade. Sam stood witness to the fighting brothers by just looking at them. blink blink. I almost felt bad for Sam, he had no idea what to do.

The best part was when Sean decided to announce, against his mother's best attempts to stop him, that there's no such thing as Santa Claus. "Santa is you, you buy all the presents!" He knew what he was doing because his mother was yelling for him to stop, that it wasn't very nice and he just kept going on and on. It's not even like he said it once and got it off his chest. He kept saying it over and over.

This has all just reinforced in my mind what a good boy I have. I hope he's in my bed when I get home so I can give him a hug in the cuddle zone. I don't know how I got so lucky.

Giggly

I'm entirely too giggly, even for a girl. I laugh at everything, people giving curious looks... whatever, it doesn't matter. I find things amusing in situations where I shouldn't, I shouldn't be giggling and covering my mouth during the brief. I'm a dumbass but consider it part of my charm. It gives people the impression that I'm a dingy blonde but who cares. I'm busy entertaining myself.

I'm supposed to be paying close attention to the brief right now but since my part is over I'm busy blogging. Trying my hardest to type quietly, like trying to have sex quietly. Not too good at it.

My Baby

I took Sam to the bus stop this morning with his Spider-Man gingerbreadman tucked safely in his backpack. He's the sweetest boy even when I'm not the sweetest mom. When I lose my temper he's still sweet to me.

His friend is coming over after school today and I asked if he was looking forward to playing with him. He said yes but he was looking more forward to what he was going to learn at school today. Wow. I wish I had six little Sams of various ages, maybe even a Samantha in there. When I tell him I love him more than anyone else he asks, "What about Grandma and Grandpa?" I tell him I love him more than Grandma and Grandpa and he gets really upset. I've learned to say that I love them all the same. What kid doesn't want to hear that he's loved most? My sister and I used to plead with my mom to tell us we were her favorite. "It's okay if you tell me you love me more than Laurilou and that I'm your favorite. I promise I won't tell her." Mom never fell for it, she always loved us the same. Smart lady.

Who's Grouchy?

Apparently, I've been irritating lots of people at work. But I think it's mostly been the people who annoyed me first. I'm getting tired of all these people slacking and making six figures, especially "management." What on earth do these people do all day? I ask the question and get no answer. One of the guys used to be my friend but now he pisses me off so much that I find it difficult at times to contain myself. Need to find a little restraint but I won't really see them a whole lot anymore. I'm starting mids again tomorrow and then moving to a different office. I'm going to work on finding some Zen and calming myself down.

Sorry about the slacking but I've been busy. Mids are always good for blogging, especially this month because they're taking away the tv and movies. No 2am Dr. Phil or 3am Oprah. Grrr.

Let it Snow

I awoke this morning to a thin blanket of snow covering my Christmas village. Picturesque and beautiful. I love snow but hate being cold, unfortunate because I keep losing my mittens. I'm a huge fan of Thinsulate mittens but they're hard to find.

That reminds me, it's time to dig out all the Christmas decorations and go shopping for a tree. My stupid car and plane tickets are costing me a fortune at the worst time of the year. I'm afraid I don't have much money to spare for Sammy's presents. Why does this stuff always happen at the end of the year? Last year I was PCSing and was stressed about money and life. This year my car is robbing me of happiness. I have plunked down $1,000 over the last week or so and I still have to pay labor and disposal fees for the tires.

Oops, got a little sidetracked there... Back to happy thoughts. Christmas decorations and Sam helping me make cookies. Emailing my parents for cookie recipes because I lose them every single year. Reminds me, Sam has a project to decorate a paper gingerbreadman with his family. We still have glueing to do. We got the coloring and glitter part done. It's very cute, he gave it a Spider-Man head. That's my boy!

Thanksgiving was terrific. The only thing that would have made it better is if I hadn't had to work. Even so, it was an outstanding Thanksgiving. I meant to take some pictures but forgot once I got home.

Happy Thanksgiving

This will be a very happy Thanks- giving. Yago came down last night after work and is spending the day cooking while I work. He could have gone to his friend's house and mooched free food and watched football. Instead, he did all the shopping and drove two hours to my house with a turkey and all the fixin's. I love him and how hard he works to make me happy.

I wish June 1st would hurry up and get here so I could figure out what I'm going to do. I'm spending too much time thinking about the upcoming board that will decide my fate. I have absolutely no control over it and should forget about it until Memorial Day. I know my record is mediocre at best, as I've never tried to blaze a trail. I also know slacker Lts that have won quarterly and annual awards. I've never won anything. Ever. I don't need a lot, just want Sam to go to a good school and don't want to work long hours and leave him with someone else anymore.

Sam's probably having fun today with Yago. I think I'll have to get out of here for a little bit to check on them. Have to make sure they're not doing anything too manly.

My Non-Blogging Self

I've been slacking on the blogging. I got my heat fixed so I haven't had much to gripe about lately. Mmm, hot showers.

Oh, here's something. I had the 50,000 miles maintenance done on my car. Almost €600! Holy crap. I still have to buy tires which is not easy unless I want to spent another €1,000. I called AAFES at 3:15 yesterday afternoon and the guy put me on hold and forgot about me. I tried calling back and the phone was off the hook until they closed (4:00), at which point they were no longer answering. I was so mad. I'm still kind of irritated.

Sam's learning things I'm not too happy about. He called something Chinese the other day, as if it were derrogatory. Later, he said something about Jewish. He has no idea what either mean. I asked where he learned the words and he wasn't really able to answer me. Then a few days ago he asked if I knew that all people with brown skin were from Africa. What? He's aware we're white, I liked it more when he was completely unaware that we had white skin.

Feier?

Anyone know how to say Fire! in German? Here's a picture of Zephyr trying ridiculously hard to light 33 candles. I went out and ran a few errands while she finished up. It was no easy task!

The Heat is on

Yea!! I went to the housing office this morning and they got a repairman to come out and fix my thingy-ma-bob! I'm so happy. I warmed up and celebrated with a pint of strawberry ice cream and now I'm cold again. There's no off position on the ol' genius switch. More good news, Sam gets to have a bath tonight. I have two minutes until I gotta leave for the bus stop so I'll sum up my weekend with one word... miserable. I don't know how poor people live like that. Jeezy creezy.

What Else?

I came home from work and it's freezing in my apartment. It's only about 40 degrees outside and I have no heat or hot water. I have no idea why and of course the housing office won't be open until Monday. I'll have to go to the housing office because those punks NEVER answer their phones or return calls so that'll be awesome too.

We're going to spend the next 2 1/2 days shivering and showering at the gym. What the heck? Why does this always happen to me? I'm irritated and cold.

Before and After

This is me before and after my phone call last night. Thank you.

I'm working on the holiday, kind of sucks because there isn't anything to do. I'm not really too ambitious either. I have the weekend off and I don't know what to do with myself. I'd like to get out and do something though. I guess I could try to ride bikes with Sam if the weather is okay. Maybe I could finally drive to Switzerland although I don't feel like spending the whole day lost in my car. Maybe not a good idea. We'll see.

Holy Smokes

This was the view from my computer desk this morning. The picture doesn't capture the rate at which the smoke was billowing out. It stopped as suddenly as it started. I thought at first maybe we'd gotten a new pope or something.

St. Martin's Walk

For those who don't know the story I'll explain. I didn't know the story until Sam came home and told me... St. Martin was riding through town on horseback one cold night. He saw a woman who was cold and didn't have a cloak, he cut off a piece of his cloak and gave it to her. I'm sure there's more to the story but that's all that Sam has explained to me.

Now, for some reason, German children walk through the streets with lanterns to celebrate the holiday. I went to Sam's class last week and helped him make a lantern out of an old Gatorade bottle and tissue paper. We all met at the school this evening and they handed out glow sticks to put in the "lanterns." Then we walked the streets behind someone on horseback playing the part of St. Martin. Sam was so preoccupied with the ribs I had promised we didn't even stay for the re-enactment. I was more disappointed than he was that we missed it. I don't understand where the lanterns fit in to the story!

It was pretty interesting and hopefully next year we'll stay for the whole thing and I'll figure out what it's all about. Anyway, here's a picture of Sam outside of school with his lantern. I got a picture of the horse but it didn't turn out well and I was sick of the guy next to me making fun of my picture-taking abilities so I quit trying. You try taking a picture of a moving horse in the dark with a big ol' delay waiting for the flash, asswipe.

When we went for ribs (they were out) Sam and I ran in to an old aquaintance we'd met last Halloween right after we'd PCSed. I was very surprised he remembered us but he did, even though Sam wasn't dressed as Spider-Man tonight. It was funny.

One last thing, I made an appt to get my tail light fixed. I did accomplish something today.

He Had a Bad Day

I picked Sam up at the bus stop and the chaperone walked off the bus with him because he was crying. Details are sketchy but he fell down on the bus at one of the stops and somehow hurt his ear. The chaperone said he wasn't obeying and wasn't sitting down. Sam says he was play fighting and Sean pushed him out of his seat when Sean got off the bus. He cried all the way home, I carried him and tried to soothe him.

He told me Thomas said I wasn't his friend. I only loved him, I wasn't his friend. I reassured him I am also his friend. (Even though any good parenting book will tell you not to be your child's friend.) Today was Spencer's last day, "He's moving back to America." Sean pushed him down.

Reminds me that life isn't easy just because you're 5 and don't have to pay bills or work for a difficult boss.

Tonight we're going to walk with his lantern for St. Martin's Day and then go for ribs. He's so excited about ribs I think it diminished the wear of the day. $9.95 is a small price to pay for that.

Killing Time

I have wasted my entire day here. I did learn how to say small she donkey in Pashto so maybe it wasn't all a waste. Not sure if I'm pronouncing it right though. Why would you put small she donkey on page 8? Wouldn't a thousand other words come in handy before that one, like maybe the numbers?

My man is far away and I've just been sitting staring at Outlook for hours. Lucky for me and unfortunate for him, he has jet lag and was up emailing me all night long. I can't wait until he comes back. We're supposed to get together over New Year's, can't wait for that either. It will surely be better than the last time I made plans.

Hurry back.

March of the Penguins

I really wanted to take Sam to see this movie but of course it's only showing two days and I have to work. It looks so cute.

At least I'm back on days. No more working with the incredible sleeping analyst. Well, not until December anyway. Trying to figure out what to do with myself for the next 8 hrs. There's nothing going on here. I should work some more on the Pashto but I can't figure out the alphabet and it's ticking me off. My old roommate told me that once you learn the alphabet it's easy. She had stuff hanging on the walls written in Farsi and it blew my mind that she could read it. I just need to hear the sound and see the character that goes with it but the online course doesn't do that. I bought a couple books but they aren't talking books so it's not really helping.

Trying not to think of my upcoming board that will decide my fate. My OPR that was due in June still isn't done so I don't have much faith that my supervisor will have my PRF ready in time. I'm going to be one broke person on Sep 29th. I should be thinking about where I'm going to go, FL or NE? What am I going to do to earn a living? I have no idea. In FL I'd probably work on being a Spanish teacher and in NE I'd probably try to get a job as a contractor again. I hated being a contractor though. Maybe I could get a job working for my brother-in-law at Long John's Silver. That way I could smuggle out some fish for my boy.

That reminds me, what am I going to make for dinner? I forgot to get anything out of the freezer. Fish sticks probably.

Wondie Undie

I went to Yago's house for the first time Thursday night. It was a surprise, as all my coworkers now know because I can keep my mouth shut almost as well as he can. I was expecting tv tray end tables and mismatched furniture. Nope, he's way ahead of me. (I don't even have the tv trays.) I really don't know what he's doing with a slug like me but whatever. I guess I'm okay with a guy that has a nice, clean, well-furnished house. So far the worst I've seen from him is he salts his cantaloupe, eww.

He's back in the states now going through a difficult time, I hope he's doing okay.

adontwana

Schmitty had his first exposure to a religious cult last Wed night. A friend from his soccer team invited him to A W A N A and I said sure. We got there and every kid had a little red vest with patches and gems and a matching bible bag. You have to complete tasks to earn patches, similar to scouts. I can only sum up the 1 1/2 hours as eye opening. I got to see small children stand up and recite bible verses, pledge allegiance to the bible (not kidding, one kid stands with the bible and the others put a hand their heart and say, "I pledge allegiance to the bible..."), chant something to the ADONTWANA flag. That's right, they have a flag. Before we left Schmitty wanted to know how to get a red vest like everyone else. Eek, avoid answering.

The best part was when I saw the little boy getting a page in his book signed off stating he brought a friend (Schmitty). My little buckaroo was nothing more than a patch on a vest.

I'm not opposed to religion in my boy's life. I want him to know about religion and catholicism. We go to mass, he goes to CCD and we always stop and say hello to Father Passamonti. But...I don't want Schmitty mindlessly memorizing bible verses without knowing what any of it means. He needs to question things, not blindly follow. Listening to a 6-yr-old recite a verse creeps me out.

Getting My Butt Kicked

So tonight I'm getting my butt kicked at work with this stupid exercise. I have a ton to do which is very unusual working nights. Luckily, I'm off for a couple days and then the exercise should be almost over.

I have finally found a redeeming quality in our Director. He knows who Eddie Izzard is and recognized him on my background. Quite shocked was I. (A little Yoda grammar for ya.)

I'm tired and grouchy so I don't have much to write. I think I'm going to miss Phil and Oprah this morning.

Duh...

All afternoon I've been tiptoeing around my apartment because I fell asleep on the couch this morning and had a dream that Zephyr came home. I saw her bedroom door closed when I woke up and assumed she was napping. Finally, an hour before she gets home, I got the nerve to push her door open a little and saw she's not here. I could have had the music blaring and vacuuming all afternoon. I'm a dummy.

I have to work tonight and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I don't know who my analyst is but I know who I don't want it to be. It's my last mid for a while though. Saturday I start working days until December. That means I'll be passed out in a chair everynight by 9:00. Also means I won't see The Daily Show for a month. It's on at 11:30 and that's way too late when you have to get up at 4:00.

Time to do some more laundry... I gave Sam one of my famous haircuts yesterday. He took it like a man.

Happy Halloween

It's Batman and Robin! I checked my mail again today right before it closed and my package was in! So happy. It was very amusing walking around and Sam loved it. My favorite part was getting gas at the Shoppette afterward and buying a six pack.

As I was putting on my costume Sam decided he wanted to be Robin and I could be Batman. I had to talk up his utility belt and the design of his cape. We decided being Batman was better. The best Halloween in my whole life.

Goals for the Day

1. Wash my bedding.
2. Organize Sam's bookshelf.
3. Clean Sam's room.
4. Clean my room (fat chance).
5. Clean floors.
6. File paperwork at CYS.
7. Make pork tenderloin for dinner.
8. Already forgot what I was going to buy at PXtra. Drawing pad for Sam and something else...
9. Get mail and scream that my costume didn't get here in time.
10. Call Volvo and make an appt for service.
11. Order tires at AAFES before one of them blows out on the Autobahn.
12. Peel myself away from email.
13. Perform some sort of exercise today.

Almost noon and haven't managed to complete a task yet. I blame #12.

Where's Mickity?

Mickity, I've been looking all over for you. I'm checking your blog, my blog, yago's blog about every 20 mins waiting for you. Where's the sharp humor and bitter anger? How am I supposed to get through my shift?

I called Sammy to say goodnight but he was already asleep. Zephyr woke him and he kind of grumbled through the conversation but managed to mumble, "I love you, too," a couple times. I bought him some books online and am pretty excited to read them with him later tonight.

While I was getting ready for work yesterday afternoon he came and sat in the bathroom. I finished and turned out the light as I went in to my bedroom. I saw him still sitting in the bathroom alone and went back to ask what he was doing. "I'm trying to talk to God in some peace and quiet. But you're in here now." Hmmm, should I chastise his tone? No, I'm too curious. "Oh, what are you saying to God? ...or is it private?" "It's private." "Okay..."

Yagopuchae is going to get up early this morning and driving two hours to take Sam to his soccer game. I am quite astonished, don't know what to make of it. Makes me think of my whiny ex that agreed to take Sam to the POW/MIA ceremony while I stood in the formation. He bailed at the last minute because it was hot outside. Mickity saved my bacon on that one, and missed the ceremony due to an ill-timed potty break. I think I'll keep the new man around as long as he wants to stay.

Annoyed, Again

I'm completely pissed off with a red face trying to grit my teeth and keep my mouth shut. The analyst has been f-bombing with me the last two days. If he doesn't get a reaction maybe he'll get bored and stop. I'm really trying to keep it together and not just curse him out Mickity-style. Maybe I could make a man cry, that'd be awesome.

He called me fat earlier, which went over my head until he pointed it out to me. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying and then he said, "That was mean, I don't know why I've been so mean to you lately." Whatever, Tubby. Then he has made a point of talking through Phil and Oprah the last two days just to annoy me. Oprah had stuff on about the environment today and he just kept saying, "So I guess this is Bush's fault. (insert eye roll) Yeah, it's all the rich countries. We need more gov't because they always fix complicated problems." Shut up! No one said we need the gov't to subsidize hybrid autos. She's talking about switching light bulbs you stupid f-bomb.

WIC commercial comes on, one of his favorite subjects. He asks, "Did you use that?"
"Yes, I did. I was unemployed at the time but I know what you think about it."
"How do you know what I think?" he asked.
"Because I've listened to your comments every time the commercial runs about gov't handouts and how we should just keep giving stuff away. Make it a lottery."
"Wow, you must think I'm ignorant and mean."
"I don't think you're mean," was my answer.

He also doesn't think we as humans contribute in any way to global warming. In fact, there's no such thing as global warming. You're stupid if you think that. It's God's doing. We have nothing to do with the whole thing, pollutants don't exist. Brilliant.

Waiting for the Mail

I still haven't received my Robin costume, this doesn't look good. I have tomorrow and Monday since the mail room isn't open on weekends. If it gets here after Halloween what am I going to do with a $50 Robin costume?

A little boy on Sam's soccer team gave him a birthday card today. It was cute, homemade with candy taped to it. I was talking to the mom and she asked if Sam could go to AWANIS (KWANIS or whatever it is) with Jacob. She said they encourage the kids to bring their friends and Jacob said Sam is his best friend. I'm not sure how I feel about it, with no knowledge of it I think they're trying to steal my baby from the Catholic church and Father Passamonti. Sam has religion and religious education, although I have really slacked since I started mids in July (July for Okies). I said yes before I thought about it... but what harm could really be done? I haven't had to field any tough questions about the Holy Spirit or Jesus in a couple months.

Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep suddenly and in an odd position. My eyebrows were screwed up all night. I tried to gel them and everything but nothing helped. I just thought it was funny when I was applying hair gel to my eyebrows yesterday.

Enjoying The Daily Show now. Thanks to Mistress for finally putting a new post on her blog.

SO WRONG

This is what's wrong with working mids. You wander the net all night and find things like this.

Instructions for Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others and
-Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Boring for a blog entry, I know. I just thought it was interesting and I wanted to look at it some more.

Happy Birthday

Sam had his birthday and it went pretty well. I drove him to school and we took his chocolate cupcakes in for the class. I let Sammy carry them part of the way himself and was a bit nervous. He was so excited I was afraid he was going to trip and fall on them. When he came home Yagopuchae and I met him at the bus stop to walk him home. When we got home he opened his gifts, a ridiculous amount thanks to Zephyr, Jason, Grandma and Grandpa, and me. Then, my parents called to wish him Happy Birthday and we all went bowling. He had fun and "helped" everyone improve their game. Then we went home and had birthday cake after a moving rendition of "The Birthday Song."

Yago spent a couple nights on my couch, we had a good time. He even put together my computer desk. Now I don't have that to trip over anymore, bummer. He went home today but will be back on Saturday so I have that to look forward to. We have so much fun, unless I'm being presumptuous again. Maybe it's just me having fun... well, Sam and me.

Can't wait until Mickity moves from the butthole, then maybe she can come visit me. Frohlingsfest. Yea.

See...

See, it's not bad. Me likey.

Uneventful Day

I think I have Sam's birthday taken care of. Zephyr and I took turns distracting Sam at the CX. It was kind of funny. It's so much easier doing stuff like that when you have another adult. The plan, as it stands now, is to have Sam come home from school, open his presents, call my parents and go bowling. Mmm, dinner at the bowling alley.

I have so much to do around my apartment it's not even funny. I'm living in complete filth and squalor, very disgusting. I have to do Kehrwoche during my dinner break and no fooling around tonight.

So here's an interesting conversation Sam and I had while I was putting on my makeup this afternoon:
"What's that, Mommy?"
"Lip gloss."
"I want some lip gloss."
"Sorry, honey. Boys don't wear lip gloss. ...Unless they're a boy like Eddie Izzard."
"I want to be like Eddie Izzard when I grow up so I can wear lip gloss."
"Hmmm. Really?"
"Yeah, I just have to be funny like Eddie Izzard. Tell me some of his jokes."
"I can't remember any of them right now."
Zephyr told me she overheard the "Eddie Izzard conversation" and laughed at me.

More Procrastination

Sammy's birthday is Tuesday and I still haven't bought his birthday present. I HAVE to go to Robinson Barracks tomorrow and pick something up. I takes forever to drive over there so I'll have to get up VERY early, like noon or something.

I ordered a Robin costume online and am anxiously waiting its arrival, Sammy will be so surprised. He'll LOVE it! And even if he doesn't, I can't wait to show up at Gen Verbeck's house dressed as Robin.

My Boyfriend

My boyfriend spent the last couple days with me but left late this afternoon. As soon as I saw him turn from view on the Autobahn I missed him. I wanted to follow him home. Very crazy and I'm trying to put some sense to it before I go insane.

I have to keep reminding myself that it's impossible to like someone this much after dating a month. You can't know someone that well after such a short period of time. It takes much longer to peel away the different layers of a person, like peeling an onion. Nonetheless, it's so much fun hanging out with him. I don't remember liking anyone I've dated this much. Crazy crazy, can't stop thinking about him.

Sam likes him a lot too which is comforting and alarming at the same time. Quit seeming so perfect so that when you leave I don't have to try to explain it to Sam. You fit too well. Sam called you family today and I ignored it, should I have corrected him? I don't know. Maybe you won't leave...

For Mickity

Three screen names that you have had: What do I look like, a geek? I've had two: Waldo and ysk.

Three things you like about yourself: I'm goofy, independent and liberal.

Three things you don't like about yourself: I'm impatient, at times quick to anger and gossip too much.

Three parts of your heritage: Polish, Irish and German

Three things that scare you: Empty nest syndrome, childhood cancer and being homeless

Three of your everyday essentials: Coffee, hug and kiss

Three things you are wearing right now: Pink sweatpants with huge wine stains on them, Nebraska Special Olympics tshirt my baby's daddy bought me in 1994, and underused running shoes

Three of your favorite songs: Fly Me Courageous, The Gambler and Rhinestone Cowboy

Three things I want in a relationship: Honesty, security, laughter

Two truths and a lie: I wouldn't change my past for anything, I love living in Europe and I think I have a good life.

Three things you can't do without: Magazines, TV, my boy

Three places you want to go on vacation: Russia, India, Patagonia

Three things you just can't do: Fight, see something through to fruition, put together my computer desk

Three kids' names: Sam, Katelyn, Connor

Three things you want to do before you die: Buy a house in a foreign country, visit every continent, see my grandchildren graduate

Three Celeb crushes: George Clooney, Anderson Cooper (I love that guy too!), and I think Eddie Izzard... is that wrong?

Three of your favorite musicians: Madonna, Robert Smith, Kenny Rogers

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: Shoulders, back and pecs

Three of your favorite hobbies: traveling, reading, hobbies are overrated

Three things you want to do really badly now: Sleep for 12 hours straight, kiss my boyfriend, visit a friend

Three careers you're considering/you've considered: Doctor, teacher, lawyer

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: I hate romance novels, I have trouble expressing myself, I like to drink beer.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: I gossip, I like dressing up, I have too many pairs of shoes.

Mistressofmoomoo and Yago, care to give it a try?

Impulse Shopping

I bet you think I was online again or something, but no. I was in the commissary. I didn't buy too many candy bars or potato chips either. I went with the notion of buying some meat the wasn't frozen so I could cook dinner and pick up some 2% for Zephyr. I left with half a cart full of fresh vegetables, fruits, cheese. The problem is that I bought the stuff knowing that I'm going to be working Fri, Sat, Sun night and won't be able to use the stuff until at least Monday. I was in a mood to cook some killer dinners and bake pies. When's that supposed to happen? My produce will be wilty by the time the mood strikes me again and I have time off. The other option is to make all of it tomorrow... probably not going to happen. One more thing, I keep forgetting that I can't really cook very well.

Some People Never Change

I got an email from Merle tonight, he pi$$es me off sometimes. He sends me an email about Force Shaping all informative-like. As several of you know, he works at AFPC (where they do AF assignments) and by his account is worshipped there. Back to the subject. He sent an email saying he heard the AF is looking to get rid of up to 70% of the 2002 and 2003 year group. He writes to tell me to make sure I get a #1 of 5 or #2 of 10 in my OPR. Gee, why didn't I think of that? The icing on the cake is he starts the email with, "Priors with over 15 years are in the clear." Now guess who has 15 and who doesn't. Nope, no clues. The attachment, of course, has my name in it. What is wrong with this guy? Is he that insensitive? That stupid? Does he try to irritate me?

Thinking about it reminds me of Mickity laughing and telling me eventually I'll have to start saying Stupid Jen instead of Stupid Merle. I concede, Stupid Jen. (But I'm still keeping Stupid Merle.)

Thank Goodness

Thank goodness I'm feeling better today. I'm happy because I'm not bent over groaning wishing I could just cry... I'll leave that to a broken-hearted Marine. :^)

I'm checking out ski rental properties. I want to take Sam skiing so bad but with work and school to schedule around it's difficult. Plus, I really want to take lessons so I don't seriously injure myself and I can't unless he's in a week long ski class. I don't think the school would like me to pull him out for a week so I could get some snowboarding lessons. It's so much fun and I'm SOOOO bad at it! Who needs pride on a bunny slope? My favorite moment last winter was when a little girl stopped and asked if I was okay after I wiped out real hard. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just going to lay here for a few minutes though. Thank you." Beer and hot cocoa by a crackling fire after a day full of screaming like a little girl, you can't beat that.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Daily Show, my analyst does not. He's sitting with headsets on moaning. Whatever, dude.

Update of How My Shift Is Going

I damn near got cornered in to another, what's the word? ...date? The circus will be in town and guess who pulls out the calendar and tells me what days he has available to go with me. Eeeek. I dodged it though.

Then there was a phone call for the Marine with PBF. A man. We giggled and speculated. Talked about all the things I should have filled him in on while I had the chance. Immediately afterward I got a call from Yagopuchae. We were only on the phone a few minutes but after I hung up Greg was all, "Do you have a man, too?"
"Maybe."
"Who? It couldn't be Huff, he's gone."
Giggle.
"Where does he work?"
"Are we going to play 20 questions now?"
Subject change.

I hurt and feel nauseous. I can't take more Tylenol for another two hours. Need pity. So far I have drunk 1.5 liters of water this evening and my urine is still brown. Ew.

Ignore It and It'll Go Away

My personal edict for life didn't work out so well for this week. Strange, it got me through many things including a one-yr Exec stint.

Last week I had a little pinch in my left side that came and went. Hmm. I'll just ignore it and take Motrin. Hmm, I've been taking Motrin several times a day for a few days now. No worries, I'll just take more. By Friday night I was in some pain that the Motrin and Tylenol weren't combating as effectively. Saturday afternoon I was completely incapacitated with pain in my lower back. I spent the day writhing in my bed taking every over-the-counter pill I had in the house. I called my mom whining and she told me to go get some cranberry juice because it sounded like an infection. She also wanted me to go to a German hospital, a step I was not willing to take.

Sunday, I had the cold sweats but had a dinner engagement I could not miss. I took a bunch of Tylenol and went to dinner and drank a couple beers and had some more Tylenol. Spent the night shivering and burning up. Monday morning I quit taking Tylenol so that when I went to the doctor I would have all my symptoms.

Sick call is where my misery really starts. I got little sleep and left my apartment right after Sam got on the bus at 0730. I signed in at 0800 and sat there for an hour before the triage nurse saw me. I was still feeling okay at this point. I see the triage nurse and she orders a urine specimen. Then I get to sit at the lab and wait and wait. I get that taken care of and return to the waiting room to be seen by a doctor. Oprah has come and gone. Finally, I get to see a German doctor who talks to me for a few mins and proceeds to start thumping on my back... you know, because I'm complaining of back pain. I let out a mighty scream when she hits my left side. She goes to order a urinanalysis and I tell her I've already been to the lab. "Oh, let's see if the results are in. Oh my, you were right. This isn't normal back pain, you've got all kinds of things in your urine." That's always good news. "You've got a kidney infection." By this time the pain has returned and I'm miserable. I asked how you get a kidney infection and she started listing all sorts of things. Apparently, a light bulb went off when she was talking about young women who first become sexually active (no bulb yet) because there's a lot of irritation and swelling (ding!). It was funny because it must have shown on my face. As soon as she said that and saw my face she ordered a pregnancy test! Too funny. She also decided she needed to have blood drawn so she could adjust the dosage of antibiotics.

Back to the lab to sit and wait. Got my blood drawn. Back to the waiting room to sit and wait for results. By this time, I'm shivering and in significant pain. I get some Army Specialist (that's his rank, he wasn't a specialist in medicine) to pull the results after about 25 mins and they're still not in. I beg him to do something so I can get out of the purgatory waiting room. He takes me back to see the dr and she said my blood count was so high that it indicated the infection wasn't isolated to the kidney anymore, it was in my blood stream. She gave me 2 days worth of quarters (I'm at work anyway) and gave me a prescription and said I needed a follow up on Friday. I stopped by the appt desk and they said I'd have to come in for sick call Friday, there weren't any appts. Aargh! Please, I work mids from 1730 to 0600 and I've been here over 4 hrs when I should be sleeping. They took down my info and I have nothing but complete confidence I'll get a phone call Friday with an appt. Yeah, right.

Now off to the pharmacy to sit and wait and try not to cry in front of everyone while the pharmacy techs f*ck around when I'm standing at the window. Sit and wait, sit and wait. Get my medicine get in my car and let out a big sob because it hurts so bad.

Little Sam was such a good little guy though. He kept rubbing my back for me, I didn't tell him it had no effect. I just let his little hand move up and down my back, there's something about his innocent face and little hand rubbing me. He'd run and get me tissues and stuff too. Such a sweet boy that I don't deserve.

One More Thing

Real quick, before I go. I almost forgot to announce that dumb me has accidentally made a date with the 50 yr old, sleepin' on duty, porn watchin' analyst. So not funny. Now I'm squirming trying to figure a graceful way out of it. Yago keeps telling me there is no graceful way with this guy. He's right but I can't bring myself to be an ass when I work alone with him all the time. Mickity would have several gentle solutions if she were in my situation...

New Babies

A couple of people at work have new baby girls and I'm trying to shop online for little welcome home gifts. I've got over $200 of merchandise in the shopping cart right now. What's wrong with me? Everything is sooo cute! I love babies.

Okay, my warm fuzzy feeling is gone. A couple of Republicans trashed it with their loud obnoxious conversation. Why the heck can't everyone be as smart as Mickity and me? It's so frustrating when people have opposing views and then blab over the news I'm trying to watch. (Which was incidentally doing a little Bush bashing.)

Yea, bird flu just arrived in Europe. Can't wait to get me some of that! Stupid asian birds and their flu. I'm getting grouchy because I'm tired. That reminds me, I've sworn off the snack fund treats again. Starting tomorrow, of course.

Too Much Work for 0345

Due to my three hour lunch break, I'm pretty swamped and the reports are due in an hour. I gots me some work to do. I did manage to squeeze in a 30 min personal phone call to Mickity because her trip just sounded too interesting. :^)

Not My Fault

I am officially blaming Zephyr for my humiliation at work. Pictures of the Fest have surfaced and it's not pretty. I thought it was bad last spring... that pales in comparison. Pictures of me all over Yago are floating around the office and it's Zephyr's fault. We had made a pact not to allow any drunk making out but she bailed early on me. How embarrassing.

Church bells are a-ringing telling me it's time to go pick up my little buckaroo.

Feeling Better

I am soooo not very slick. Trying to keep my extra-curricular activities on the DL but it's not working out very well. I had drafted a personal email while the analyst was sleeping, yes sleeping. I left to refill my water and when I returned he was sitting in front of my monitor which I hadn't bothered to Ctrl+Alt+Del. He saw WAY too much personal info in the email and I came back and tried to act like nothing. Eeee. Why am I so stupid?

I feel like I haven't seen Sam in forever. I have to come in for training tomorrow so I won't be able to pick him up from the bus stop. I'd like to take him bike riding or something but I'll have to wait until my next day off which isn't until Friday.

I can't believe it's mid-October already. I'm starting to get excited about Christmas and seeing my sister, niece and nephew. Sam is terribly excited to see his Uncle. Kind of looking forward to Thanksgiving, too. ;^)

Sick and Tired

No, really. This time I'm really sick and tired, bonus is I have 9 more hours of this shift. Ugh. On the plus side, I feel like I have a buzz from the cold medicine.

I've been spending much time with Yago lately in hopes of getting tired of him. Not successful yet, he has some work to do. I think it would help immensely if he quit looking at me. A little less laughter would go a long way, also.

I keep writing and deleting, I'm very annoyed with myself. I'll reread something and think it sounds too cynical. They say the path to true happiness is to not become attached to things or people. The key is to remain detached and look within yourself for everything you need. The detachment is what gets me. Without connections and attachments can a person be truly happy? I can see giving up the material desires but I cannot forsake personal attachments. Will it make me less happy? Perhaps, but I think it will sometimes make me more happy than the detached person. How do you not attach yourself to friends, children, family or lovers? How is that Nirvana?

Getting Sick

Sam and I ran in to Marcel and his mom this afternoon. I was dressed in sweats with my hair in a nasty ponytail because I just woke up. How embarrassing. Sam's over there now playing with Marcel which makes me happy. I should take a picture of them, Marcel is a little blond cutie too. When I was walking with the mom she was saying hello to all sorts of passersby. I guess Germans are friendly when you can communicate and you've lived in the neighborhood a long time. I really need to take some classes, I know if I just took a couple classes I'd be a communicatin' mofo. I just need some grammar refresher, vocab and conjugation help. Yep, except for the vocab, grammar, conjugation and pronunciation I got it in the bag.

Last night my dad asked me if I tucked Sammy in and I told him that I had eaten dinner with a friend instead. He wrote back and asked what I'd gotten to eat and I started laughing out loud. I was so amused because I was sitting there with a box of dry cereal for dinner. I guess "dinner" may have given the wrong impression... that I sat in a restaurant and consumed a meal.

Everyone is getting sick, myself included. Sucks. I'm going to go drink some orange juice and gargle salt water.

I Hate Pilots

I am so angry after looking at my friend's website. He was a comm officer that just started pilot training and he's already turning in to one of them. (All too eagerly, I might add.) I read his journal the other day and he was disappointed that their class just got a Lt w/2 months on him so he's not the SRO anymore. He's all bummed, I hate people like that. Today's entry had a so to speak in it. I actually screamed out loud. "...The last briefer came to finish us off (so to speak)." I abhor that crap, loathe, despise, everything. I seriously don't think I can be friends with him anymore.

What on earth was I thinking for an entire year? What was Mickity thinking? "So...do you think my friend is cute?" Can I find a base to finish off the remainder of my career without pilots? I'll have to research that.

Mids + Food = Trouble

I'm working mids for the month of October and I see trouble on the horizon. I can't stop snacking when I work mids and I don't have 100 tasks to distract me from food. Last night I ate a frozen burrito, bag of potato chips and a bag of Doritos. I was close to getting a Snickers bar but managed to resist that temptation. Stupid snack bar, I should go after the person in charge of stocking it. I managed to work in some exercise last night but the gym will close Saturday. Bummer.

I was so mad last night because my 50 yr old coworker "accidentally" switched on porn and then had difficulty changing the channel. Grrr.

I got way too mad at Sam for missing the bus this morning, like I had nothing to do with it. Poor fella, then I didn't even get to see him after work because I had to come in to work an hour early. I just called him though and he forgives me. :-) "That's okay, Mommy." So sweet, everyone should have babies. (Rabbit people)

Volksfest '05

I went to the fest and actually put down 2 maβ of beer and ordered a third (don't remember how much of that one I drank), didn't think it was possible. I had such a good time but it doesn't translate well to writing. I will remember how I felt instead of actual events. There was no singing along to Emanuela or Die Perfekte Welle like last time, instead it was just enjoying the company of friends and laughter. Pure pleasure, an almost perfect evening that for some reason is making me sad right now. It's quite ridiculous but the best part was leaving. It was nice to go home and know I was taken care of. I didn't have to be the one responsible for figuring out how to get home. Someone took care of all that for me... so trivial but meant so much. And I hate him for it.

I won't get a nap today before work so I'll be up 24 hrs tonight, probably more like 26 by the time I get Sam to school. I tried to get my landlord to come on Thursday but he's coming today instead. I should finish cleaning but the tasks seem insurmountable so I'll just ignore it all, pretend it isn't there. I love living here but I honestly have no place to store things from extra sheets to my clothes and shoes. I don't know how the Europeans do it. They spend a fortune on furniture but I don't want to spend thousands on wardrobes that I won't need in two years and some f-bombing movers will ruin anyway. I don't have a place to put my weight bench and treadmill. Grrr. Whatever.

I'm not sure why I have found Moby so interesting lately. I'm not familiar with his music, really. Just stumbled across his website one night on mids and since have found him interesting. He uses big words and is very liberal. He's also vegan and I don't quite understand how someone can live like that. It makes eating complicated instead of comforting and pleasurable.

I feel a mess today, like I've completely lost control.

Work Stinks

Well, the whole NCOs working half days was resolved after I tattled but there's a whole 'nother slough of problems that are ticking me off. Number one, I am always amazed at everyone's lack of ambition. That said, I'm no ambitious Fred myself but I make most of these people look like complete slackers. Even with my incessant stupid comments and laughter. It's enough to make me want to scream, at least today.

I got an email from my friend Holmy and he might actually come over from England to visit. I wonder if he could make it in time for the Fest, he could bring Chuck too. No way, but maybe next year. Holmy at the Fest would be hilarious. I wonder how many girls he'd get to show him their boobs. He used to have an annual Halloween party that MooMoo and I would make asses of ourselves at. Hmm, maybe that was just me. I don't really recall. Stupid homemade beer all being lots of different brews that I wanted to try.

Stupid frozen chicken, too... taking until after 8:00 to cook. Now Sam gets to mow down dinner and head straight to bed. I love getting home at 6:30. I should go, I'm really crabby tonight. Mostly I'm crabby because the NCOs got screwed royally tonight. The same NCOs I tattled on, but they didn't deserve what they got today. They should have a competent SMSgt taking care of business instead of f-bombing them over.

Stolen from Moby

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Heehee. I love it! (Still laughing!)

GOL!

Here's a picture of Sam as the goalie last week. Imagine this with some Power Ranger moves and Rhino sound effects. Anyway, he got a couple saves and had a couple misses. By the way, that's how you spell goal in español. I am officially bored silly and avoiding housework and a shower.

Today's Accomplishments II

I've decided not to go to the luncheon even though I RSVPed. I'm just hoping Col Menzel doesn't give me crap. I ate a huge breakfast an hour ago and there is no way I can eat lunch in an hour, plus I really feel like laying around and working in a nap or reading. Both, yes both.

It's getting cool here and I love it. Sweaters, jackets and the smell of burning wood. I can smell wood burning right now and it's comforting... making me think of Christmas plans. I also can't wait to go skiing again. It's great watching Sam and hearing him scream with delight. Then going in and getting hot chocolate... I definitely need to retire near mountains and snow.

Now the big decisions. Do I nap on the couch or completely surrender to my bed? Shower now or later?

Today's Accomplishments

I wonder what I'll get done today. Who has money on nothing? Me. I did manage to water plants yesterday, that was my big day.

I signed up to go to luncheon that I don't want to attend anymore because it'll totally ruin my opportunity for a nap. Plus, the menu is a soul food buffet. As a yankee I can't hang. I won't be able to eat the ribs because a couple weeks ago I tried to grill ribs myself and now the thought of eating them makes me nauseous. My cooking has that effect...

I hear Sammy finishing up his Peanut Butter Captain Crunch so I'll have to finish up. Can anyone believe I'm in charge of dressing someone else? I was at the mall yesterday looking for some temporary orange hair color for Sam. I asked a couple women at a salon and they think I'm crazy for wanting orange hairspray. (I was saying orange with a German accent and making spraying motions around my head, kind of funny.) Whatever, it's for my 4-yr-old's mohawk-like hairdo. Really. I guess I'll ask my dad to send some and then see what happens when I send Sam to Kindergarten on post. Experiment=Sam ;^)

Watch Out Hollywood, Here We Come!

Sam and I filmed one of those cheesy Holiday Greetings from the troops things this afternoon. I know friends and family will be shocked but I made a complete ass of myself. At least it's only going to be shown in Tallahassee where I know 3 people. Sorry MooMoo, but I didn't send it to Omaha. I know way too many people there. When I finished the Sgt First Class was taking my mic off and kept shaking his head saying, "Why did you do that, Ma'am? Why did you do that?" Um, cuz I like to giggle and look dumb? No rehearsal, no retakes. It was awesome. When I told my mom she laughed and said at least it'll truly be Jennifer! Fo' shizzle! I just hope it really shows off my double chin, that'd be the best.

Distracted Lately

Today, I'm going to be bored and lonely because of the time zone thing and the person I've put in charge of entertaining me the last couple weeks is out of town. It's really going to suck when my entertainment returns home permanently in a couple weeks. I'm not going to have fun anymore and I'll just sit here thinking about the fun I used to have. Really ticks me off but what can a girl do? Oh yeah, nothing.

Too bad all the single CGOs stationed here are dorks. I don't mean a little on the dorky side, I mean dorks. The girls are all desperate attention whores and the guys, well... dorks.

Isn't a long entry today because I got in late and I have to go down to the brief in a few minutes.

I agree

I don't care, Mickity is right... 50 Cent is hot.

PB&Js

The last two days Sam has come home from school with his lunch largely untouched. I make him a PB&J everyday (it's his favorite) and then put in a couple other little side items like raisins, grapes, carrots, applesauce, etc. I asked him last night why he hasn't been eating his lunch and he finally (I say finally because he couldn't just cut straight to the truth, some mechanism that comes with the penis I think) told me that he found out he didn't like the bread. "It has big chunks in it I don't like," he explained. I switched to some very hearty whole grain bread last week instead of the run-of-the-mill wheat bread. I tried telling him all those chunks were good for him but he's not interested. I can either keep sending him with sandwiches he won't eat or switch to bread that isn't as good for him. Either way, I think I lost the battle.

I would just like to tell Yagopuchae that I wasn't trying to blow him off at BK this morning. I couldn't tell for sure if it was him and I didn't want to continue staring. Recall the story of waving at Maj Rudy and heading over to talk to him? Oops, not Maj Rudy.

Sleepy...

I'm tired today and I have 10 more hours of this shift, I don't know what I'm going to do. It's one of those days where I have no motivation... Sammy has a game today so I'll go pick him up for a bit even though it's illegal for me to leave my post that long. What are they going to do, fire me?

Stayed out late last night because I was enjoying myself too much to go home. Oh well, it was worth it. Weird though because I feel like I spent a night drinking when I didn't. Maybe I'm getting sick, or maybe I'm just too old to hang with the whippersnappers. ;^)

Looks like it's going to be a slow day so I'll probably make a couple more entries but now I'm off to get Pele.

Change...

This morning I got up and got a cup coffee but almost all of my mugs were dirty, only about three clean ones in the back of the cupboard. I used one that I bought right after I arrived in Stuttgart and it got me to thinking about how much has changed already.

The coffee mug reminded me of the dungy hotel room we lived in for a month after we got here. The room smelled funky when the coffee pot was on, like old grease. I used to quietly get out of bed, get some coffee and turn on the news real low so as not to wake Sam. I may have preferred to watch something else but the only English channels were CNN.

I was so sad, lonely and lost when I got here. I was depressed that I was in the land of Riesling without my friend. I was sad about a stupid boy and scared about what I was going to do about daycare in a place where I didn't know anybody. I was afraid of how all the changes would affect Sam, he was even sadder without his friends. It broke my heart to hear him talk about what Bayardo and Michael did that day when he hadn't seen them in weeks. Lt Col Turner was right though, kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

I'm just glad it has all passed. Now we have a place that feels like home and Zephyr who has been a Godsend. I will miss her when she's gone, she's funny and has some good stories... I know I'll miss having someone to talk to at the end of the day, too. Her future is completely open and I'm curious what she'll be doing in 10 years. We'll see.

Pay Attention

I was slacking last week after the soccer game but here's a picture of what my dad calls Little Pele. So cute. He has practice tonight and we'll see how it goes. The biggest challenge is getting a 4-yr-old to pay attention to the ball and stop showing off Power Ranger moves.

This morning Sam and I were walking to the bus stop and talking about how cold it was. He was bragging about his warm pockets when I noticed I didn't have pockets and my hands were cold because I was carrying a mug of coffee and my keys.
"Here, Mommy. I'll put your keys in my pocket." (sweet innocent face)
"No, sweetie. If we put them in your pocket I'll forget and you'll get on the bus with them. You'll take my keys to school."
"No, I'll remember to give them back to you." (again with the sweet innocent face)
"Okay. Here."
The bus pulls away from the curb and I chat with another mom for a while about the new AFN schedule and what shows will be on. We bid adieu and I turn to start home so I can take Zephyr to work. Hey, where are my keys? AHH. MY KEYS!! The best part is Sam and I totally saw it coming. Apparently, it's also a challenge for a 32-yr-old to pay attention to her keys.

False Alarm

This morning while trying to get to my blog it kept telling me you are not authorized for this site. I had convinced myself that some jerks were out to kill my fun but it magically started working again. (Just as the analyst had predicted...)

My laundry skilz need some work, I'm wearing mismatched socks today because I have a pile of clean laundry and a pile of dirty laundry in my bedroom. I was digging around for socks in the dark this morning and couldn't find a match. I could have gone downstairs and gotten a pair from the dryer but it's freezing down there! Plus big spiders... big as my head!

New Friends

I need to make new friends in other time zones. This sucks, I'm ready to get to slacking but Mickity, my dad and sister are all sleeping until like 1400L. Stupid time zones, all getting in the way. The majors are back so I don't even have the substitute Ops O to play with!

I was so mad this morning. I thought the Oprah season premiere was tomorrow but it was this morning so I missed all but a few minutes of the Jennifer Aniston interview. I'm ticked, been looking forward to that for a couple weeks now. Zephyr will be disappointed too because I was supposed to tape it. It's an exciting life I lead.

My poor analyst got to hear my AF Ball stories twice already today. Public opinion is I'm not very smooth when I'm trying to hit on Airmen that I used to work with. I was told I need to practice my lines in a mirror or something. I'll have to try that...

Housework

Ice Cube helping to get the housework done. He'd probably retire from the mic if he knew people like me were listening to him. ...Today was a good day, I didn't even have to use my AK. (giggle sweep giggle)

Queerbait!!

I love it! I've recently been in contact with an old friend and we had so much fun. I forgot my nickname was Queerbait until he called me that in an email. So funny! What? I can't date gay men? I hope we get to visit.

I have a love/hate relationship with This Week. Ever since I read George Stephanopolous' book he's irritated me but I love Cokie and George Will. Yes, I love George Will even though I disagree with almost every opinion he has. I get so annoyed when I watch the show but I look forward to seeing it. I'm also ticked because I missed the beginning when they had Clinton on. I'm a groupie, I just think he is a brilliant politician.

Time to climb the mountain of laundry in my bedroom, plant a flag and declare it my own. Ugh.

Big Weekend

I have much to write but I'm running low on time and ambition. Here's the abridged version.

Sammy's team lost 6-3 but it was very cute and funny. Any thoughts I had about how I hadn't done a very good job of coaching last year are gone. I was way more organized and did more research which is saying quite a bit to anyone that has ever met me. My biggest traumas were that I kicked the ball in to Sam's face during the warm up and forgot his coat, it was 49 degrees. Good mom.

Went to the ball last night and Mickity should have been there with me. I was on the dance floor getting my groove on when my flask fell out of my pocket and on to the hard wood floor. Clangy clang clang clang... Twice. Oops. Stupid alcohol. Tops in Blue performed and I saw Daroca's name and picture in the program. I got up from dinner to look for him and wound up with an armed MP taking me through the kitchen to the area backstage. While people were looking for him to bring him out it occurred to me at the last second that he might not remember me. He came out, remembered me and gave me a big hug. Very unexpected. While making small talk I asked if he was still single and he got uncomfortable, I think he thought I was hitting on him. Embarrassed Jen.

After the big evening I hopped on the shuttle bus returning to post and played a good game of Scrabble. ;^)

This Morning

I was laying in bed this morning after my alarm went off try to gather the ambition to start my day when I had some random thoughts.

I started thinking about nursing homes and why do they always smell like urine? Maybe I would take Sam to nursing homes to visit the elderly but they smell terrible. Then I remembered when I was a girl scout we used to go to the home about once a month and we were paired with an old person. Some girls got old grouches that didn't want anything to do with a gang of little girls but I got Ethel. I really liked Ethel and she was always very nice to me. Even after the scouts quit visiting I would still see Ethel on occasion and my mom was a phlebotomist so she saw Ethel fairly regularly.

I remember one Christmas Eve before going to my uncle's house my whole family stopped by the nursing home. My mother had crocheted a blanket and I gave it to her all wrapped up as present. She was very grateful but I remember feeling bad because she was spending Christmas Eve alone and we were all dressed up for a party. I don't think I ever saw her again but a few years later my mom told me died. She died with that blanket.

I hope I never get old.

Slap a Bizzo

I want to slap a bizzo I work with but I think it would make work counterproductive. That's all.

Mi nene (otra vez)

So Sammy will have his first soccer practice this afternoon. Too bad I have to work but maybe I'll be able to slip out for a few minutes. I found his little shin guards and everything! Cutie cutie.

I've realized many of my posts are about Sam... I'm going to be real short on conversation in about 13 yrs. Oh well, at least I'll still be a good dancer.

My job is boring and I want to do something else. Even if there is something to do I'm so unmotivated... I should have stuck with the jumping out of airplanes job I had lined up in the Army, mmm... infantry. :^)

I'm starving but the mess dress is tomorrow night. I'm going to celebrate Sunday with a big pan of brownies! Mickity will love that I volunteered to be an escort tomorrow night. I didn't have a date and I figured it would serve as a distraction. That way I wouldn't just be standing around wanting to puke because I felt so self-conscious. Anyway, looks like I'll get to spend the evening schlepping drinks for Generals. Why did I pay 25 Euro to attend this again?

Haircuts

Maybe I should just start cutting my own hair, then I'm the only one to blame. The haircut I got today is reminiscent of the haircut I got in Argentina where I had to get a bob when I returned to the states. Ugh. I've come to the conclusion that Europeans don't know too much about styling hair. Everyone's hairstyle appears to be circa 1992.

Stayed up too late and got up too early so now I don't feel like doing anything. If I was at work I'd put my head down on my desk but since I'm home I lay on the couch fretting over what I should be doing. Should I take a nap? How long before Sam gets home? What shoud we do when he gets home? I need to take snack-o stuff to work but then I'd have to fix my hair and put makeup on. I need to put the computer desk together so I don't have to sit on the floor hunched over the keyboard anymore.

My sister passed her final test to be a broker so congrats to her. I suggested she get a blog, too. Then she could be one of the cool kids.

I think I should throw out all the baby stuff I have stored downstairs, it's ridiculous. I always hear about people throwing it away and then becoming pregnant a month later, not that there's any chance of that... but still. I saved ALL Sam's baby clothes, bedding and decorations. Hmm.

Someone just buzzed at the door and I had a scare. I thought a coworker had ridden his bike to my house again but fortunately it was just a delivery for some neighbors. Greg doesn't need to see me hanging out in my sweats!

Frustration

A coworker has a blog and I can't find it, it is driving me INSANE. There's no way to search for it and he's been teasing me all day. Oh, Andy Rooney is on... later.

Working Another Weekend

So after yesterday's brilliant blog entry I'm scratching my head trying to figure out what I want to say for today.

I ate a nasty frozed dinner for lunch because I am trying desperately to drop a few pounds before the AF Ball. I want to squeeze in to my Mess Dress Saturday without the cool wrinkles and puckers around the hips and belly where it's so tight I can't move/breathe. Ixnay on the atfay. (Heehee, "Ixnay on the haha!") When is chubby going to be in style again? Stupid men, all thinking Giselle is hot.

I'm trying to learn Pashto, so cool. So hard. I know how to say a few words and can sometimes recognize a word but I can't figure out the alphabet. The Rosetta Stone course doesn't get bogged down with small details like teaching you the alphabet and sounds first, you jump right in. At least I'm finally trying to do it. BTW, Pashto is spoken by 25-30 million people mostly in Iran and Afghanistan. I can't wait to take a vacation and try using my new language skills. I am SO going to blend! I attached a picture of Iranian Jen at Oktoberfest, so funny.

A friend of mine, Fitz, just arrived at Laughlin for pilot training. I saw a picture of the front gate posted on his website. He's all talking about how there's nothing there but at least he'll be flying 75% of the time. He's more worried about his wife. I'm like, "Hello, you remember talking to Bitter Jen?" I told you how much Laughlin sucked on a DAILY basis. Not to mention I could easily live without ever having to communicate with another pilot! Stupid AF, being all full of pilots.

Can't believe 9/11 was four years ago. Administration has really done a number on those terrorists.

Today's Thoughts

I love pee shivers.

I hate gray hairs.

Oops I Did It Again

There's someone I work with that is obsessed with snagging a man. She knew someone a couple weeks before he deployed to CENTCOM. The whole time all she did was talk about him. He quit emailing her shortly after he left... I cannot overemphasize he was ALL she talked about for months.

Anyway, he came back and didn't call her. She ran in to him at a carwash and he didn't even stop vacuuming to talk to her. Much more to tell but she said she wanted closure and I told her a rumor I heard. He met a stewardess from the Czech Rep (similar to Check Rep) he was trying to bring her back with him. She burst in to tears, we are talking about a Marine officer... at work and in uniform. She went down to the Ops Brief crying. Mind you, she hasn't been out with him since Feb and he didn't call her after being deployed 3 or 4 months. He's obviously not head over heels in love with her, not even interested if he's not calling or emailing.

She called me at 9:30 this morning after working all night and demanded to know who told me. I refused to tell her and she hung up on me after promising to interrogate the entire base to find out who told me. She already interrogated two coworkers and is making us both look stupid. The person who told me is pissed because I was specifically told not to say anything. Stupid mouth with its impulses!

Lesson I learned: I'm an ass.

Big Day Over

Sam's home from his first day of school and he did great. I spent the day trying to email pictures to my parents.

He came home with a form for me to sign saying he was eligible for ESL classes. I thought, "Wow, he's knocking them dead with the German!" Then I kept reading and saw it was because of paperwork I filled out when he registered. I remembered marking him down as hispanic. Hahaha. Wait til the Dr. in charge of the ESL evaluations sees my little cholo!! My experiment is going swimmingly! (Experiment=Sam)

School Starts Tuesday

I can't believe Sam starts school day after tomorrow. I went to the open house for kindergartners, this is going to be more work than I anticipated. I have to sign up to bring snacks for the entire class about once a month, remember what days are gym days, pack his lunch when they're serving junk food (looks to be about four days a week), deconflict transportation schedules and stay on top of his homework (code named "activities"). I fear I'll be the one to fail kindergarten!

Still no word on when I'm supposed to change jobs or where they're going to put me. They just asked for my leave plans in Dec so that doesn't bode well.

Sidenote: Can you believe how much weight Missy Elliot has lost?

I went to downtown Stuttgart yesterday looking for the wine festival. Didn't find it, I don't know if I was told the wrong location or if it's over. I was all excited to try a bunch of German wines and didn't get any.

The other night I tried applying some self-tanning lotion, I don't know why I bother. It smells gross, even the expensive stuff. I put some on and went to bed, the stench woke me twice even though I only put a little on. When I woke I couldn't really see a difference except I spot on my thigh where I had sprayed too much. So I'm still white and pasty except for a big ORANGE patch on my right inner thigh. That'll bring the guys running!

'Nother Sidenote: How did Eminem get famous? He has got to be the least talented rapper out there. (I ain't never seen an ass like that... My slinky goes da-doying-doying-doying??) Take it from J-dawg, I could come up with better raps!

Well, time to go buy a Batman costume...