Attention to Detail

Here's an example of my awesome attention to detail. Yesterday I wore my undies inside out, accidentally. The funny thing was I had gone to the bathroom at least four or five times before I noticed. (I drink lots of coffee and water during the day.)

Yagopuchae and I are making plans together for our future and I'm excited. No one's ever cared what I wanted or thought before. It's funny because we want the same things and have the same thoughts before we even discuss anything. It's perfect and I know I'm nauseating to everyone else but, oh well. I'm hoping to get out soon even though I said I wanted to retire. It'd be nice to have the money but life is too difficult trying to balance everything and not doing any of it very well. I think I'll be better at being a mom than a captain anyway. Plus, I don't much like being a Lootinint and I don't think Capt will be much better. It'll be nice not to look at train schedules every weekend.

The old diet isn't going so well, it's got me kind of bummed. I broke down and ate Taco Bell yesterday and today I was starving and ate my lunch at 0900. I even ate Cheerios at home before I came in but I was still hungry.

Even the Best-layed Plans...

This weekend didn't go at all as I thought it would. I had the big Sock Hop scheduled Friday night which was kind of a disaster. It was complete mayhem, a thousand screaming little kids with parents crammed in to a tiny school. I envisioned a cute scene from Happy Days and it was NOTHING like that. I knew Yagopuchae was uncomfortable in a room that crowded and I couldn't wait to get out of there.

We went to bed late and then got up at 0330 to go skiing. The weather was awful, Sam wasn't feeling it and it took ELEVEN hours to get home. We got home around 0500 Sunday morning instead of Saturday evening. In a word, it sucked.

Sunday was nice though. Sam's friend Brianna came over and we kind of just lounged around the house all day. I made dinner and Yagopuchae complemented it, as he always does. I swear, I could heat him a dog turd and he'd tell me it was the best dog turd he's ever eaten. "It's good, honey." :^)

Paying for College

I'm thinking I may redirect the money I send to Sam's college fund every month. I think he may be able to pay for it with the money he's putting in his piggy bank during Lent. Yesterday I gave him 2 euro and a dollar. I've already said the f word this morning, although no one got to hear it. People park like idiots, especially when there's snow covering the lines.

Eating Crow??

I've been dreading someone moving to my office because I thought she was a meany. Today is her second day, she's been nothing but sweet and now I feel bad. Maybe I shouldn't have bad mouthed her so bad.

On the other hand, I'm not the only one that has a history with her. I've heard from four other people that she's been a witch to them too. She has yelled at me and been unpleasant in the past but maybe I just caught her at a bad time.

I'll keep you posted...

Squared Away

In a feeble attempt to look more squared away I put my hair up differently today. I put my bangs in a barrette so they wouldn't hang in my face. Unfortunately, I have an odd-shaped noggin with hair that NEVER cooperates. I look like an idiot and this only accentuates my nose, one of my favorite features. My FAVORITE is the double chin that I noticed a few months ago. Today is the start of a new month and I'm going to try to improve my lifestyle. I used to do really well but somehow I ditched all my good habits.

Oh, and I decided to give up cussing for lent. That'll be interesting. I cussed twice before 0900 this morning so it's not going to great. I think I'll give Sammy's piggy bank 50 cents everytime I cuss.

Things I Learned Celebrating Black History Month

Today I went by Sam's school to drop off the black-eyed peas. I got them there early and decided to stick around until Sam's class got there so I could see my cutie. I learned a few things...

1. I should volunteer to organize an event or two. Then I would have the right to be annoyed when I go to these things and no one seems to know what they're doing or what's going on. I can't really complain if I don't step up to the plate though.

2. I need to pack Sammy's lunch. I stopped by his table when he sat down and saw he had some sort of flauta or egg roll looking thing (it was rolled up and fried) as the entree, peaches, milk, green beans, and chocolate pudding. I stopped by again when he was getting ready to take his tray up to the clipper. Peaches and beans were perfectly in tact and only half the milk was gone. I can't complain about that either until I start making his lunch for him again.

3. Principals should be mean and feared. Not ladies that can be easily ignored. It was complete chaos in the lunch room because even with a microphone she couldn't get anyone to hear/listen to her. I probably would have lost it and started screaming. Not really the desired approach either but at least the initial surprise would have quieted the cafeteria down.

4. Sam isn't as victimized at school as he likes me to believe. When he entered the cafeteria he was using his coat sleeves to smack the doopy of the girl in front of him. As we were parting DeJuan gave me a big hug when I reached to hug an oblivious Sam. I guess DeJuan didn't want to leave me hangin'. I stood outside waving good-bye to Sam who wasn't paying me the least bit of attention. DeJuan waved good-bye to me twice. Again, I guess he didn't want to leave a sister hangin'.

Soul Food

Tonight I'm making a dish celebrating Black History Month for Sam to take to school tomorrow. I chose black-eyed peas and I'm going to use Yagopuchae's Dad's recipe. He made them for New Year's and I loved 'em, I even ate all their leftovers. You know, part of making a good impression is stuffing yourself like a pig and eating everything you can find. I've got a certain charm about me.

Sam's spider costume didn't go as well as I had hoped. I guess the kids liked it but were messing with his legs and stepping on them. They pulled a couple of them off. He was so cute and excited in the morning but he looked defeated when I picked him up in the afternoon when asked how it went. It's hard because I see so many great qualities in him and get really upset thinking someone at school hurt his feelings. I forget that's what school is, sometimes it's not easy. Even when you're only five...

Little Miss Muffet...

Today is costume day at Patch Elementary, the kids have to dress like their favorite storybook or nursery rhyme character. What do you want to be, Sam? Spider-man. No. The Hulk. No, they are superheroes, not storybook characters. Hmmm. How about the spider from Little Miss Muffet that chased her away? Okay.

I'm not the most creative person and I had to think of how to make him spider. I really have to post a picture. I bought him a black outfit and pinned long black socks stuffed with fabric to his sides. He looks funny but adorable too.

Fun trips to the commissary

Last night I went to the commissary because I was in desperate need of milk. I bought a cart full of crap, including polenta that I have no idea how to make and have never eaten. Guess what I forgot... Guess where I get to go tonight (again).

I'm mad about what's going on in SD but at least it'll finally be out there and we all knew it was coming. I love how pro-lifers are super fanatical but are willing to make exceptions for when the life of the mother is at stake or when rape/incest is involved. If we're all living by what they see as God's plan or blessing why the exceptions? Wouldn't it still be "God's plan" or a "divine blessing" if you're impregnated by a rapist? Or if you're going to die because of the pregnancy? It doesn't make sense. When they stick that little exception in there it sounds more like punishing the wicked fornicators than living by God's this or that.

I really feel like leaving for the day, I didn't even take a lunch break to buy a cell phone like I wanted. I ate nothing but junk today though, stupid Cinnabon fundraiser. Stupid Girlscouts wanting to go to Switzerland. Maybe tomorrow will be better...

Yo Yo

My RRF was rejected by AFPC because of what the General wrote on there. I was afraid that would happen. Now I'm back to my slightly better than 50/50 shot and I'm stratified as 1 of 1. I'm not going to stress about it though.

Picabo Adsit

Yagopuchae, Sam and I all had a really nice weekend in Austria. I learned to snowplow and went up the chair lift a couple times. A real chair lift, not just a tow rope. I wish we could have stayed a little longer, I was really starting to enjoy myself and felt like I could do something out there. It makes me want to head to the mountians every weekend. I get a kick out of watching Sam too, although I didn't really get to see too much of him this time since we were in separate lessons.

Yagopuchae even spent last night at my house and got up at 4:30 am to spend another night with us. That meant an afternoon of shirtless man wrestling, Sam loves it. He's so good to us.

Can't wait until Friday when we get to be together again.

My Bliss

I'm so happy today, Yagopuchae will be here in a few hours and we'll be off on our little adventure. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm not done packing yet, he'd be annoyed. The thing is, I'm busy at night. I rarely am done, ready for bed and on the phone at 9:00 as I like to be. Really, I watch a little tv while I eat dinner but I'm not lounging on the couch procrastinating. I'm changing out of my uniform, cooking, eating, cleaning, nagging Sam to get ready for bed, reading to him and then getting myself ready for bed. Anyway, enough whining. I'll make a quicky trip home for lunch and finish the packing and it'll all be good.

I sent in the money for the Sock Hop at Sam's school in a couple weeks. I marked the "family" category and included an extra $2 for pictures. I think I'm more excited about marking the form than about the Sock Hop. I don't have 50's clothes for me OR Sam but it's just a fundraiser. I'm sure I'll see some poodle skirts and saddle shoes but I'll get by with jeans and my brown shoes. :^)

Clean Water

Sam and I met with an old acquaintance for dinner last night. It was interesting. I haven't met a single person that I worked with (as an enlisted person) that finds being an officer as fun or as rewarding. The ONLY good thing we all agree on is the pay is better. Other than that, it's pretty disappointing. It's too bad. I got the distinct impression last night that Steve isn't very happy and I felt like he was lonely. Not that he was hitting on me or anything but I just sensed he was lonely. I guess everyone is sometimes, but maybe it was the nostalgia of talking about old friends and jobs.

On a much more exciting note (or hand... or whatever), Yagopuchae told me he picked out a water filter last night and I'm VERY EXCITED!! I can't believe he really might do it.

I've got a ton to do today and, as usual, lacking motivation. I'd better get started...

So Close

I actually left the office today and went to the gym. Now, I didn't work out or anything but I did indeed arrive at the gym.

I've had my gym bag packed and waiting in my car since last Thurs but if you recall I was very busy with the Ambassador last week. Yesterday, it was cold and I didn't want to go outside, so walking to the gym was out of the question. Today, I had the motivation to go do it, to go and move my butt for about half an hour. I got to gym, and started changing clothes when I realized I didn't bring a sports bra to change in to because I wore one to work last Thursday. I packed a regular bra to wear after I was done. Now for you all who know me, you know a sports bra shouldn't have been a "deal breaker" (that's for you Mickity) for my workout. But I was just low enough on motivation that it was a good excuse. I put my uniform back on and got me some chicken man for lunch.

I stopped by the sports store and got Sam an insulated lunch bag with a flaming skull on it. Nothing says, "Happy Valentine's Day," like a flaming skull!

Special Delivery

Last night I picked up part two of Sam's Christmas presents that were shipped from FL. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my wine glasses in the Legos container. They've been at my parents house since I left TX because I haven't had room for them in a suitcase.

So last night I got to have some white wine in a glass that Mickity hand painted for me. They are the grooviest glasses ever and I was only sad that she wasn't there to share a bottle with me.

Sam has slept in his own bed all night for the last two nights. He usually creeps down in wee hours and crawls in bed with me while I'm sleeping. I'm glad he's sleeping in his room all night but I like to roll over and give him a snuggle before I get out of bed. So while happy about this accomplishment I wake a little sad every morning when he's not there.

Monday Monday

Someone messed with my ULAN machine and I don't know who. All I know is that my email settings are gone, all my favorites are gone and none of my websites remember my passowd anymore. Everyone has denied touching it but when I looked at it this morning half of the stuff was unplugged and I had to reconnect. It's not a HUGE deal but it is irritating.

The weekend went WAY too fast. Friday night Yagopuchae took the train down to Leonberg and we went out to dinner. We had a nice time together and ate some yummy Greek food at a place we went to on one of our early dates. He got me a candle holder with a painting by Gustav Klimt on it, I really like it. Then, Saturday night we all went bowling and the boys beat the girl. We all had a lot of fun and I know Sammy liked being on the boys team.

This weekend we're going skiing at a resort in Austria. I set up the trip but really have no idea what we're going to get. I'm not worried about it though because I look at it as a little adventure. I spend my whole week waiting for the weekend these days, I can't really decide if it's good or bad. It depends on my mood.

Not much else going on right now, kinda sad Michelle Kwan won't get another shot at the gold medal she deserves but that's not really my problem.

Tonight is Valentine's

As silly as it sounds, I'm excited because tonight Yago and I are celebrating Valentine's Day. We are going out alone and leaving Sam at the CDC (Parents Night Out). We rarely go out without Sammy (read back to Aug to reference our first date) but the opportunity is there so why not try it? I think Yago got me a little something too and everyone likes a present. :^)

I think everything will go all right with the Ambassador today. I did a comm check and got a techy guy in there in case something goes wrong. I just finished a mug of hot oatmeal and am feeling pretty relaxed. We'll see how long that lasts...

Insane

Help me! I'm going insane today!! My procrastination has caught up with me and none of my equipment is working properly, only adding to my stress. The Ambassador comes tomorrow and I can't print these stupid briefings, the video phone isn't working and I can't even figure out when the Gen is supposed to make the call so I can coordinate it.

PLUS, I'm supposed to send out a tasking to a component today but I don't have the time. My day is almost half over and I haven't accomplished anything yet. Then why are you blogging, you ask? Because my stuff is spooling in a print queue and I'm waiting waiting WAITING!!!

Help!

Been a While

I have tons going on but a limited amount of time to write. Sam and I gave Yago his gift when he returned, we didn't wait. It's an electronic Soduko game, I always spell it wrong so don't hold it against me. I think he'll like it.

Work is going along but I'm not enjoying it. I feel like I have a decent chance of being able to stay in now and I don't know if that's good or bad news. I know it'll be good in 7 yrs when I retire but I'd rather be home taking care of stuff. I want more kids but hate dropping them off at daycare. It was especially hard when Sam was around two, I'd go to work crying at least once a week. It was heart-wrenching when he cried and clung to my leg, I hated pushing him away. On the other hand, I'd be giving up a lot of security and freedom if I get out now.

I need to find some willpower for a diet but it's difficult. It's really starting to bother me but apparently it's not bothering me enough. We'll see. Maybe if I set a firm goal. Maybe 20 lbs by the end of June... I'd say starting now but I just scarfed down an entire pizza.

What to do?

I feel obliged to post something new for Yagopuchae to look at. Apparently, he's tired of my previous post.

He comes home Saturday, Sam and I can't wait. I bought him something that I hope he'll enjoy, I'm pretty sure he will. I got myself one too because at the last minute I thought I might like it. Dilema: I was going to give it to him whenever we celebrate Valentine's Day but it's not a very romantic gift. It really isn't much of a Valentine's present so I could give it to him as a Welcome Home, I Missed the Crap Out of You gift. Problem there is, then I don't have any idea of what I would give him a week later. Probably nothing. Now that I think about it, maybe I should find out if he even plans on celebrating with anything more than an evening together. I really don't need anything else.

Hmm, what do you think?

Nothing

I posted a long entry earlier this morning that I've deleted. I don't know what was wrong with me but I feel better now. I guess it was the shower that helped. I really wanted to talk to one of my friends (sister included) earlier but they were all sleeping. Nothing anyone would have said would have helped anyway. I already know what they would say and what I would say but I'll call later, regardless.

I need some relaxation today but I have a lot to do, as is always the case on weekends.

I met someone last week who's going to put me back in the social distro list that the crazy Marine got me kicked out of. It was very funny when I told the story of how it happened. Maybe I should just get out there and make friends with people in my time zone, I'm not working shift work anymore after all. I do need some friends here but think it's unlikely I'll find someone that pops in with wine and chills with me for hours of giggling on the couch. :^)

Why am I so Easily Annoyed?

I got to work a few minutes ago and a major just came in talking about skiing, which we all know I enjoy but don't have much time for. He started arguing with me about how I need to get out and learn. I know, I know... but I really don't have time. "You're only an hour and a half away from skiing. Just leave on a Friday after work... blah blah blah."
"Yeah, I'll just leave on Friday when I get off work around 6:00 and pick up my son. That's easy." Enter sarcasm.
"Just pack on Thursday night, pick him up, shove a hamburger in his mouth and take off."
"Yeah, but I'm also really bad at it."
"Just take lessons, you and your son can take lessons."
It continued on and on, by the end I was so annoyed that he wasn't getting it.

First, I've NEVER been anywhere that'll give lessons to children and adults together. The lesson times ALWAYS conflict and I can't just leave Sam alone on a slope while I'm off with a group for a few hours. HE would have no part of it, trust me on this. I've hung out with him before, I kind of know him.

Now to the taking off after work on a Friday. Sorry, but the last thing I want to do on a Friday night after working all week is drive around lost in snowy, unfamiliar mountains at about 9:00 or 10:00 at night. I'm just lazy like that. There's no way I would be checked in to a hotel before midnight with the way the roads are marked here and my awesome sense of direction. Mentioning this is always met with a big, "OH, you HAVE to buy a navigation system. I got a Tomtom, I love it. I never get lost anymore." So, I guess if I drop a few hundred dollars on a nav system I could go skiing every weekend.

Keep in mind Sam would sleep in the car for several hours and wouldn't want to sleep when we got there. I'd also get to spend a few hundred euro on a hotel, food, rentals, lift passes. I haven't even begun to think about when my floors would be mopped, groceries would be bought or when my laundry would be done.

I guess I'm just being a negative Nancy here. He's right, it's easy to just get away and go skiing all the time while I'm here.

Whaddyaknow

I did it! I went to the gym. I heard someone yell, "Adsit!" after I got downstairs to the weight room. I turned around and saw Oleksa. My heart skipped a beat from fear of what he might yell across the gym. (They're not serving cake anymore...) Turns out he didn't harrass me nearly as bad as I thought he would, thank goodness.

Wednesday

Is it really only Wednesday? Can't it just be the weekend already? I need to go to the gym today but I'm scared... It's been so long since I've been in a gym. Plus, I didn't bring soap or deodorant for a shower afterward. Okay, I really have to go. I'll be disappointed with myself if I don't go today. Today is the day. (I need a little pep talk.)

Rant

This isn't good, it's only Tuesday and my jaw is sore. It means I'm tired, stressed out and chewing too much gum. I've got a bunch of deadlines coming up and getting little cooperation from other people. I don't like being stressed out about work... everything is an emergency but with no real consequence. I have to be humble 24/7 because of my rank even if I'm right and the O-5 is wrong. I'm still expected to be apologetic. People answer the phone with, "MAJ so-and-so. How may I help you, sir?" That ALWAYS annoys me, why put the sir in there? You aren't making brownie points with the guy calling you and if it's a female (yes, there are a few of us out there) it's annoying. It's a reminder that we're not expected to out-rank you, you want me home cooking someone's dinner. Grrr.

My Boundless Professionalism

I'm having many problems looking like I have my act together in uniform. My boots are too big and make me walk funny. It's freezing outside and I would consider double timing it in the morning but I'm afraid of tripping and falling. I always do stuff like that in front of a bunch of people.

I cut my bangs the other day to the length I like but they hang in my face while I'm in uniform. I'm supposed to be a marshaller for an MLR on Thursday and trying to figure out what I'm going to do so I don't look retarded in front of a BUNCH of Generals and Admirals.

My uniform is wrinkled and my boots REFUSE to shine regardless of how much Kiwi I slap on them. I've never, ever had shiny boots, I can't figure out the whole spit, polish and shine thing. I've used every trick known to man since 1991 without success and have been lectured at varying degrees about it since I was 19.

Here's something else... I cut my fingernails the other day. I had acrylic nails for the LONGEST time until after Sam was born and I didn't have an extra hour and a half (or money) to sit in a nail salon ever few (10) days anymore. Since then long nails have grossed me out. I hate my nails to get even a little long but it also grosses me out to cut them. I always spend a few days disgusted by them but unable to screw up the courage to cut them. The longer they get the more I dread it. It's weird.

One more unrelated thing... Sam has all the months of the year memorized except one. His birth month! Isn't that supposed to be the FIRST one you memorize?? We went over it again and again this morning and he did September, November every single time.

Money for Nothing

Money for Nothing is Sam's new favorite song. We heard it while eating dinner one night and when he found out I have it on a cd... Well, I've heard it every single day since at least twice.

The memories I have attached to it are weird though. I love to listen to Sam sing along in the car. "That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it, you play your guitar on the MTV..." Unfortunately, the song is on a cd that my ex made right before we broke up and has a picture of us on it. I don't particularly care to see a picture of us together but Sam likes the song so much that I hold on to it.

It also reminds me of when I was 12. There was a guy that was 17 that used to hang out in our neighborhood. (neighborhood = trailer park) I remember one night he was in his truck playing that song with me and my friends standing around talking to him. I was picking on him about his sweatshirt because it had holes in it. I don't remember the circumstances but he wanted me to go out with him and I was shocked (terrified) because I was all 12 and he was all 17. He was the cool, bad ass, druggie guy that dropped out of high school too. (Not my Jr Prom date, that was a different high school drop out.) Anyway, I found out a few years after I left home that he committed suicide. It's always weird when you think about someone who committed suicide because you never really see it coming. At least I don't, I'm always surprised. A lot of people that I knew in high school committed suicide, four that I can think of right now.

Well, enough happy thoughts for now. I have more housework to do.

Hellooo Weekend

It's another Saturday that I'm not working, how cool is that? I woke up early and super-motivated. I was vacuuming at 0800, made pancakes and then got sucked in to the tv. Castaway was on and even though I've seen it a bunch of times I really like it.

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about but since I got up so early I feel like taking a nap right now instead of doing laundry or going to the store. I MUST go to the store today though.

I've realized I drink WAY too much coffee these days because I get headaches every few hours, not just late morning anymore when I don't have caffeine. Coffee for me is kind of what I think smoking is for others. It's very social... being part of the coffee club and taking coffee breaks. Unfortunately, in my new office the biggest coffee drinkers are old gray-haired men. They're not all old but the 3 most frequent visitors to the coffee pot are grandpas. One of them has a wandering eye (not in the cheatin' kind of way) and one calls me ma'am. It's awkward for me to have an old guy call me ma'am, especially when I'm a LT! It might be different if I were a colonel. Oh well, I guess it's the one person I get a shred of respect from over there. I guess I should just appreciate it.

I'm just waiting for Weekend Update to start on SNL so I can leave and get something done today...

Is it okay if what??

I was happily awakened at 5:15 this morning by Yagopuchae. I always like to get a call from him but here's what really made my day:

Yagopuchae: "...Umm, honey... would it be okay if your dad and I had nicknames for each other??"
Waldo: "What?"

It seems Yagopuchae and my dad have been emailing and gave each other a nickname. And he wonders why I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to contact my dad without me being there.

Cleaning Up

I was cleaning up my room and found an envelope stuffed full of old bills and papers. I went through it and found some cute pictures of Sam but also some memories of an ex. There were a couple cards, a letter, and a picture of the three of us. It seems so long ago and I feel so detatched from it all. I didn't even think twice about tearing everything up and throwing it away. No sadness, I just looked at the picture and wondered if we ever REALLY had fun together. I'm still trying to understand why I was so upset last December. What was I going through that I thought he was the answer?? We were sooo not right for each other. Thank goodness that didn't work out or I never would have gotten involved with Yagopuchae, who I lu-uv! :^)

Other People's Kids

I am going to have to accept the fact that I have an exceptional child and forgive all the other annoying children in the world. I can only hope Sam remains strong and doesn't spiral downward to their level. Although sounding judgmental I don't blame parents. I really think a parent can only take small credit for a kid's behavior, they happen to be little individuals from the time they are born. I happen to have been extremely lucky for some unknown reason. Maybe God just knew I couldn't handle a challenging kid.

Skunk Pee

Thank you to my pungent coffee-scented urine for reminding me to drink more water. Thanks for stinking up the stall at work so I rush out (after a quick hand wash) hoping no one will associate me with it. I don't have enough problems forgetting deodorant.

Smrty

I have been brilliant lately! Tuesday I came to work without my BDU top, I'm still not sure how I managed that. I had to go back home and finish dressing myself, duh. Then, yesterday I forgot to put on deodorant. I thought I felt a little sticky but I kept putting my nose in my shirt and it smelled okay to me. But when I changed in to my pajamas last night and got my nose closer it was clear I'd forgotten it.

Today I'm all right but I didn't iron my uniform...

Contest

Coworker A just asked Coworker B, "So, are you going to break my record from last night? I didn't get out of here until after 8:00." Earlier Coworker B made a big point of telling the boss at 8:00 am of all the stuff he'd worked on since he came in before anyone else. (Apparently, he thinks 7:06 is the crack of dawn.) He says, "I came in to work on something and the phone's been ringing off the hook since I got here." Unfortunately, I came in at 7:30 (I was the second one in) and hadn't heard the phone ring at all. These guys are so interested in patting themselves on the back it's disgusting.

They're all my heroes, I can't wait til I become an ass.

Meeting with Father

I made an appt today to talk to my priest because I'm too lazy to go on the weekends. I told him that I'd, "had an intimate relationship before marriage." (big surprise to him since he remembers Sam) He said a few things including I, "need to love myself." I'm know I gave him a puzzled look because I wasn't sure if he was talking about masturbation! I realize that's not what he was talking about but it was my first reaction upon hearing I needed to love myself.

Also, during the course of our discussion he used the word "bastards" (not in relation to Sam, of course) and said Hell in a cussing kind of way. He has a Boston accent too which makes the whole thing even more interesting.

Bright Idea

Tell me who thinks this is a good idea. Let's put Jen in charge of putting together a briefing that the one star is going to give to a US Ambassador. These people have met me and seen my briefings... why on earth did I get this assignment?? I think someone's out to humiliate the general.

Lazy Saturday

Today is gray and positively dreary outside. I had great plans for today but now see none of it is going to happen. I need to talk to Father Passamonti but don't have the energy. I'm still sleepy without reason, all I can think is it must still be jetlag. Jetlag.

I see the church from my window and it looks beautiful to me even if it really isn't. It mostly has a stone facade but also has tudor styling that doesn't seem to match. Part of the roof has been redone and you can clearly tell the new tiles from the old... But the lights are on inside showing through the stained glass windows and it makes me want to go inside.

Sam has been sick today but that too seems to have passed. I need to wash the towels I used to clean up after him but dread the trek downstairs to the washer.

I miss my boyfriend and want to call him again but shouldn't. I talked to him this morning and don't have anything new to report plus I want to talk to him before I go to sleep.

I really need to finish sorting laundry and do some wash...

Back to Normal

I just got back today and everything seems to be back to normal. Sam's in the tub playing and I actually got a number from netflix and the problem should be fixed.

Christmas and New Year's went very well. I had a great time with my family and then met Yago's family. I don't think anything could have gone better. My plants even seem to be clinging to life. Herr Converso said kein problem about the Kehrwoche and everything. Only one thing wrong, stupid SOS.

I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha and I love it, can't wait to get in bed and continue reading it. I have tons of straightening up to do first though.

I start my new office tomorrow so I should have more to write then. Better get cracking so I can go to bed!

Netflix Can Kiss My BUTT!

Netflix is the DEVIL. I hate them. I bought a one year subscription for my parents and for some reason something got f-bombed up and they credited the subsciption to my already existing account instead of sending it to my parents. I've emailed them three times and they haven't fixed it, they keep telling me to transfer it. Problem is there aren't any links to transfer it and I've scoured the frickin' website. There's no place I've found where I can fix their mistake. Add to that they don't have a phone number and I'm ready to beat someone. I HATE NETFLIX!!! I can't even cancel the whole thing, the gift subscription plus MY normal subscription because you have to return the DVDs within 7 days and I'm on leave right now.

Angry angry angry.

Bathing

My sister and brother-in-law were talking about baths. They told me a couple days ago that they always shower together (I didn't ask for these kinds of details). During the discussion about baths they were talking about how often they get a chance to bathe together. I interjected with surprise that they can take baths together. Laurie went back to the shower discussion and Brian said, "Well at least you don't get sores on your feet in the shower. Showers don't squeak either." It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my feet, thanks Yagopuchae.

Christmas Vacation

We've been hanging out with my parents, sister, bro-in-law, niece and nephew in FL. It's been fun but I can't seem to get over my jet lag, I'm always tired. It'll pass just in time to go back to Germany. I'm eating like a maniac, I had 3 Krispy Kremes for breakfast. I think that's what the holidays are about though. January is for promising to do better and get more exercise. I have full intentions of hitting the gym regularly once I start my new job. We'll see if my boss is agreeable, I should be able to work something out though.

Tonight's Christmas Eve and we still haven't wrapped the presents. Need to get started or else we'll be up all night. Maybe after some coffee, I'm pooped.

I took Sam to the ER last night because he has another ear infection. They said the scar tissue is so bad on one of his eardrums from the tubes that it should be monitored to prevent hearing loss. That's quite a run-on sentence and doesn't make much sense but I know what I mean. He's doing better now though.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

Children's Christmas Party

The Children's Christmas Party was Sunday afternoon so I cut my weekend short with Yagopuchae so Sam and I could go. I missed it last year and was advised to always volunteer for those things so that I would be given the day off from work. As soon as they started sending stuff out about the party I volunteered to be one of Santa's helpers. I thought I was going to have to wear a costume so I didn't put much thought in to my wardrobe. Turns out the only costume was a Santa hat, luckily I was wearing my Christmas Butterfly pin. Duh.

I showed up an hour early and ran in to an old aquaintance (Emily, she's the only girl I know that's been up close and personal with an uncircumcised penis) that I had gone to basic training and DLI with. We never hung out at DLI or when we ran in to each other several times in the desert. Now we're both here but she's not active duty anymore and we both have kids. We spent like an hour talking, it was funny because she's kind of ditzy and I totally can't relate. Everyone was supposed to bring a dish to pass, I completely spaced it and she forgot to put the chicken in her Chicken Surprise dish. Too funny. I haven't gone to mass in forever and didn't even enroll Sam in CCD this year and she was like, "Don't worry about it, if it weren't for Dave you wouldn't ever see me at mass." Sam's favorite part was getting his face painted with a spider on one cheek and a snake on the other.

School Days

Here's my random story of the day.

I take Sam to the bus stop every morning when I work mids and every day off when I work days. We walk and discuss what he's going to do at school that day, what his favorite part of the weekend was...whatever. Many mornings (like this morning) he'll spray a web and we'll run holding hands pretending we're swinging on his web. I cherish this time with him and wait at the stop until the bus gets there. We look at stars and play games with the cars passing by. Once he boards the bus I wait, watching where his sits and who he's talking to. As the bus pulls away I wave to him and he NEVER sees me. I still wave every morning in hopes he'll see me and wave back.

Congratulations

I've only got a minute b/c I'm on my way to Yago's house for the weekend. I just wanted to tell Abbyabbitha congratulations.

Must Share

I just read a help desk ticket and I have to share this with everyone.

The Col requests a new mouse. She keeps cleaning her mouse balls but it still acts erratic.

HAHAHA!! That's too funny and there isn't anyone to share it with here.

Diego Torres

I bought a Diego Torres cd when I was in Argentina almost two years ago and it's one of my favorites. As you can probably guess, it's all in Spanish. Diego is from Argentina and I think got his start as a soap star. Anyway, Sam really likes the cd too. He's never seen what Diego looks like but he's been telling me lately that he thinks Diego looks like Bayardo's dad. Too funny.

Pansies

I'm entirely too pleased with myself. Apparently, there are a bunch of slots open at SERE (survival school) for all the services. All the guys are talking about how they don't want to go but they could sign up the guys they don't like. None of them have ever been or ever want to go. I honestly thought the whole thing was fun. Mind you, these guys are Army Rangers and Marines that are at least majors and afraid of SERE school. Too funny, they're a bunch of pansies. SrA Adsit went and had fun.

More Explaining

Last night while shopping on post for some Christmas decorations Sam told me he wanted to celebrate Hannakah. He loves the whole menorah thing so we bought a menorah-like thing. He was whining about, "Why don't we ever get to celebrate Hannukah or Kwaanza?" This is a good conversation to have in the middle of the PX. "Well Sam, people who celebrate Hannukah don't believe in Jesus." And Kwaanza, what the heck? I don't even know what Kwaanza celebrates, just know it originates in Africa. "We're Catholic honey, we celebrate Christmas."

Fast forward half and hour and we're in the commissary produce aisle. "Mommy, what does Cath-o-lic mean?" Jeezy Creezy. (don't call me jeezy creezy) "It's our religion." Please stop.

I suppose I should be interested in Saddam's trial but I'm really not. Of course, he's going to be found guilty. I don't really care, the whole thing seems a little ridiculous to me. Even with the murders and security problems. Is anything being accomplished by murdering defense lawyers, no. Whatever.

Bellyache

Why can't I stop eating?? I am stuffed right now. I don't know what happened to me but I've been shoveling the food in lately like I thought it was all going to disappear. It's disgusting. Nuts, everywhere mixed nuts. I can't stop eating them and peanut M&Ms, forget it. Can't pass them at the shoppette or commissary without buying them.

I am hereby giving up all the crappy food that I've been eating. I realize nuts are good for you but not when you eat an entire container in a day. Ugh.

Happy at Work?

I have high hopes for tonight. I even got here two minutes early, unusual for me. Everyone seems to be in a good mood down here and someone brought in two bags of peanut M&Ms. Danger! Danger! My goodness, I love those things and I always rationalize that they're not that bad for me because they have nuts in them. I'm going to do some Pashto, read some of my Money magazine and my Larry the Cable Guy book. I slept forever today and feel good. We'll see what I report in about eight hours.

My analyst (one that I like) is even talking about switching nights with the sleeping wonder of an analyst so that we can work together. He likes me. (Not likes me, likes me. Just likes me. I shouldn't flatter myself too much considering who the other Watch Officers are.)

Sam was mooching my corned beef hash, eggs and toast tonight. He usually won't touch the hash so I didn't mind sharing until he was all, "Can I have more?" Dude, this is my breakfast. Shouldn't someone be in charge of feeding you? Oh, wait a minute.

I got up today to find lots of emails, that always makes me happy.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far...

Tonight I was trying to put Sam to bed and he fell down the stairs. Not completely down the stairs but he tumbled down a few of them. Last week at Yagopuchae's I completely wiped out on the stairs and think I broke my toe cuz I'm smarty. Anyway, Sam started crying and I went to comfort him and asked where it hurt. He said his hand and his back. While I was sympathizing with him he said, "I hurt my hand and my back like you hurt your toe and your back at Mr. Yago's." Yep, the apple didn't fall far from the apple tree. Poor little fella.

More Giggling at 0300

So, I'm real tired and have been trying to nonchalantly do some yoga stretches to stay awake. No one is noticing anything... Until I fall down doing triangle pose, that is. Quick recovery is key.

Play Date

We temporarily moved our office downstairs and I'm going more insane than usual. There's no tv, no movies, nothing. I have reading material but I've been awake for nearly 21 hrs and now fear reading because it brings sleep.

Sam's friend Kean and Kean's older brother, Sean, came over today. Three young boys... nix the half dozen Sam's I'd blogged about earlier. What a noisy handful. Kean was good but Sean was more than I could handle. The boys came downstairs fighting over a police car because Sean had it first but Kean wanted to play with it. Sean actually started crying, he's in 3rd grade. Sam stood witness to the fighting brothers by just looking at them. blink blink. I almost felt bad for Sam, he had no idea what to do.

The best part was when Sean decided to announce, against his mother's best attempts to stop him, that there's no such thing as Santa Claus. "Santa is you, you buy all the presents!" He knew what he was doing because his mother was yelling for him to stop, that it wasn't very nice and he just kept going on and on. It's not even like he said it once and got it off his chest. He kept saying it over and over.

This has all just reinforced in my mind what a good boy I have. I hope he's in my bed when I get home so I can give him a hug in the cuddle zone. I don't know how I got so lucky.

Giggly

I'm entirely too giggly, even for a girl. I laugh at everything, people giving curious looks... whatever, it doesn't matter. I find things amusing in situations where I shouldn't, I shouldn't be giggling and covering my mouth during the brief. I'm a dumbass but consider it part of my charm. It gives people the impression that I'm a dingy blonde but who cares. I'm busy entertaining myself.

I'm supposed to be paying close attention to the brief right now but since my part is over I'm busy blogging. Trying my hardest to type quietly, like trying to have sex quietly. Not too good at it.

My Baby

I took Sam to the bus stop this morning with his Spider-Man gingerbreadman tucked safely in his backpack. He's the sweetest boy even when I'm not the sweetest mom. When I lose my temper he's still sweet to me.

His friend is coming over after school today and I asked if he was looking forward to playing with him. He said yes but he was looking more forward to what he was going to learn at school today. Wow. I wish I had six little Sams of various ages, maybe even a Samantha in there. When I tell him I love him more than anyone else he asks, "What about Grandma and Grandpa?" I tell him I love him more than Grandma and Grandpa and he gets really upset. I've learned to say that I love them all the same. What kid doesn't want to hear that he's loved most? My sister and I used to plead with my mom to tell us we were her favorite. "It's okay if you tell me you love me more than Laurilou and that I'm your favorite. I promise I won't tell her." Mom never fell for it, she always loved us the same. Smart lady.

Who's Grouchy?

Apparently, I've been irritating lots of people at work. But I think it's mostly been the people who annoyed me first. I'm getting tired of all these people slacking and making six figures, especially "management." What on earth do these people do all day? I ask the question and get no answer. One of the guys used to be my friend but now he pisses me off so much that I find it difficult at times to contain myself. Need to find a little restraint but I won't really see them a whole lot anymore. I'm starting mids again tomorrow and then moving to a different office. I'm going to work on finding some Zen and calming myself down.

Sorry about the slacking but I've been busy. Mids are always good for blogging, especially this month because they're taking away the tv and movies. No 2am Dr. Phil or 3am Oprah. Grrr.

Let it Snow

I awoke this morning to a thin blanket of snow covering my Christmas village. Picturesque and beautiful. I love snow but hate being cold, unfortunate because I keep losing my mittens. I'm a huge fan of Thinsulate mittens but they're hard to find.

That reminds me, it's time to dig out all the Christmas decorations and go shopping for a tree. My stupid car and plane tickets are costing me a fortune at the worst time of the year. I'm afraid I don't have much money to spare for Sammy's presents. Why does this stuff always happen at the end of the year? Last year I was PCSing and was stressed about money and life. This year my car is robbing me of happiness. I have plunked down $1,000 over the last week or so and I still have to pay labor and disposal fees for the tires.

Oops, got a little sidetracked there... Back to happy thoughts. Christmas decorations and Sam helping me make cookies. Emailing my parents for cookie recipes because I lose them every single year. Reminds me, Sam has a project to decorate a paper gingerbreadman with his family. We still have glueing to do. We got the coloring and glitter part done. It's very cute, he gave it a Spider-Man head. That's my boy!

Thanksgiving was terrific. The only thing that would have made it better is if I hadn't had to work. Even so, it was an outstanding Thanksgiving. I meant to take some pictures but forgot once I got home.

Happy Thanksgiving

This will be a very happy Thanks- giving. Yago came down last night after work and is spending the day cooking while I work. He could have gone to his friend's house and mooched free food and watched football. Instead, he did all the shopping and drove two hours to my house with a turkey and all the fixin's. I love him and how hard he works to make me happy.

I wish June 1st would hurry up and get here so I could figure out what I'm going to do. I'm spending too much time thinking about the upcoming board that will decide my fate. I have absolutely no control over it and should forget about it until Memorial Day. I know my record is mediocre at best, as I've never tried to blaze a trail. I also know slacker Lts that have won quarterly and annual awards. I've never won anything. Ever. I don't need a lot, just want Sam to go to a good school and don't want to work long hours and leave him with someone else anymore.

Sam's probably having fun today with Yago. I think I'll have to get out of here for a little bit to check on them. Have to make sure they're not doing anything too manly.

My Non-Blogging Self

I've been slacking on the blogging. I got my heat fixed so I haven't had much to gripe about lately. Mmm, hot showers.

Oh, here's something. I had the 50,000 miles maintenance done on my car. Almost €600! Holy crap. I still have to buy tires which is not easy unless I want to spent another €1,000. I called AAFES at 3:15 yesterday afternoon and the guy put me on hold and forgot about me. I tried calling back and the phone was off the hook until they closed (4:00), at which point they were no longer answering. I was so mad. I'm still kind of irritated.

Sam's learning things I'm not too happy about. He called something Chinese the other day, as if it were derrogatory. Later, he said something about Jewish. He has no idea what either mean. I asked where he learned the words and he wasn't really able to answer me. Then a few days ago he asked if I knew that all people with brown skin were from Africa. What? He's aware we're white, I liked it more when he was completely unaware that we had white skin.

Feier?

Anyone know how to say Fire! in German? Here's a picture of Zephyr trying ridiculously hard to light 33 candles. I went out and ran a few errands while she finished up. It was no easy task!

The Heat is on

Yea!! I went to the housing office this morning and they got a repairman to come out and fix my thingy-ma-bob! I'm so happy. I warmed up and celebrated with a pint of strawberry ice cream and now I'm cold again. There's no off position on the ol' genius switch. More good news, Sam gets to have a bath tonight. I have two minutes until I gotta leave for the bus stop so I'll sum up my weekend with one word... miserable. I don't know how poor people live like that. Jeezy creezy.

What Else?

I came home from work and it's freezing in my apartment. It's only about 40 degrees outside and I have no heat or hot water. I have no idea why and of course the housing office won't be open until Monday. I'll have to go to the housing office because those punks NEVER answer their phones or return calls so that'll be awesome too.

We're going to spend the next 2 1/2 days shivering and showering at the gym. What the heck? Why does this always happen to me? I'm irritated and cold.

Before and After

This is me before and after my phone call last night. Thank you.

I'm working on the holiday, kind of sucks because there isn't anything to do. I'm not really too ambitious either. I have the weekend off and I don't know what to do with myself. I'd like to get out and do something though. I guess I could try to ride bikes with Sam if the weather is okay. Maybe I could finally drive to Switzerland although I don't feel like spending the whole day lost in my car. Maybe not a good idea. We'll see.

Holy Smokes

This was the view from my computer desk this morning. The picture doesn't capture the rate at which the smoke was billowing out. It stopped as suddenly as it started. I thought at first maybe we'd gotten a new pope or something.

St. Martin's Walk

For those who don't know the story I'll explain. I didn't know the story until Sam came home and told me... St. Martin was riding through town on horseback one cold night. He saw a woman who was cold and didn't have a cloak, he cut off a piece of his cloak and gave it to her. I'm sure there's more to the story but that's all that Sam has explained to me.

Now, for some reason, German children walk through the streets with lanterns to celebrate the holiday. I went to Sam's class last week and helped him make a lantern out of an old Gatorade bottle and tissue paper. We all met at the school this evening and they handed out glow sticks to put in the "lanterns." Then we walked the streets behind someone on horseback playing the part of St. Martin. Sam was so preoccupied with the ribs I had promised we didn't even stay for the re-enactment. I was more disappointed than he was that we missed it. I don't understand where the lanterns fit in to the story!

It was pretty interesting and hopefully next year we'll stay for the whole thing and I'll figure out what it's all about. Anyway, here's a picture of Sam outside of school with his lantern. I got a picture of the horse but it didn't turn out well and I was sick of the guy next to me making fun of my picture-taking abilities so I quit trying. You try taking a picture of a moving horse in the dark with a big ol' delay waiting for the flash, asswipe.

When we went for ribs (they were out) Sam and I ran in to an old aquaintance we'd met last Halloween right after we'd PCSed. I was very surprised he remembered us but he did, even though Sam wasn't dressed as Spider-Man tonight. It was funny.

One last thing, I made an appt to get my tail light fixed. I did accomplish something today.

He Had a Bad Day

I picked Sam up at the bus stop and the chaperone walked off the bus with him because he was crying. Details are sketchy but he fell down on the bus at one of the stops and somehow hurt his ear. The chaperone said he wasn't obeying and wasn't sitting down. Sam says he was play fighting and Sean pushed him out of his seat when Sean got off the bus. He cried all the way home, I carried him and tried to soothe him.

He told me Thomas said I wasn't his friend. I only loved him, I wasn't his friend. I reassured him I am also his friend. (Even though any good parenting book will tell you not to be your child's friend.) Today was Spencer's last day, "He's moving back to America." Sean pushed him down.

Reminds me that life isn't easy just because you're 5 and don't have to pay bills or work for a difficult boss.

Tonight we're going to walk with his lantern for St. Martin's Day and then go for ribs. He's so excited about ribs I think it diminished the wear of the day. $9.95 is a small price to pay for that.

Killing Time

I have wasted my entire day here. I did learn how to say small she donkey in Pashto so maybe it wasn't all a waste. Not sure if I'm pronouncing it right though. Why would you put small she donkey on page 8? Wouldn't a thousand other words come in handy before that one, like maybe the numbers?

My man is far away and I've just been sitting staring at Outlook for hours. Lucky for me and unfortunate for him, he has jet lag and was up emailing me all night long. I can't wait until he comes back. We're supposed to get together over New Year's, can't wait for that either. It will surely be better than the last time I made plans.

Hurry back.

March of the Penguins

I really wanted to take Sam to see this movie but of course it's only showing two days and I have to work. It looks so cute.

At least I'm back on days. No more working with the incredible sleeping analyst. Well, not until December anyway. Trying to figure out what to do with myself for the next 8 hrs. There's nothing going on here. I should work some more on the Pashto but I can't figure out the alphabet and it's ticking me off. My old roommate told me that once you learn the alphabet it's easy. She had stuff hanging on the walls written in Farsi and it blew my mind that she could read it. I just need to hear the sound and see the character that goes with it but the online course doesn't do that. I bought a couple books but they aren't talking books so it's not really helping.

Trying not to think of my upcoming board that will decide my fate. My OPR that was due in June still isn't done so I don't have much faith that my supervisor will have my PRF ready in time. I'm going to be one broke person on Sep 29th. I should be thinking about where I'm going to go, FL or NE? What am I going to do to earn a living? I have no idea. In FL I'd probably work on being a Spanish teacher and in NE I'd probably try to get a job as a contractor again. I hated being a contractor though. Maybe I could get a job working for my brother-in-law at Long John's Silver. That way I could smuggle out some fish for my boy.

That reminds me, what am I going to make for dinner? I forgot to get anything out of the freezer. Fish sticks probably.

Wondie Undie

I went to Yago's house for the first time Thursday night. It was a surprise, as all my coworkers now know because I can keep my mouth shut almost as well as he can. I was expecting tv tray end tables and mismatched furniture. Nope, he's way ahead of me. (I don't even have the tv trays.) I really don't know what he's doing with a slug like me but whatever. I guess I'm okay with a guy that has a nice, clean, well-furnished house. So far the worst I've seen from him is he salts his cantaloupe, eww.

He's back in the states now going through a difficult time, I hope he's doing okay.

adontwana

Schmitty had his first exposure to a religious cult last Wed night. A friend from his soccer team invited him to A W A N A and I said sure. We got there and every kid had a little red vest with patches and gems and a matching bible bag. You have to complete tasks to earn patches, similar to scouts. I can only sum up the 1 1/2 hours as eye opening. I got to see small children stand up and recite bible verses, pledge allegiance to the bible (not kidding, one kid stands with the bible and the others put a hand their heart and say, "I pledge allegiance to the bible..."), chant something to the ADONTWANA flag. That's right, they have a flag. Before we left Schmitty wanted to know how to get a red vest like everyone else. Eek, avoid answering.

The best part was when I saw the little boy getting a page in his book signed off stating he brought a friend (Schmitty). My little buckaroo was nothing more than a patch on a vest.

I'm not opposed to religion in my boy's life. I want him to know about religion and catholicism. We go to mass, he goes to CCD and we always stop and say hello to Father Passamonti. But...I don't want Schmitty mindlessly memorizing bible verses without knowing what any of it means. He needs to question things, not blindly follow. Listening to a 6-yr-old recite a verse creeps me out.

Getting My Butt Kicked

So tonight I'm getting my butt kicked at work with this stupid exercise. I have a ton to do which is very unusual working nights. Luckily, I'm off for a couple days and then the exercise should be almost over.

I have finally found a redeeming quality in our Director. He knows who Eddie Izzard is and recognized him on my background. Quite shocked was I. (A little Yoda grammar for ya.)

I'm tired and grouchy so I don't have much to write. I think I'm going to miss Phil and Oprah this morning.

Duh...

All afternoon I've been tiptoeing around my apartment because I fell asleep on the couch this morning and had a dream that Zephyr came home. I saw her bedroom door closed when I woke up and assumed she was napping. Finally, an hour before she gets home, I got the nerve to push her door open a little and saw she's not here. I could have had the music blaring and vacuuming all afternoon. I'm a dummy.

I have to work tonight and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I don't know who my analyst is but I know who I don't want it to be. It's my last mid for a while though. Saturday I start working days until December. That means I'll be passed out in a chair everynight by 9:00. Also means I won't see The Daily Show for a month. It's on at 11:30 and that's way too late when you have to get up at 4:00.

Time to do some more laundry... I gave Sam one of my famous haircuts yesterday. He took it like a man.

Happy Halloween

It's Batman and Robin! I checked my mail again today right before it closed and my package was in! So happy. It was very amusing walking around and Sam loved it. My favorite part was getting gas at the Shoppette afterward and buying a six pack.

As I was putting on my costume Sam decided he wanted to be Robin and I could be Batman. I had to talk up his utility belt and the design of his cape. We decided being Batman was better. The best Halloween in my whole life.

Goals for the Day

1. Wash my bedding.
2. Organize Sam's bookshelf.
3. Clean Sam's room.
4. Clean my room (fat chance).
5. Clean floors.
6. File paperwork at CYS.
7. Make pork tenderloin for dinner.
8. Already forgot what I was going to buy at PXtra. Drawing pad for Sam and something else...
9. Get mail and scream that my costume didn't get here in time.
10. Call Volvo and make an appt for service.
11. Order tires at AAFES before one of them blows out on the Autobahn.
12. Peel myself away from email.
13. Perform some sort of exercise today.

Almost noon and haven't managed to complete a task yet. I blame #12.

Where's Mickity?

Mickity, I've been looking all over for you. I'm checking your blog, my blog, yago's blog about every 20 mins waiting for you. Where's the sharp humor and bitter anger? How am I supposed to get through my shift?

I called Sammy to say goodnight but he was already asleep. Zephyr woke him and he kind of grumbled through the conversation but managed to mumble, "I love you, too," a couple times. I bought him some books online and am pretty excited to read them with him later tonight.

While I was getting ready for work yesterday afternoon he came and sat in the bathroom. I finished and turned out the light as I went in to my bedroom. I saw him still sitting in the bathroom alone and went back to ask what he was doing. "I'm trying to talk to God in some peace and quiet. But you're in here now." Hmmm, should I chastise his tone? No, I'm too curious. "Oh, what are you saying to God? ...or is it private?" "It's private." "Okay..."

Yagopuchae is going to get up early this morning and driving two hours to take Sam to his soccer game. I am quite astonished, don't know what to make of it. Makes me think of my whiny ex that agreed to take Sam to the POW/MIA ceremony while I stood in the formation. He bailed at the last minute because it was hot outside. Mickity saved my bacon on that one, and missed the ceremony due to an ill-timed potty break. I think I'll keep the new man around as long as he wants to stay.

Annoyed, Again

I'm completely pissed off with a red face trying to grit my teeth and keep my mouth shut. The analyst has been f-bombing with me the last two days. If he doesn't get a reaction maybe he'll get bored and stop. I'm really trying to keep it together and not just curse him out Mickity-style. Maybe I could make a man cry, that'd be awesome.

He called me fat earlier, which went over my head until he pointed it out to me. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying and then he said, "That was mean, I don't know why I've been so mean to you lately." Whatever, Tubby. Then he has made a point of talking through Phil and Oprah the last two days just to annoy me. Oprah had stuff on about the environment today and he just kept saying, "So I guess this is Bush's fault. (insert eye roll) Yeah, it's all the rich countries. We need more gov't because they always fix complicated problems." Shut up! No one said we need the gov't to subsidize hybrid autos. She's talking about switching light bulbs you stupid f-bomb.

WIC commercial comes on, one of his favorite subjects. He asks, "Did you use that?"
"Yes, I did. I was unemployed at the time but I know what you think about it."
"How do you know what I think?" he asked.
"Because I've listened to your comments every time the commercial runs about gov't handouts and how we should just keep giving stuff away. Make it a lottery."
"Wow, you must think I'm ignorant and mean."
"I don't think you're mean," was my answer.

He also doesn't think we as humans contribute in any way to global warming. In fact, there's no such thing as global warming. You're stupid if you think that. It's God's doing. We have nothing to do with the whole thing, pollutants don't exist. Brilliant.

Waiting for the Mail

I still haven't received my Robin costume, this doesn't look good. I have tomorrow and Monday since the mail room isn't open on weekends. If it gets here after Halloween what am I going to do with a $50 Robin costume?

A little boy on Sam's soccer team gave him a birthday card today. It was cute, homemade with candy taped to it. I was talking to the mom and she asked if Sam could go to AWANIS (KWANIS or whatever it is) with Jacob. She said they encourage the kids to bring their friends and Jacob said Sam is his best friend. I'm not sure how I feel about it, with no knowledge of it I think they're trying to steal my baby from the Catholic church and Father Passamonti. Sam has religion and religious education, although I have really slacked since I started mids in July (July for Okies). I said yes before I thought about it... but what harm could really be done? I haven't had to field any tough questions about the Holy Spirit or Jesus in a couple months.

Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep suddenly and in an odd position. My eyebrows were screwed up all night. I tried to gel them and everything but nothing helped. I just thought it was funny when I was applying hair gel to my eyebrows yesterday.

Enjoying The Daily Show now. Thanks to Mistress for finally putting a new post on her blog.

SO WRONG

This is what's wrong with working mids. You wander the net all night and find things like this.

Instructions for Life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
-Respect for self
-Respect for others and
-Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Boring for a blog entry, I know. I just thought it was interesting and I wanted to look at it some more.

Happy Birthday

Sam had his birthday and it went pretty well. I drove him to school and we took his chocolate cupcakes in for the class. I let Sammy carry them part of the way himself and was a bit nervous. He was so excited I was afraid he was going to trip and fall on them. When he came home Yagopuchae and I met him at the bus stop to walk him home. When we got home he opened his gifts, a ridiculous amount thanks to Zephyr, Jason, Grandma and Grandpa, and me. Then, my parents called to wish him Happy Birthday and we all went bowling. He had fun and "helped" everyone improve their game. Then we went home and had birthday cake after a moving rendition of "The Birthday Song."

Yago spent a couple nights on my couch, we had a good time. He even put together my computer desk. Now I don't have that to trip over anymore, bummer. He went home today but will be back on Saturday so I have that to look forward to. We have so much fun, unless I'm being presumptuous again. Maybe it's just me having fun... well, Sam and me.

Can't wait until Mickity moves from the butthole, then maybe she can come visit me. Frohlingsfest. Yea.

See...

See, it's not bad. Me likey.

Uneventful Day

I think I have Sam's birthday taken care of. Zephyr and I took turns distracting Sam at the CX. It was kind of funny. It's so much easier doing stuff like that when you have another adult. The plan, as it stands now, is to have Sam come home from school, open his presents, call my parents and go bowling. Mmm, dinner at the bowling alley.

I have so much to do around my apartment it's not even funny. I'm living in complete filth and squalor, very disgusting. I have to do Kehrwoche during my dinner break and no fooling around tonight.

So here's an interesting conversation Sam and I had while I was putting on my makeup this afternoon:
"What's that, Mommy?"
"Lip gloss."
"I want some lip gloss."
"Sorry, honey. Boys don't wear lip gloss. ...Unless they're a boy like Eddie Izzard."
"I want to be like Eddie Izzard when I grow up so I can wear lip gloss."
"Hmmm. Really?"
"Yeah, I just have to be funny like Eddie Izzard. Tell me some of his jokes."
"I can't remember any of them right now."
Zephyr told me she overheard the "Eddie Izzard conversation" and laughed at me.

More Procrastination

Sammy's birthday is Tuesday and I still haven't bought his birthday present. I HAVE to go to Robinson Barracks tomorrow and pick something up. I takes forever to drive over there so I'll have to get up VERY early, like noon or something.

I ordered a Robin costume online and am anxiously waiting its arrival, Sammy will be so surprised. He'll LOVE it! And even if he doesn't, I can't wait to show up at Gen Verbeck's house dressed as Robin.

My Boyfriend

My boyfriend spent the last couple days with me but left late this afternoon. As soon as I saw him turn from view on the Autobahn I missed him. I wanted to follow him home. Very crazy and I'm trying to put some sense to it before I go insane.

I have to keep reminding myself that it's impossible to like someone this much after dating a month. You can't know someone that well after such a short period of time. It takes much longer to peel away the different layers of a person, like peeling an onion. Nonetheless, it's so much fun hanging out with him. I don't remember liking anyone I've dated this much. Crazy crazy, can't stop thinking about him.

Sam likes him a lot too which is comforting and alarming at the same time. Quit seeming so perfect so that when you leave I don't have to try to explain it to Sam. You fit too well. Sam called you family today and I ignored it, should I have corrected him? I don't know. Maybe you won't leave...

For Mickity

Three screen names that you have had: What do I look like, a geek? I've had two: Waldo and ysk.

Three things you like about yourself: I'm goofy, independent and liberal.

Three things you don't like about yourself: I'm impatient, at times quick to anger and gossip too much.

Three parts of your heritage: Polish, Irish and German

Three things that scare you: Empty nest syndrome, childhood cancer and being homeless

Three of your everyday essentials: Coffee, hug and kiss

Three things you are wearing right now: Pink sweatpants with huge wine stains on them, Nebraska Special Olympics tshirt my baby's daddy bought me in 1994, and underused running shoes

Three of your favorite songs: Fly Me Courageous, The Gambler and Rhinestone Cowboy

Three things I want in a relationship: Honesty, security, laughter

Two truths and a lie: I wouldn't change my past for anything, I love living in Europe and I think I have a good life.

Three things you can't do without: Magazines, TV, my boy

Three places you want to go on vacation: Russia, India, Patagonia

Three things you just can't do: Fight, see something through to fruition, put together my computer desk

Three kids' names: Sam, Katelyn, Connor

Three things you want to do before you die: Buy a house in a foreign country, visit every continent, see my grandchildren graduate

Three Celeb crushes: George Clooney, Anderson Cooper (I love that guy too!), and I think Eddie Izzard... is that wrong?

Three of your favorite musicians: Madonna, Robert Smith, Kenny Rogers

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: Shoulders, back and pecs

Three of your favorite hobbies: traveling, reading, hobbies are overrated

Three things you want to do really badly now: Sleep for 12 hours straight, kiss my boyfriend, visit a friend

Three careers you're considering/you've considered: Doctor, teacher, lawyer

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: I hate romance novels, I have trouble expressing myself, I like to drink beer.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: I gossip, I like dressing up, I have too many pairs of shoes.

Mistressofmoomoo and Yago, care to give it a try?

Impulse Shopping

I bet you think I was online again or something, but no. I was in the commissary. I didn't buy too many candy bars or potato chips either. I went with the notion of buying some meat the wasn't frozen so I could cook dinner and pick up some 2% for Zephyr. I left with half a cart full of fresh vegetables, fruits, cheese. The problem is that I bought the stuff knowing that I'm going to be working Fri, Sat, Sun night and won't be able to use the stuff until at least Monday. I was in a mood to cook some killer dinners and bake pies. When's that supposed to happen? My produce will be wilty by the time the mood strikes me again and I have time off. The other option is to make all of it tomorrow... probably not going to happen. One more thing, I keep forgetting that I can't really cook very well.

Some People Never Change

I got an email from Merle tonight, he pi$$es me off sometimes. He sends me an email about Force Shaping all informative-like. As several of you know, he works at AFPC (where they do AF assignments) and by his account is worshipped there. Back to the subject. He sent an email saying he heard the AF is looking to get rid of up to 70% of the 2002 and 2003 year group. He writes to tell me to make sure I get a #1 of 5 or #2 of 10 in my OPR. Gee, why didn't I think of that? The icing on the cake is he starts the email with, "Priors with over 15 years are in the clear." Now guess who has 15 and who doesn't. Nope, no clues. The attachment, of course, has my name in it. What is wrong with this guy? Is he that insensitive? That stupid? Does he try to irritate me?

Thinking about it reminds me of Mickity laughing and telling me eventually I'll have to start saying Stupid Jen instead of Stupid Merle. I concede, Stupid Jen. (But I'm still keeping Stupid Merle.)

Thank Goodness

Thank goodness I'm feeling better today. I'm happy because I'm not bent over groaning wishing I could just cry... I'll leave that to a broken-hearted Marine. :^)

I'm checking out ski rental properties. I want to take Sam skiing so bad but with work and school to schedule around it's difficult. Plus, I really want to take lessons so I don't seriously injure myself and I can't unless he's in a week long ski class. I don't think the school would like me to pull him out for a week so I could get some snowboarding lessons. It's so much fun and I'm SOOOO bad at it! Who needs pride on a bunny slope? My favorite moment last winter was when a little girl stopped and asked if I was okay after I wiped out real hard. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just going to lay here for a few minutes though. Thank you." Beer and hot cocoa by a crackling fire after a day full of screaming like a little girl, you can't beat that.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Daily Show, my analyst does not. He's sitting with headsets on moaning. Whatever, dude.

Update of How My Shift Is Going

I damn near got cornered in to another, what's the word? ...date? The circus will be in town and guess who pulls out the calendar and tells me what days he has available to go with me. Eeeek. I dodged it though.

Then there was a phone call for the Marine with PBF. A man. We giggled and speculated. Talked about all the things I should have filled him in on while I had the chance. Immediately afterward I got a call from Yagopuchae. We were only on the phone a few minutes but after I hung up Greg was all, "Do you have a man, too?"
"Maybe."
"Who? It couldn't be Huff, he's gone."
Giggle.
"Where does he work?"
"Are we going to play 20 questions now?"
Subject change.

I hurt and feel nauseous. I can't take more Tylenol for another two hours. Need pity. So far I have drunk 1.5 liters of water this evening and my urine is still brown. Ew.

Ignore It and It'll Go Away

My personal edict for life didn't work out so well for this week. Strange, it got me through many things including a one-yr Exec stint.

Last week I had a little pinch in my left side that came and went. Hmm. I'll just ignore it and take Motrin. Hmm, I've been taking Motrin several times a day for a few days now. No worries, I'll just take more. By Friday night I was in some pain that the Motrin and Tylenol weren't combating as effectively. Saturday afternoon I was completely incapacitated with pain in my lower back. I spent the day writhing in my bed taking every over-the-counter pill I had in the house. I called my mom whining and she told me to go get some cranberry juice because it sounded like an infection. She also wanted me to go to a German hospital, a step I was not willing to take.

Sunday, I had the cold sweats but had a dinner engagement I could not miss. I took a bunch of Tylenol and went to dinner and drank a couple beers and had some more Tylenol. Spent the night shivering and burning up. Monday morning I quit taking Tylenol so that when I went to the doctor I would have all my symptoms.

Sick call is where my misery really starts. I got little sleep and left my apartment right after Sam got on the bus at 0730. I signed in at 0800 and sat there for an hour before the triage nurse saw me. I was still feeling okay at this point. I see the triage nurse and she orders a urine specimen. Then I get to sit at the lab and wait and wait. I get that taken care of and return to the waiting room to be seen by a doctor. Oprah has come and gone. Finally, I get to see a German doctor who talks to me for a few mins and proceeds to start thumping on my back... you know, because I'm complaining of back pain. I let out a mighty scream when she hits my left side. She goes to order a urinanalysis and I tell her I've already been to the lab. "Oh, let's see if the results are in. Oh my, you were right. This isn't normal back pain, you've got all kinds of things in your urine." That's always good news. "You've got a kidney infection." By this time the pain has returned and I'm miserable. I asked how you get a kidney infection and she started listing all sorts of things. Apparently, a light bulb went off when she was talking about young women who first become sexually active (no bulb yet) because there's a lot of irritation and swelling (ding!). It was funny because it must have shown on my face. As soon as she said that and saw my face she ordered a pregnancy test! Too funny. She also decided she needed to have blood drawn so she could adjust the dosage of antibiotics.

Back to the lab to sit and wait. Got my blood drawn. Back to the waiting room to sit and wait for results. By this time, I'm shivering and in significant pain. I get some Army Specialist (that's his rank, he wasn't a specialist in medicine) to pull the results after about 25 mins and they're still not in. I beg him to do something so I can get out of the purgatory waiting room. He takes me back to see the dr and she said my blood count was so high that it indicated the infection wasn't isolated to the kidney anymore, it was in my blood stream. She gave me 2 days worth of quarters (I'm at work anyway) and gave me a prescription and said I needed a follow up on Friday. I stopped by the appt desk and they said I'd have to come in for sick call Friday, there weren't any appts. Aargh! Please, I work mids from 1730 to 0600 and I've been here over 4 hrs when I should be sleeping. They took down my info and I have nothing but complete confidence I'll get a phone call Friday with an appt. Yeah, right.

Now off to the pharmacy to sit and wait and try not to cry in front of everyone while the pharmacy techs f*ck around when I'm standing at the window. Sit and wait, sit and wait. Get my medicine get in my car and let out a big sob because it hurts so bad.

Little Sam was such a good little guy though. He kept rubbing my back for me, I didn't tell him it had no effect. I just let his little hand move up and down my back, there's something about his innocent face and little hand rubbing me. He'd run and get me tissues and stuff too. Such a sweet boy that I don't deserve.

One More Thing

Real quick, before I go. I almost forgot to announce that dumb me has accidentally made a date with the 50 yr old, sleepin' on duty, porn watchin' analyst. So not funny. Now I'm squirming trying to figure a graceful way out of it. Yago keeps telling me there is no graceful way with this guy. He's right but I can't bring myself to be an ass when I work alone with him all the time. Mickity would have several gentle solutions if she were in my situation...

New Babies

A couple of people at work have new baby girls and I'm trying to shop online for little welcome home gifts. I've got over $200 of merchandise in the shopping cart right now. What's wrong with me? Everything is sooo cute! I love babies.

Okay, my warm fuzzy feeling is gone. A couple of Republicans trashed it with their loud obnoxious conversation. Why the heck can't everyone be as smart as Mickity and me? It's so frustrating when people have opposing views and then blab over the news I'm trying to watch. (Which was incidentally doing a little Bush bashing.)

Yea, bird flu just arrived in Europe. Can't wait to get me some of that! Stupid asian birds and their flu. I'm getting grouchy because I'm tired. That reminds me, I've sworn off the snack fund treats again. Starting tomorrow, of course.

Too Much Work for 0345

Due to my three hour lunch break, I'm pretty swamped and the reports are due in an hour. I gots me some work to do. I did manage to squeeze in a 30 min personal phone call to Mickity because her trip just sounded too interesting. :^)

Not My Fault

I am officially blaming Zephyr for my humiliation at work. Pictures of the Fest have surfaced and it's not pretty. I thought it was bad last spring... that pales in comparison. Pictures of me all over Yago are floating around the office and it's Zephyr's fault. We had made a pact not to allow any drunk making out but she bailed early on me. How embarrassing.

Church bells are a-ringing telling me it's time to go pick up my little buckaroo.

Feeling Better

I am soooo not very slick. Trying to keep my extra-curricular activities on the DL but it's not working out very well. I had drafted a personal email while the analyst was sleeping, yes sleeping. I left to refill my water and when I returned he was sitting in front of my monitor which I hadn't bothered to Ctrl+Alt+Del. He saw WAY too much personal info in the email and I came back and tried to act like nothing. Eeee. Why am I so stupid?

I feel like I haven't seen Sam in forever. I have to come in for training tomorrow so I won't be able to pick him up from the bus stop. I'd like to take him bike riding or something but I'll have to wait until my next day off which isn't until Friday.

I can't believe it's mid-October already. I'm starting to get excited about Christmas and seeing my sister, niece and nephew. Sam is terribly excited to see his Uncle. Kind of looking forward to Thanksgiving, too. ;^)

Sick and Tired

No, really. This time I'm really sick and tired, bonus is I have 9 more hours of this shift. Ugh. On the plus side, I feel like I have a buzz from the cold medicine.

I've been spending much time with Yago lately in hopes of getting tired of him. Not successful yet, he has some work to do. I think it would help immensely if he quit looking at me. A little less laughter would go a long way, also.

I keep writing and deleting, I'm very annoyed with myself. I'll reread something and think it sounds too cynical. They say the path to true happiness is to not become attached to things or people. The key is to remain detached and look within yourself for everything you need. The detachment is what gets me. Without connections and attachments can a person be truly happy? I can see giving up the material desires but I cannot forsake personal attachments. Will it make me less happy? Perhaps, but I think it will sometimes make me more happy than the detached person. How do you not attach yourself to friends, children, family or lovers? How is that Nirvana?

Getting Sick

Sam and I ran in to Marcel and his mom this afternoon. I was dressed in sweats with my hair in a nasty ponytail because I just woke up. How embarrassing. Sam's over there now playing with Marcel which makes me happy. I should take a picture of them, Marcel is a little blond cutie too. When I was walking with the mom she was saying hello to all sorts of passersby. I guess Germans are friendly when you can communicate and you've lived in the neighborhood a long time. I really need to take some classes, I know if I just took a couple classes I'd be a communicatin' mofo. I just need some grammar refresher, vocab and conjugation help. Yep, except for the vocab, grammar, conjugation and pronunciation I got it in the bag.

Last night my dad asked me if I tucked Sammy in and I told him that I had eaten dinner with a friend instead. He wrote back and asked what I'd gotten to eat and I started laughing out loud. I was so amused because I was sitting there with a box of dry cereal for dinner. I guess "dinner" may have given the wrong impression... that I sat in a restaurant and consumed a meal.

Everyone is getting sick, myself included. Sucks. I'm going to go drink some orange juice and gargle salt water.

I Hate Pilots

I am so angry after looking at my friend's website. He was a comm officer that just started pilot training and he's already turning in to one of them. (All too eagerly, I might add.) I read his journal the other day and he was disappointed that their class just got a Lt w/2 months on him so he's not the SRO anymore. He's all bummed, I hate people like that. Today's entry had a so to speak in it. I actually screamed out loud. "...The last briefer came to finish us off (so to speak)." I abhor that crap, loathe, despise, everything. I seriously don't think I can be friends with him anymore.

What on earth was I thinking for an entire year? What was Mickity thinking? "So...do you think my friend is cute?" Can I find a base to finish off the remainder of my career without pilots? I'll have to research that.

Mids + Food = Trouble

I'm working mids for the month of October and I see trouble on the horizon. I can't stop snacking when I work mids and I don't have 100 tasks to distract me from food. Last night I ate a frozen burrito, bag of potato chips and a bag of Doritos. I was close to getting a Snickers bar but managed to resist that temptation. Stupid snack bar, I should go after the person in charge of stocking it. I managed to work in some exercise last night but the gym will close Saturday. Bummer.

I was so mad last night because my 50 yr old coworker "accidentally" switched on porn and then had difficulty changing the channel. Grrr.

I got way too mad at Sam for missing the bus this morning, like I had nothing to do with it. Poor fella, then I didn't even get to see him after work because I had to come in to work an hour early. I just called him though and he forgives me. :-) "That's okay, Mommy." So sweet, everyone should have babies. (Rabbit people)

Volksfest '05

I went to the fest and actually put down 2 maβ of beer and ordered a third (don't remember how much of that one I drank), didn't think it was possible. I had such a good time but it doesn't translate well to writing. I will remember how I felt instead of actual events. There was no singing along to Emanuela or Die Perfekte Welle like last time, instead it was just enjoying the company of friends and laughter. Pure pleasure, an almost perfect evening that for some reason is making me sad right now. It's quite ridiculous but the best part was leaving. It was nice to go home and know I was taken care of. I didn't have to be the one responsible for figuring out how to get home. Someone took care of all that for me... so trivial but meant so much. And I hate him for it.

I won't get a nap today before work so I'll be up 24 hrs tonight, probably more like 26 by the time I get Sam to school. I tried to get my landlord to come on Thursday but he's coming today instead. I should finish cleaning but the tasks seem insurmountable so I'll just ignore it all, pretend it isn't there. I love living here but I honestly have no place to store things from extra sheets to my clothes and shoes. I don't know how the Europeans do it. They spend a fortune on furniture but I don't want to spend thousands on wardrobes that I won't need in two years and some f-bombing movers will ruin anyway. I don't have a place to put my weight bench and treadmill. Grrr. Whatever.

I'm not sure why I have found Moby so interesting lately. I'm not familiar with his music, really. Just stumbled across his website one night on mids and since have found him interesting. He uses big words and is very liberal. He's also vegan and I don't quite understand how someone can live like that. It makes eating complicated instead of comforting and pleasurable.

I feel a mess today, like I've completely lost control.